hindsight

packed my emotions up trailed a sunset
to a place i thought ive known
almost drownd in shallow souls
on the shores of surrender
when my preminitions let me down

ive seen your eyes from so long before
sought similarities but no trace of yours
to you this carried weight
could be something to hold
to me its evident
seek peace as it unfolds

lived by these sheltered demons
sought refuge in a sin
held my heart outside of me
till i acked within
in search of some tomorrow
untainted by the past
to clense myself of sorrow
where the shadows cast

ive seen your eyes from so long before
sought similarities but no trace of yours
to you this carried weight
could be something to hold
to me its always been
seek peace as it unfolds.

i like the overall piece though, i find a slight
contradiction with the word "untainted"
if the subject seeks cleansing, wouldn’t “tainted” be
more appropriate?



just a thought...nothing more



welcome aboard

you know good point, most of my writing comes with a guitar in hand and just kinda spills out i never could lie to myself in it so maybe ive been looking for something "tainted" all this time without realizing it. thanks for the insight.

adding to your poem


the sunset follow down memory lane
through the fields of lost hope
as there is no trace of shattered beganings
as the demons came upon that before
as my heart was torn. from unknown
world that was ment to be
for there had been no peace
that we know, but for now
we must carry on
as my heart will mend in time
as i look back and watch the new found beauty
of nature takes it path, as i
as well taking my new journey
to a new fresh start

i like it might try to use it as an improve addition to the song one day if you dont mind.

Very COOL!!