Take this as friendly advice:

Stop defining yourself as a "single widower". You can’t move on if you don’t remove the label you have blazoned across your forehead.

I am so sorry for your loss but you need to become independent of your loss so you don’t bring that emotional baggage with you to the next relationship.

I obviously don’t know you – but – the small incite you have given us shows you are still burdened.

Heal yourself.

sorry for your loss, you will find her

Ok, well now you are playing a victim.

You asked for input but you are shooting down everyone’s opinion and justifying your actions with generalizations.

You really need to remove these blocks before you can find someone to share your life.

No, I'm a realist. :-) I've been promised both, and it either never happened, or didn't last. I don't want a "bad boy" or a "nice guy" I want a bit of both, and someone who knows how to look at the funny side of things, even if it might not be at the time.

Rather then cuddling in front of a fire, I'd like a man who wants to get outside and help with the garden, the animals, the farm, and enjoy himself/ourselves while doing it, not play a guilt trip, or not do it at all, because he's "tired" after a long day at work, and wants to sit on his butt and do nothing. That's more important than the cuddling in front of the fire, or that bubbly bath.

I think it's way more fun to chase each other around with the hose, laughing our azzes off, as an excuse to cool off after working outside...

Marry me EquusDancer

We may be tired at the end of the day, but I am sure we will have enough energy to chase each other......Hint, I don't run to fast And I am a very good....bad boy.

It will happen in due time. Sorry about your wife.

i'd rather come home and find her drunk and naked

How did you get badboy out of what she said?

Good luck in what you're searching for, though.

Dude...Fifi was just messin with ya, so chill. Okay, now that is out of the way, let's get back to you.

Searching, as you put it, really is a lost cause. Everyone wants to tell you the line of "You will find her", and while this is true, there needs to be more of a definition to what is being said here.

Take this as my opinion and belief, and do with it as you will. But, my feeling is that we don't "find" love when we go into this searching mode. Wanna know why? Because we are trying so hard to find a person to love that we get so caught up in it. When it becomes an exhausting search and the results don't come out how we want them, we lose hope. You see, I feel we need to live our everyday lives, and that we cannot become so wrapped up in finding love. Love happens at the times when you least expect it. First time I fell in love was years ago when (on the school bus) this girl turned knocked my arm off the top of the seat. It was a little innocent act to get my attention, and it worked. I wasn't looking for a girl back then, but because of her action, I found her. In fact, I ended up marrying that girl, and while (in the end) we did divorce I never regretted anything. I can always look back and laugh at how we met. But you see, it is those kind of moments that you never see coming that just 'Wow" you. And, that is the kind of moment that I want to happen again.

When you are so hard pressed and determined to find someone, you develop tunnel vision. You take a girl out on a date, and immediately you begin to critique and analyze her as a potential love mate. I feel this is ridiculous and it makes you more of an interrogator than a date. Go out, enjoy dating, and when you find someone that peaks your interest, just keep getting to know her. I don't know if I have made sense, but anyways, I wish you the best of luck.

Welcome

LMAO! Always good to know.