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Topic: Life as I see it...
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Sat 05/15/10 06:16 AM

So I have been doing a lot of thinking, finding myself..that sort of stuff lately..why not post it here?
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I'll start this off by saying I was very naive and almost unaware of the world around me until about six months ago. Up until that point everything had been so...stable, and structured. You go to school, you have your summer vacations, you worry if your cool or not, and at night when lying in bed you can actually fall asleep. I'm not sure if I miss those times, or if my new found apathy and judgment is just starting to take effect?

Like I said everything was as it had always been, up until 6 months ago. I was 20 years old I had been with the same girl for four years...i/5 of my current life hehe. So yeah, it was a big deal. This is were things begin to come crashing down. She left me on Christmas eve of 2009...for no apparent reason...(we will leave it at that this isn't about her). So I started to have really bad anxiety, not only did the marriage die, but the future I has always imagined as well. I began to feel myself crack at the seams...I once thought I was a concrete wall, unstoppable and unbreakable. Life now seemed like a candle, or a fragile piece of glass.

I began to wonder many things at that point, why are we here, whats my purpose, what am I going to do now? Sure I had wondered these things before...but never to this depth. I remember looking at myself in the mirror..and just being amazed that I'm human! Everything is so complex, but can be so simple at the same time. It can end in a second without warning, or continue till time takes hold of you.

After six months of these radical new thoughts and "self-awareness" I feel like a different person in some ways. apparently this is part of getting older, you may be similar but you not the same person you were when you were 20, 30, 40, 100. So to end this wall of text (sorry!) I guess I just want to say I think I'm just now "waking up", and I'm excited to see what unfolds, into this unknown,terrifying, beautiful world we live in.


Was it Thoreau who penned the lines about the mass of men leading lives of quiet desperation? There’s a lot more to that line than I’ve understood since I first read it. And it strikes me, in recalling my own experience, that I’ve been in that state of mind a lot of times in the past.

The things we do not learn are things we’re doomed to repeating. And that’s another line I suddenly remember too. And then there’s another which says “the unexamined life is not worth living”. Each one of them is a mouthful, I say. But it sums up our personal quandaries pretty well, I think.

Human thought has a tendency to clamp down on things which bring pain; to choose a point of remembrance to quit examining the thing further, to choose to disbelieve that healing can possibly come from undergoing further mental anguish.

That is how cancer progresses, I think. Hiding knots of poisonous despair inside ourselves that, over time, eventually spread to literally kill us.

Am I making sense? :)

We make mistakes with people most of the time. And it’s good if it happens and we find out early that the other person’s not really into us like we’d like, and good riddance and thank God this didn’t happen well until we’re married and had kids already. Think about all that happening to people when it’s too late already, and you’ll find yourself thankful.

That girl you were with doesn’t know what she wants. At some point in the future, she’ll get tired of what she thinks she has now and will try to beg a cuddle from you. You’d better watch that if it happens, because if you’re not strong enough, you’ll just find yourself repeating the same mistake.

You take care. Seek joy within. Let it look out of you, like the way you looked at the world below you at the top of that mountain you climbed. You don’t really need anybody special at this point in your life; leastways, somebody whose immaturity would only clutter your view. Luxuriate in what you do, that not a thousand people has been able to achieve. Love yourself a little bit more today than yesterday; it’s like yoga, you know, it takes practice. You’ll find you’ll be better soon. Good luck! :)

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Sat 05/15/10 02:03 PM
Nice thread. I got a few chuckles too.

I am 60 years old and I look back on my life and realize (and admit) that I was in a fog most of the time. Yes we do have awakenings! These are points in our lives when we just realize things or wonder things and learn things.

You came out of a fog. Its called a change of consciousness. I've come out of so many fogs I tend to wonder if I'm still in one. Is there more clarity to be had? I'm sure there is.

Onward and upward. drinker


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Sat 05/15/10 07:11 PM
Onward and upward.

In other words, be ready for many more heart-breaks!!! (unless you're careful)

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Sat 05/15/10 07:47 PM

Onward and upward.

In other words, be ready for many more heart-breaks!!! (unless you're careful)


On the contrary that is NOT what I meant by onward and upward.

I mean that we go forward, and we awaken more and more with each lesson we learn.

Your heart is only broken when you expect things of people that they don't deliver and your expectations are not met.

If your spouse or girlfriend or boyfriend breaks up with you, its because they want something else. Sorry. That's just the way it is.
If you care about them for real, you will give them your blessings and wish them the best.

Instead, people tend to go into shock and feel sorry for themselves for what they have lost. They had a dream and the person they had placed in that dream left. News flash, replace them with someone else! You can have your dream, just find someone who shares the same dream. But you will have to learn to COMMUNICATE AND BE HONEST.

Stop pretending. Stop playing games.

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Sat 05/15/10 11:26 PM


Onward and upward.

In other words, be ready for many more heart-breaks!!! (unless you're careful)


On the contrary that is NOT what I meant by onward and upward.

But of course, I comprehend what you meant.
I was just trying to translate that into the sarcastic language that's more comrehensible to a young fellow who's suffered the first heartbreak (i.e. "Don't worry, the worst is yet to come!") laugh

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Sun 05/16/10 08:18 AM



Onward and upward.

In other words, be ready for many more heart-breaks!!! (unless you're careful)


On the contrary that is NOT what I meant by onward and upward.

But of course, I comprehend what you meant.
I was just trying to translate that into the sarcastic language that's more comrehensible to a young fellow who's suffered the first heartbreak (i.e. "Don't worry, the worst is yet to come!") laugh


I would expect nothing less from you. You are the sarcastic one. LOL laugh laugh :tongue: drinker

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Sun 05/16/10 11:27 PM
Yeah, I admit I am. And I find the sarcazm as one of the most healthy attitude to adopt -- especially when dealing with a buch of Morrons! That's like LAUGHING THROUGH TEARS! (contrary to Crying from Laughter)

At the beginning, I used to get offended by various mediocre people in here, and would let them know in no umbiguous terms what I think about them. As a result, I've been suspended quite a few times. (remember Handlewithcaution?)
So, I've learned my lesson, in addition to learning the acceptable ways of affending the morrons who ask for it.

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Mon 05/17/10 08:20 AM
Edited by Jeanniebean on Mon 05/17/10 08:20 AM
I went through a long stage in my life where sarcasm was my way of fighting back. I think I have learned to calm my inner workings a bit more and accept people for what they chose to be, -- knowing how the law of Karma and the law of attraction works.

My X-spouse used to react to people with physical violence. (Put a whooping on there ***.) I once asked him why he did not just let Karma take care of them, and he stated that the karma buck stopped at his fist. He was one of the "lords of karma." He was one of the 'effects' of the cause and effect law. LOL I had to agree. (or else.) laugh laugh

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Tue 05/18/10 09:10 PM
I could never imagine you being attracted to the physical man!

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