tell something funny or embarrassing about yourself

*no insults or attacks allowed, but feel free to point and laugh at people*

I can touch my tongue to my nose

I can wiggle my ears, even one at a time (no hands allowed).

*Points and laughs*

I can touch my forehead with my tongue...interested women may email me here

when i walk and my thighs rub together, the noise they make sounds like 'ruby tuesday'.

I can turn my eyelids inside out

my tounge goes to the middle of my nose(it's disgusting really)

I can fart on command

I snort when I laugh.......hahaha(snort)......

I'm double jointed

chizz. I'm weird!!!

I can ring a door bell with my hands tied behind my back from a foot away!!! O K its with my nose!!

I can talk like Donald Duck and make noises like a monkey.

I can do that too...usually during sex

I fart rainbows

I have been playing pool since I was young. I even have my own table and consider myself pretty good. I was playing at a pizza joint and this little 13 year old girl comes back with her Dad and puts quarters on the table. I think I got 3 shots in 2 games. Just kicked my azz. She shakes my hand afterwards, looks me in the eye and tells me that I am pretty good. Maybe I just need to practice more...

If I have enough beer, I can pee longer than 2 minutes. I'm serious.

I can fart Dixie.

Went into a bar and told the bartender I didn't have any money but, if he gave me a pitcher of beer, I'd fart Dixie for him.

He said cool and gave me the pitcher.

I drank it dow, got up on the bar and dropped my drawers.

I strained really hard and wound up chittin'.

The old bartender was shocked and pisst!

He said," Lokk at the mess you made! You chit on my bar, on the stools and all over the mirror. Wut th' hell you got to say for yourself?"

I told him," Even Liberace has to clear his throat before he sings."

my grandmother used to do that when we were young. Thanks for the memory

When I try to think about how television works, I get a headache.

I get a headache when I try to do crossword puzzles at work. I never have a clue as to what the words are, but I still sneak in the chem lab and look at the puzzles as if I know what the hell the clues mean. I always end up walking out of there rubbing my head.

I had no idea crossword puzzles were that much of a turn-on. I'll have to check into that. Thanks for the head-up!