Meow!!!

Oh, it's my little jlove pumpkin so far away! Miss you even tho I've never met you. I so wish you were coming to our party Sat nt in the OC! Tell you what, honey. We'll make plans and I'll fly out and we'll go to the big city! What do you say?!

I'm game anytime! We would have a riot, Fifi!

Ok, maybe next fall. We will plans, secret plans, world-shaking plans!!! Or at least go shopping.

Okay, lets make that a rule. From now on greetings will be conducted from here on by gentle stroking of the other person's inner thigh. All partings shall be done with a gentle squeeze on the other person's butt cheek.

Where do you live again????

I think nudges from strangers are creepy, I think being added to a favorites' list by someone I've never talked to is weird, I reject friend requests from people I don't know, and unless I know the person from the forums, or they have a non-personal question, I don't answer emails.

So you had a good idea- posting in the forums to get yourself known. I wish you luck.

Terry is my best friend here and in the real world.....u the best..xoxoxo

did he just say shopping.....?????on u right?????ur in trouble now....u take one , u have to take all....

saying....hi!!

I am really pretty old fashioned and for me to make the very first move is really pretty rare. If someone does not respond to one of my forum posts, views me, nudge me, emails me, or at the very least show up on my mutual match it is unlikely I will approach them. Anything I get that is offensive or too agressive gets people blocked. or ignored. Someone under fifty trying to flirt with me comes off as deviant or attention seeking. Especially if their profile says next to nothing.

Generally speaking I will ignore and uninvited IM. Sending me a phone number is or a note saying "anything you want to know just ask me' gets ignored as too lazy or dumb to bother with.

Depends on what mood I am in. Occassionally if I am feeling fun I might crack a joke about something humorous in their profile.

Most often I just mention a mutual interest and or pay a polite compliment.

If a holiday is near I may wish them a happy holiday or send a birthday greeting.

Then if they answer back I figure they are vaguely interested and I might ask a couple questions related to and interest or where they live.

Because I tend to read a lot of profiles, get a lot of mutual matches, and a lot of views because I don't use stealth and I post in formums a lot I get quite a few emails. Unless rude I will answer most.

If someone actually interests me I may note them as a favorite and watch for their remarks in forums to get to know them better before I make any contact. I figure I can always drop them from favorites if I loose interest.

Rarely I will note someone as favorite to refer someone I have talked to that I generally like but might not be a good match for me personally. Keeping in mind that I am older than many on Mingle.

I don't do the friends list thing. If I have not met someone and that usually does not happen if we haven't chatted extensively they are generally just what I would consider a acquaintence. Mingle Land is so expansive and long distance dateing so difficult I don't pursue it. If I publiclly introduce someone as my friend that means I know them pretty well and it is a serious genuine endorsement. To me to call some one a friend is somewhat of a promise to be a friend fair weather or foul.

Most of my dateing life or personal friendships I keep private. I would never post a testimonial about someone without their express permission anyway. I also don't see me saying I consider them my friend as that hugely important and endorsement. lol For most it would be like having your Mom say you were a good kid. Anyway I am of the old school that says if you can't say something nice about some one hush.

Being a retired social worker I got so used to having to keep confidentiality that it was really kind of a habit not to say how I know people.

hi joannaa, how are you doing?

Just out of curiosity, OP, which college do you go to and where did you move from?

I tried to make the first move one time since my divorce. I guess I am out of practice.
Me - Hey baby you are looking fine tonight. I saw you wink at me.
Her - I was having a problem with my contact lens.
Me - Well could I buy you a drink?
Her - You can buy me a drink if you leave me alone.
Me - But baby

Next thing I know she breaks out the pepper spray and that chit hurts. Not worth it...........

I never initiate anything anymore. Tried sending out some e-mails back when I first signed up, and never got a response. So I stopped.

What I found was that, after being here for awhile, posting a lot, and getting known in the forums, people would contact me. So I'm OK with that arrangement.

I would say all the above if your really interested in the person.

Go get her BOY!

Boy, you sure must be popular.

Hilarious

It's surprising how many people have contacted me here -- but, like I said, it took awhile.

I think people have to get some sense of who you are and what you're about before they feel OK about writing....

And when you've been here for years and years, they have plenty of time to get to know you!

Everyone has their own style. Whatever works is cool. For myself, I believe emails are the best way to go. I ignore nudges from strangers, and keep my IM turned off. I received a very disturbing, sexual email from a stranger last night, reported it, and it was taken care of immediately. I also choose my friends very carefully and have found that most people on here are good hearted people. Most importantly, the forums are the best way to get to know individuals better, in my opinion.

The "first move" can be made by the man, or the woman. It really doesn't matter. Good luck to all of you on your quest!