Bite me Kristi

All I've figured out is, that
- when I sleep in a fetal position, it means I'm on the shorter couch.
- when I sleep on my back, with my head thrown back, it means any person I am near will NOT be sleeping any longer.
- if I sleep on my stomach, I can smell the cushions too much.
- if I sleep at someone else's house, it means I'm doing much better than last year, unless it's a relative's house, in which case it means the opposite.
- if I sleep with the covers over my head, it means either it's very cold, or the cat is bothering me for food at 2am again, or both.

Strangely, despite my clarity about all this, none of the professional scientific organizations that interview people in order to CREATE those articles about "how your sleep position tells you where you left your car keys" has EVER contacted me. Truly disturbing!