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Community > Poems & Creative Writing

Topic: Laramie's Fortune 2
writer_gurl Joined Sat 03/01/08 Posts: 7673	Thu 06/10/10 04:47 PM Edited by writer_gurl on Thu 06/10/10 04:47 PM
I have been working on a story and thought I would see if a part I wanted to put in is any good...You decide....Pleeeeeeease Houses can be lovable, Houses can be spiteful...They can be full of joy or silent. Houses can be a refuge or a place that harbors unwanted secrets. Houses can whisper and howl or be a cold, empty building....Houses can come alive, watching and waiting, silently...Houses can be a santuary or they can be a hell...Houses ...know as much as the people living inside.....Welcome Home~ The "welcome home" bit at the end is for the whispers the family in my story hears before going to the house

Peccy Joined Thu 06/28/07 Posts: 17181	Thu 06/10/10 06:07 PM
I have been working on a story and thought I would see if a part I wanted to put in is any good...You decide....Pleeeeeeease Houses can be lovable, Houses can be spiteful...They can be full of joy or silent. Houses can be a refuge or a place that harbors unwanted secrets. Houses can whisper and howl or be a cold, empty building....Houses can come alive, watching and waiting, silently...Houses can be a santuary or they can be a hell...Houses ...know as much as the people living inside.....Welcome Home~ The "welcome home" bit at the end is for the whispers the family in my story hears before going to the house Nice rhythm and cadence.....punctuation needs work, but that can be done in the rewrite.....put it in, I like where you went with it. But drawn out prose was never my thing.......I was a newspaper editor, not book.

writer_gurl Joined Sat 03/01/08 Posts: 7673	Fri 06/11/10 08:56 AM
Thanks for the input

Community > Poems & Creative Writing