So I get a phone call from someone telling me that my ex is using pictures of my first two books on her website. She's a brilliant artist and is trying to make a name and a presence for herself in the field of art, and she did the covers (not to mention page formatting and a whole bunch of other stuff) for my first two books. And she did a really great job, too.

And I said, "So? She created those covers. They're examples of her work. What's the problem?"

"Aren't those copyrighted material? And don't you own the copyright?"

And I said, "Sure, but I don't see what that has to do with anything. It's not like she's claiming she did something she didn't actually do. She made those covers and I don't have any problems with her using them to show what she can do."

"But you're not together anymore."

"That doesn't change the fact that she made those covers. Whether I'm still with her or not, she did those. If I died yesterday, she would still have done those. It's the past."

My informant couldn't get it through her head that I would be OK with letting my ex put her own work on her own website!

Am I supposed to hold a grudge? Am I supposed to be petulant and petty and unfair, just because a relationship ended? Jeez, it's hard enough being intimidating and complicated 24/7.

I don't know, maybe I'm wrong about this, but this is someone I still care about, on any number of different levels. I want her to succeed, I want her to be happy. It doesn't mean I have to be a part of that, it just means I WAS a part of that, on and off, for the past 10 years, and relationships don't always work, and sometimes you just have to take a step back, look at the bigger picture, and let it go.

Yeah, I was not happy with the way it ended. I was not happy that it ended at all.

But she's one hell of an artist, and if my book covers can help her in any way, then what kind of a jerk would I be if I tried to stop her from using them?

I may be a jerk, but I'm not THAT kind of jerk!

I think you did the right ADULT thing. Just because you own the copyright doesn't mean you have to stop her from using it. It would have been nice if the ex asked you, but it's her work and nice of you to let her show it You took the high road and weren't bitter or jaded. I think that says a lot about you

Well, that was the proper response, but factually, since she's the CREATOR of the artwork, SHE's the Copyright holder UNLESS it was agreed (in writing, of course) that the work was a 'work for hire' or unless she executed a Transfer of Copyright ... And you're right - just 'cuz you're not together anymore makes no difference as regards Copyright - that's immaterial. Copyright is the life of the creator plus 70 years (for their estate to license rights and make money). You not only did the RIGHT thing (morally and ethically), you did the LEGAL thing (legally) ...

Please indulge me as I throw this out there:
Did you get a sense of satisfaction from acting this way? Not smugness, but a sort of righteousness?
That's not to detract from the correctness of your choice, just a personal observation that I tend to have this feeling when I act in an especially moral/mature/generous hearted way.

It sounds like someone is trying to create drama where it doesn't exist.

I don't think their motivation in telling you was to protect you but rather to stir the pot.

Glad you took the high road

I think it would have been better on her part to have asked your permission first but all in all sounds like you did a very selfless thing

Maybe your informant has a hidden agenda? Or just isn't used to guys who aren't fiercely territorial?

Usually, revenge is a dish best left sitting on the store shelf.


-Kerry O.

Agreed. anyway .. Good karma goes a long way dude

Sue her!

No, really I'm kidding. Very admirable thing you did there, Lex. I would have probably did the same thing, but as an artist/author you tend to respect more what people have created instead of the lousy copyrights behind it.

A-greeeeeeed - "It sounds like someone is trying to create drama where it doesn't exist."

Bravo, Lex. In my eyes you are a REAL man. I have been divorced 12 years from my x-husband and we still support each other and care about each other. His wife is lovely, and their daughter is beautiful.

You handled it very well. Very maturely and lovingly. Bravo to you.

when you are with someone and your lives get bound together
eventually some are pulled different directions but you will
always be together in many ways.

enjoy it.

You did the adult thing to do. It's true you guys did share a life together and like you said things didn't work. It sucks but we all have to deal with what life deals to us. Now your more respected and admired for not playing childish games. In the end you are both still bound together in some ways.

Not satisfaction, not smugness....my first thought was "Why would I want to do anything that would interfere with her goals?"

I'm not one who appreciates when someone basically stands in the way of my progress, and I sure wouldn't want to do it to anybody else.

Your a good man Lex, and I agree with you totally. Dennis

I someone painted your car, would you object to him using a picture of it in his scrapbook, to show others what kind of work he does ?
Of course not, and this is the same deal. Lex is right on

Exactly. There are "legal technicalities," but I don't care too much about that stuff. I admire her work, she did a truly outstanding job for me, and that means more than all the rules & regulations in the world.

And her website is really good, too.

You acted exactly as I would have expected. But you are extraordinary that way. I often take the high ground but resent having to do it. Only because they take the low ground just to be hurtful though, not because they are doing something credible.

Leave it to you to be rational, logical and thoughtful in between being intimidating and complicated.

That's a lot of adjectives. Maybe I should run for mayor of something.