Topic: Haters Still ? My Afro
brwnkimba's photo
Thu 06/03/10 08:43 AM
Why make machines that you can’t fix quick when broken?
Oil spills and we wait for the fate pessimistically hoping.
Remember you reap what you sow?
So why do we continue stunting the way our global environment & precious children will grow?

I just don’t know.

Rarely do I frolic into politics but when in
Rome if the shoe fits I can almost do the splits.
Tricks are for kids treats are for dogs & cats.
Corrupt senators, ministers, wardens punishing prisoners deserve their nuts cracked in rat traps.

Put a little lemon juice on that.

Can you feel the burning sensation of summer heat in bitter winter?
Melting polar caps making future uninhabitable places we’d visit for pleasure, leisure & adventure.
In my life tenure I had hoped for much more than this.
Sinful the way those making decisions for us all openly acknowledge where they want us to kiss.
Assume the submissive position it’s time for an ungloved painful 2nd opinion, 1 hole hard to miss.

Leaving Louisiana wearing blue jeans, white-T, yellow Chucks & a red, Black & green bandana.
Believe in what I can touch making bucks in Vegas raising a ruckus like Hawk & Dan Tanna.
Sometimes my goofy switch gets stuck for a really long time in the ‘ON’ position.
One fly’s higher if Desire captains the boat, bum rushing seas that usually require permission.

Denied passage only means there must be another way.
I’ve fried fascist thinking they’re much better than the day.
Sorrow peddles his talents all across the world.
Borrowed Time meddles her way through what life unfurls.

“Gimme-Gimme” the 1st words of a fledgling spoiled rotten brat spoken.
Chords from Jimi keep me brimming with hope that this life isn’t only a token.
Toward the night my eyes glisten bright like diamonds sparkle in the Moons shadow.
Convinced the meek shall inherit the Earth but what hurts is the haters still question my Afro.


FearandLoathing's photo
Thu 06/03/10 09:45 AM
Too many juvenile terms mixed in with an otherwise intelligent argument. This is why it is difficult to write in a political nature, mainly because you have an intelligent topic, but if you don't write it out intelligently it falls short of what it was intended to do. Good start, you have the idea, you just need to get rid of the juvenile terms.

no photo
Thu 06/03/10 10:13 AM
I really like this! Very stylish. I found a couple parts to be a little jumbled, but really great write!

brwnkimba's photo
Thu 06/03/10 12:14 PM
:thumbsup: Thanks for the comps & critiques gents