Done odd-job construction with dad here, so I know what he's talking about.

House is getting repainted this year, so I really know it

But Atlantis, are you limiting yourself to your area, and ignoring those farther away?

People only truly change when THEY want to. Some might change just to please someone, but it would be fake if they didn't really want to change themselves.

Ok,,First let me say. We our ALL creatures of our own habits.
WE can "THINK" we can change them,,BUT we CAN'T...yet, WE TRY TO?
Good foundations here, have ALL been damaged, at one time or another.
SO NOW,,depending on the individual's degree of FIXING that original
damage...Then,,as THAT SHOULD be in their pasts..we move on.
Our fundamental perceptions of our selves, and what we look for in another,,will NOW be BASED on what WE HAVE ALREADY EXPERIENCED THROUGH OUR LIVES PAST..WE "DON'T WANT "THAT" AGAIN!
So as we THINK we are above finding someone who might be as THAT SAME
TYPE we have already met or known,,,we SEARCH NOW,,with our NEW IDEAS
of what to ask for, and what we NOW wish to find in them...

BUT we STILL KEEP OUR HABITS OF PERCEPTIONS,,,,so we still will
find someone BETTER in our minds,,as to THEM,,,,because our inner ability to remove (OUR BEING) from thinking in the wrong fashion, will still be THAT JUDGE of THEM...

So as we TRY to fool our selves about really BEING DIFFERENT AND FIXED,,,we still have no concept that WE REMAINED THE SAME PERSON.

BECAUSE WE CANNOT CHANGE THAT HUMAN BEING INSIDE US.
So the ones who really have new perspectives into their minds and view of others,,,move on,,forever seaching for ALL that they feel they HAVE-TO-HAVE-NOW,,,and refuse to settle for LESS...

IN LIFE'S END,,,WE ALL SETTLE! Because we have to HIGH a PEDESTAL for the one we seek to REALLY BE ON, based on the TIME WE HAVE to give them an opportunity to be met.




OK,,,now where were we??

Ohhhhhhhh, finding someone, or someone finding US?,,,wink.

The only mindset YOU can change is YOUR OWN. People are as brave, cowardly, adventurous, hesitant, etc, as they will ever be by age 8...12 at the latest, in most cases. If the females you want to change are over the age of 12, you'd better give up. If they are under 12, you'd better move to Japan.

Actually people do change, just never for someone else, they have to be doing it because they want to for themselves by themselves with noone pushing from the outside.

Dating wise best be looking for what you want from the beginning and be willing to compromise a few insignificant things to find that someone who fits.

Agreed - they don't change because you want them to, but they can change if they want to for themselves.

Probably the truest thing ever written.

I agree

But.........if I have to be something that I'm not then I would rather stay single..........


^ this

Exactly. Which is why I've come to the conclusion that it's better to be alone and oneself than to be with someone and be their domesticated cardboard cutout farm animal.

I think that's why eHarmony told me I was unmatchable. Well, that, and about 1893 other reasons.