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| Topic: The Sex Workout | |
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Edited by
uk1971
on
Fri 04/30/10 04:37 PM
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Having sex is yet another great past time for burning up those unwanted fat producing calories...
REMOVING CLOTHES With partner's consent... 12 calories Without partner's consent... 187 calories UNHOOKING BRA Using two calm hands... 7 calories Using one trembling hand... 36 calories Using teeth...50 calories and an embarassing visit to the dentists GETTING INTO BED Lifting partner... 1.5 calories Dragging partner along floor... 16 calories Using skateboard... 3 calories ACHIEVING ERECTIONS For normal healthy man... 2.5 calories Losing erection... 14 calories Searching for it... 115 calories PUTTING ON CONDOM With erection... 1.5 calories Without erection... 300 calories INSERTING DIAPHRAGM If the woman who does it is: Experienced... 6 calories Inexperienced... 73 calories If a man does it... 650 calories Add five calories for retrieving it from across the room. POSSIBLE INTERCOURSE SIDE EFFECTS Bouncing... 7 calories Sliding around... 9 calories Serious skidding... 12 calories Whiplash... 27 calories ORGASM Real... 27 calories Faked... 160 calories ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE Shoes flew off... 35 calories Expression didn't change... 0.5 calories Orchestra swelled... 6 calories Birds sang: Large birds... 7 calories Small birds... 3 calories Earth moved... 30 calories PULLING OUT After orgasm... 0.5 calories A few moments before orgasm... 500 calories PENIS ENVY For woman... 3 calories For men... 72 calories GUILT Banging your boss for a promotion... 30 calories Sex during a 'sickie'... 10 calories Bonking each other with parents in other room... 7 calories Putting it on your expense account... 9 calories AGGRAVATION Partner keeps showing plant... 5 calories Partner insists on dog cuddling during foreplay... 14 calories Partner just visited bathroom for 7th time... 10 calories Partner is taking phone calls... 7 calories Partner is making phone calls... 40 calories GETTING CAUGHT By partner's spouse... 60 calories By your spouse... 100 calories Trying to explain... 55 calories Trying to remain calm... 100 calories Leaping out of bed... 75 calories Getting dressed in one motion... 500 calories  
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 choose randomly and do that 3x a week will beat the visit to the gym.
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