Need I say more... i think my headline says it all.


To be honest, I've gotten very little feedback/contacts from this site.
It makes me sad.


SopAlto

Maybe they just haven't caught the vibe yet. Hang in there!

hey, i knwo how you feel. i didnt get alot of responses either. so i
will respond to you here, lol

Sop: You're cuter than Molly Ringwald could ever hope to be.
Hosea: Hot. You're hot.

I agree it’s very cliquish here if you were not here from the
beginning you just don’t seem to count.


Disclaimer
This applies to most but not all.

Sop --

I've gotten tons of feedback, and it all comes from having posted 3000+
times on the forums. It boggles my mind the amount of e-mail I get from
here now. Anything and everything: marriage proposals, death threats,
Arby's coupons, people who want me to read their writing and tell them
if it's any good, people who are curious about something I said
regarding my philosophy of relationships, people who want to be friends,
whatever.

And NONE of it is local.

I don't get it.

I have my "match" thing set up so that women in a certain age group,
within 150 miles, cycle through when they come on line. And there are
lots of them. Lots of locals. But of all the ones I've ever seen
cycling through, only you and Miss Scarlet have ever posted on the
Chicago forum.

Sop, if you want feedback, seriously, start posting in the General
Discussion forum, the Relationship forum, even the Poetry forum. You'll
get feedback.

But if you confine yourself to the Chicago forum, it'll be pretty much
like what you've experienced already. Maybe there aren't that many
local guys, I don't know, but if the ones there are, are as
uncommunicative and unresponsive as the girls, you'll be waiting a LONG
time to hear from anyone local here.

And that's sad. But that's the reality.

I've pretty much given up on the Chicago forum -- there's a new post
maybe once a week (like yours today), it may generate a few replies, and
then it's another week before anybody else shows up.

I'm spending all my time in the forums higher up, meeting a lot of fun
people from Canada and New York and California and Washington and the UK
and....

And I WISH I could meet some who were closer, but the closer ones just
don't want to be bothered.

iRon we'll start our own clique! Everyone's invited!

Count me in Butter abd your right, everyone is invited

Ron, you're right, when I first joined, it was a bit intimidating --
there were clearly some established "groups within the group" and some
who clearly were comfortable within their cliques who didn't want to
deal with anyone new. Truth to tell, there are still a few like that.

That's one reason why I've made such an effort to stress the importance
of accepting and welcoming all the new people who sign up -- that CS
thing was a bit of a rough spot, but I have to say 95% of that batch
have assimilated wonderfully.

Just wanted to point out that not everybody who has been here awhile is
inherently cliquish and exclusionary!

And Lex that is why I put in the disclaimer in and you sir were one of
the kind ones. You say 95% fit in well the truth is most are gone or
very rarely if ever, come on this site anymore.

Why am I here if I am so dismayed? I have hope Lex I have hope

If anybody can make you feel at home here it is ^^^^^^^ that dude.
((LEX))

So to Butterlight, SopAlto (me too by the way 4 1/2 octave range),
welcome and come join us in the forums.

((Hosea)) ((wench)) and ((iRon)), nice to see you all!!

Ron -- It's true that a lot of the CS group are no longer with us (I've
heard, secondhandedly, that a bunch of them have actually gone back over
there), which is sad because there were some good ones there.

But at the time of the "migration," there were some here who were
apprehensive and who were using terms like "they're going to take over,"
etc., being (in my opinion) overly dramatic and alarmist. I kept going
back to the point that these people had just as much right to join the
site as the "oldtimers" did, regardless of when it was they had joined.

My 95% figure was an estimate (based entirely on my own observations) of
the number who never caused any sort of problem during whatever time
they were here. Many of those who left did so despite never having been
disruptive at all.

The thing I found out about this site is that -- how can I put this
diplomatically? -- in some ways, you have to force yourself in. I don't
know if you have heard the story about when I joined, but I was greeted
with unconscionable vulgarity and rudeness after my first post. I
pretty much gave up on JSH for awhile after that, but eventually started
posting again once I realized that the real problem was a very small
group of individuals.

But there are a lot of good people here, a lot of people worth getting
to know, and to exchange thoughts and ideas with, and to have fun with.
The main obstacle is in getting yourself into a position where they even
know you're there, and, for me, that required establishing a presence on
the forums. I really don't see any other way to do it.

I think Sop's post serves as an indicator. You're simply not going to
get much feedback unless you push your way into the "spotlight," so to
speak, and make people "see" you. A profile won't do it.

But there's a point -- and I don't know how it happens, or why it
happens, or even what precisely causes it to happen -- when you start to
be acknowledged and accepted. The point when your posts get noticed and
not ignored. (Posts being ignored seems to be one of the main recurring
complaints from new people.) The point where people start referring to
you in postings and topics that really don't have anything to do with
you.

I am basically fairly shy by nature, so this was a little difficult for
me to do -- completely uncharacteristic, in fact. I have never been one
who seeks attention, but I had a feeling it might turn out to be worth
my while to give it a shot here.

And I did, and it's been very educational and interesting!

But, having gone through this myself, I can understand why people like
Sop might get a little frustrated with the lack of response.

Sop has (as do I) the additional complication of living in an area where
the JSH contingent simply seems uninterested in participating in the
group. Makes you wonder why they signed up in the first place....but
they did.

I don't have any answers for THIS problem. Truth is, I haven't got a
clue. I would like nothing better than to see some locals posting (and
there are at least a few I wouldn't mind getting e-mails from!) but I
doubt if that will happen in our lifetimes!

Eileen -- thank you for the kind words! I'm still canoodling around
with SpiderCam!

Hey! I'm cuter then Molly Ringwald. YEAH!!! I rock!

Anyway, enough about me. Thanks to all of you who responded. A lot of
new names I haven't seen before. That's refreshing. And Lex, of
course, it's always great to hear from you.


Anyway, I'm glad that I got some peoples attention. Maybe I will have
to wander to the general topics area. But I'm scared.

Hey Sop! --

You know, if an eccentric reclusive hermit like me can manage to fit
into the other forums, it should be no problem for you at all!

Let me give you one small example of the difference between the Chicago
forum and the higher-up ones: BonnyMiss, one of my friends here (from
the UK) decided to start a thread for me in the General Discussion
forum, basically a sort of a "fan club" thing. Up until now, the thread
has had 179 posts and 1090 views.

I feel like such an attention whore! But, at the same time, it's nice
to have all these great people chiming in. On some level, I think
that's what JSH is all about -- support, and fun, and mutual
appreciation, and friends.

I mean, I'm nobody special, I'm just one guy on one site, really not
seeking a lot of attention. But my friends here have gone out of their
way to express appreciation for some of the things I do around here.

And that means a lot!

But I don't think we'll ever see anything like that in the Chicago
forum....

And yes, you are cuter than Molly Ringworm, and yes, you should start
posting some stuff in the other forums! Nothing at all to be afraid of!

Hi sop & Lex,

Thought I'd yell out on the Chicago forum to show some support. The
women here are pretty cold though. I've found more ppl to talk to in
B.C., New York and Texas than I have here. In fact "Zero" ppl in Chicago
is my count, if I added right. Maybe I should move to B.C. where at
least if the women don't like you, they will still talk with you.

Sop - no offense



Lex - congrats on your fan club

Thanks, Mike! --

My experience pretty much mirrors your own. Canada (various provinces),
New York, California, Texas, Washington, Pennsylvania, even the UK -- I
consistently get messages from those places. Illinois, Indiana -- nada.

And the people ARE there, they show up every day cycling through my
Match list! I have even tried to intiate conversations with a couple of
them.

Nada.

At this point, I'm not even going to bother with the locals anymore.
There are too many good and decent people on this site (albeit 897,000
miles away) to waste my time on local snobs!

Anyone in Texas or B.C. in need of a roomate? I am house broken, do
light house work and will split expenses. Did I say I was house broken?
Just send me a message entitled "Escape from Chicago". I'm packing my
Collection of greatest Disco hits now for your listening pleasure.

Hey Guys!

Sorry the ladies of Chicago aren't talking to you. I mean, I do, but I
get what you are saying.

And don't worry Mike. I know you weren't saying that I'm cold. Unless
you were, in which case you made up for it by giving me this:


Hope you guys have better luck. I don't think anyone in the chicago
area has responded to my messages either... or at least not many.

I'm not real heartbroken about getting nowhere in Chicago. I like to
joke around alot. I've met people from all over on here and know that
chances are slim getting a relationship going online. Let alone moving
on to an actual off-line relationship.
Chicago is just a very unfriendly place for on-line chat. Don't know
why.
By the way, why only 17 posts? You really should try the main threads.
Just jump in and have fun with it. more
flowers to show I wasn't including you in the group.

Mike -- I think it says something thst you and Sop and I are the only
ones in this area who seem to understand how the "Reply" button works!

But there's the other side of the coin -- I tried a pay site for 3
months last year, and they had tons of local people, and I got 174
e-mails from their members, mostly locals, in that time. And 170 of
them were totally unsuitable (obviously hadn't even read my profile all
the way through). The other 4 were marginal at best.

So, getting a lot of replies is no guarantee, in and of itself, that
you'll meet someone worthwhile.

I just can't figure out which is worse: to get a lot of replies, none of
which are any good, or to be totally ignored. I suppose it really makes
no difference; the result is the same either way. It's just that, if
people ARE writing to you, there's always the possibility that somebody
good MIGHT just show up in the mix (totally by accident, of course)....