Papersmile.....this part of your reply gave me thought about my ex, my love and lover....""""also i find the sadness comes more from the loss of the dream, that we weren't one of the lucky ones who got to stay together forever, than the loss of him specifically. i keep reminding myself of the poor times when i feel sad over it.""""


Is exactly what happened to me...After I left my ex, I was so sad, but over the grieving period, I found the sadness was not for her love, it was for the broken dream......Thanks for the reminder

I find myself doing things and behaving differently with my girlfriend.........and I have wondered if I had done things differently BEFORE I might not have wound up divorced....And she does things for me that I don't remember my ex ever doing.....she might have but I don't remember...........maybe thats part of it..paying more attention to the relationship.

I agree with this....learn from the past!

It's cool.
I kinda regret getting my last ex out of the psych. ward.

A few other posters are right on with their answers. And you even touch on it in your original question. You said if you did something different then you wouldn't be alone, you didn't say if we'd still be with the ex. Sadness and regret after a relationship are natural, just make sure you really know what you are sad for loosing.

I have no regrets about the effort I put into saving my marriage, I know that I did everything a man can do (and gave more leeway than I probably should have). The end result is the same.

What I miss about my ex is having someone here. I miss the companionship, the level of friendship I had. Oddly enough, I do not miss her anymore. Remember one thing, they are an "ex" for a reason. You will have other friends and other relationships. Don't let missing companionship drive you back to someone it already didn't work with.

You gave it your best and it didn't work. I look at it this way. I gave my unconditional love to her, I fought hard to keep her, but in the end it wasn't meant to be. I am okay with that. Even better is the thought that if I was willing and able to love that much and fight that hard for the wrong person... what happens when the right one comes around...

after thinking about this for a few days...i have to agree with you that i think a lot of it is missing just having someone there...having someone to come home to and having that companionship....which i dont have at the moment. And im still just trying to get used to my new place and new town....thanks for all the insight everyone!

All my life false and real, right and wrong tangled.

Playing with the moon, ridiculing the wind, listening to the birds ...

Many years wasted seeing the mountain covered with snow.

This winter I suddenly realize snow makes a mountain.

- Dogen

You could have been crapping gold dubloons and handing it over to the S.O. and he still would not be happy. There are some folks that no matter what you do it would not made a difference.

The only thing I regret about my last relationship is getting into the relationship with the guy in the first place. I somehow got talked into being in a relationship with him... And in the end I was left heartbroken. But with the help from friends and my cats, I got over it.