Ok let's say you are a guy, who just can't get a date, or even when it happens, she can't make up her mind and you get half answers and time wasted and you're waiting for a phone call all dressed up and ready to go and then she ends up calling you that she isn't coming and you feel like you wasted your time and the whole night sucks.

Do like I do:

1. Ask her if she wants to go anywhere.

If she says yes and it goes all well, then fine.

But let's say , she is giving half answers, she can't make up her mind or coming up with excuses:

Just go anyway. Actually what I do is that I plan where I'm gonna go next (movies, a concert to a walk, fishing, just driving, walking in a park etc.) AND I ask for a companion if someone want to join me. If they aren't coming, then ---> to the hell with them.

Here is my typical conversation:

me:"Hi, how are you?"
her: "Good!"
me: "Hey listen, I'm going to see this movie, do you feel like coming with me?
her: Umm, I don't know yet
me: Ok, let me know if you're coming, it start this and that time and I'm leaving my house this and that time.
her: Ok.

So the time comes and I call her one more time about 4-5hrs before and ask her again. That's the time, when she is still half/half then I have already decided that I'm gonna go see this movie and then I see this whole event as another opportunity, perhaps I meet someone in the theaters or whatever, just another chance to meet someone else instead of the doubtful date who can't make up her mind or trying to play you on.
It really does sends a strong signal, because suddenly she doesn't feel as important as she thinks of herself and sees that you aren't tied down and used as something as a secondary option or an ego-boost of hers.

That's good stuff Ferenc!

I have the same problem with wishy-washy guys. I make plans, and as you said, if they are being vague or noncommittal, I go alone. I actually don't give them too much slack in making up their own mind. If after the first time I ask they are still waffling then I make the decision for them - I'm going alone! I don’t have time for that crap.

I go to the movies solo and, since I have season tix to our AAA club to the A's, I go to many games solo too.

I have a great time and, you are right, the opportunity presents itself to meet someone better!

For example, tomorrow I'm going to go to a Chinese buffet in the afternoon and possibly on the weekend I'm gonna go see this car race in monday, Memorial Day . Haven't decided for Saturday there is a possibility that I'm gonna go fishing or ride around with my motorcycle, maybe even go out to shoot some pools. I'll ask around who wants to come with me, if they play the "i don't know" or "I can't make up my mind" answers... its their loss.

I mean..just don't understand..if you aren't doing anything, and a single guy (who is neither a serial killer, neither a wife beater, neither married, neither has any kids) asks out girl who is also single and don't have anything planned..then what is the problem? I don't think I'm that ugly not to have as a companion, and I doubt that it's better to sit at home or yapping on the phone with friends all night.

I hear ya!

It's just as frustrating on this end too. Guys act like I'm going to trap them by getting pregnant because we share a beer!

Sometimes it's just nice to have a fun date without expectations.

Just keep doing what you are doing. At least you aren’t missing out on life.

It was nice to read this stick to your decision even if someone else does not commit to it or support it. I have had to do this over and over in my life. It really does feel good to follow through and move forward. Lots of opportunities are available every single day and all that we need is all around us anyways. We just do not take notice of it all or fail to seize it at times until we learn and grow more. What we are is the decisions we make for ourselves.

Women like that I just blow off eventually. I can't waste time on indecisive people in general. Then again that's just me.

I'll go! I would if you were anywhere close anyway...and no, you're definitely not ugly...the personality is probably what's killing it for you JK

Yep....just go about living your life and having some fun if they want to tag along great, if not, leave em' behind.

I was supposed to meet this gal for a guided, full moon kayak trip down a local river. The afternoon of the event she hemmed and hawed and finally decided not to go. I went by myself, and yes it was cut short because we got rained on, but it turned out to be quite an adventure and I did meet someone who I should have pursued instead of the gal that was supposed come with me.

That's exactly what I do. And if they do the wishy-washy thing, I rarely ever ask if he's interested in going again in the future.

That said, I also don't ask the guys who do the "poor single me" bit if we do go out. I can understand it. I have no problem with it, but when the guy goes on and on and ON about it, it irritates the crap outta me. One guy, a friend only, even stated how he gets tired of going with his teenage daughters. I mean GEEEEEEEZZZZZ! Nice to know they're real important! Considering how hard it is to get a teen to do anything with family, it's sad when he apparently doesn't enjoy the time spent. Needless to say, we haven't gone out again.

Heck, I usually have a far more interesting time myself.

My doll NEVER turns me down!! (well hardly anyway!!)