Topic: is it supposed to be this tough??? | |
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I knew that after my divorce I would need some time, and definitely want some time before even thinking about dating again. Three years later, after very few dates, I guess mostly because of my own personal prefereences and shyness, I have yet to meet but one quality person. I really didn't think with all the lonely people out there, it would justly take this long. I have discovered that women, unfortunately, just like men, are very particular about looks more than personality. Does anyone look at a picture, of a person, maybe just someone in the grocery store or here on this site, and think to themselves "wow, he /she isn't a 10, but they seem to be having fun and might be great to get to now---what can it hurt". So I ask you, am I wrong? Is it supposed to be this tough? Can anyone just get past the looks and find out what else lies beneath. I understand that most of the time, its looks that attract and bring us into wanting to know a person---after all, its the very first impression and no one knows anything about another person until they spend time together....but seriously, is there another way I am missing? Last thought----whats wrong with me? Reality self-imposed is that I am not a 10, hell I'd be lucky to be a 7, but there is just so much more, and no one gives that chance. Any comments are welcome! Good luck to all. You're doing it wrong. I killed it. Biotch!!! You're just figuring that out? I've been one for some time now.... |
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I knew that after my divorce I would need some time, and definitely want some time before even thinking about dating again. Three years later, after very few dates, I guess mostly because of my own personal prefereences and shyness, I have yet to meet but one quality person. I really didn't think with all the lonely people out there, it would justly take this long. I have discovered that women, unfortunately, just like men, are very particular about looks more than personality. Does anyone look at a picture, of a person, maybe just someone in the grocery store or here on this site, and think to themselves "wow, he /she isn't a 10, but they seem to be having fun and might be great to get to now---what can it hurt". So I ask you, am I wrong? Is it supposed to be this tough? Can anyone just get past the looks and find out what else lies beneath. I understand that most of the time, its looks that attract and bring us into wanting to know a person---after all, its the very first impression and no one knows anything about another person until they spend time together....but seriously, is there another way I am missing? Last thought----whats wrong with me? Reality self-imposed is that I am not a 10, hell I'd be lucky to be a 7, but there is just so much more, and no one gives that chance. Any comments are welcome! Good luck to all. You're doing it wrong. I killed it. Biotch!!! You're just figuring that out? I've been one for some time now.... |
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I knew that after my divorce I would need some time, and definitely want some time before even thinking about dating again. Three years later, after very few dates, I guess mostly because of my own personal prefereences and shyness, I have yet to meet but one quality person. I really didn't think with all the lonely people out there, it would justly take this long. I have discovered that women, unfortunately, just like men, are very particular about looks more than personality. Does anyone look at a picture, of a person, maybe just someone in the grocery store or here on this site, and think to themselves "wow, he /she isn't a 10, but they seem to be having fun and might be great to get to now---what can it hurt". So I ask you, am I wrong? Is it supposed to be this tough? Can anyone just get past the looks and find out what else lies beneath. I understand that most of the time, its looks that attract and bring us into wanting to know a person---after all, its the very first impression and no one knows anything about another person until they spend time together....but seriously, is there another way I am missing? Last thought----whats wrong with me? Reality self-imposed is that I am not a 10, hell I'd be lucky to be a 7, but there is just so much more, and no one gives that chance. Any comments are welcome! Good luck to all. You're doing it wrong. I killed it. Biotch!!! You're just figuring that out? I've been one for some time now.... Now I'm starting to question your knowledge as an attorney.... |
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I knew that after my divorce I would need some time, and definitely want some time before even thinking about dating again. Three years later, after very few dates, I guess mostly because of my own personal prefereences and shyness, I have yet to meet but one quality person. I really didn't think with all the lonely people out there, it would justly take this long. I have discovered that women, unfortunately, just like men, are very particular about looks more than personality. Does anyone look at a picture, of a person, maybe just someone in the grocery store or here on this site, and think to themselves "wow, he /she isn't a 10, but they seem to be having fun and might be great to get to now---what can it hurt". So I ask you, am I wrong? Is it supposed to be this tough? Can anyone just get past the looks and find out what else lies beneath. I understand that most of the time, its looks that attract and bring us into wanting to know a person---after all, its the very first impression and no one knows anything about another person until they spend time together....but seriously, is there another way I am missing? Last thought----whats wrong with me? Reality self-imposed is that I am not a 10, hell I'd be lucky to be a 7, but there is just so much more, and no one gives that chance. Any comments are welcome! Good luck to all. You're doing it wrong. I killed it. Biotch!!! You're just figuring that out? I've been one for some time now.... Now I'm starting to question your knowledge as an attorney.... |
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I knew that after my divorce I would need some time, and definitely want some time before even thinking about dating again. Three years later, after very few dates, I guess mostly because of my own personal prefereences and shyness, I have yet to meet but one quality person. I really didn't think with all the lonely people out there, it would justly take this long. I have discovered that women, unfortunately, just like men, are very particular about looks more than personality. Does anyone look at a picture, of a person, maybe just someone in the grocery store or here on this site, and think to themselves "wow, he /she isn't a 10, but they seem to be having fun and might be great to get to now---what can it hurt". So I ask you, am I wrong? Is it supposed to be this tough? Can anyone just get past the looks and find out what else lies beneath. I understand that most of the time, its looks that attract and bring us into wanting to know a person---after all, its the very first impression and no one knows anything about another person until they spend time together....but seriously, is there another way I am missing? Last thought----whats wrong with me? Reality self-imposed is that I am not a 10, hell I'd be lucky to be a 7, but there is just so much more, and no one gives that chance. Any comments are welcome! Good luck to all. You're doing it wrong. I killed it. Biotch!!! You're just figuring that out? I've been one for some time now.... Now I'm starting to question your knowledge as an attorney.... Ah yes, Fear and his golden tongue, er, golden pen, sorry, my mind wandered for a second there.... |
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and here I thought nobody even read these posts!!! LMAO thanks for all the input, and a couple of you made great points in your replies. As I say, good luck to all. At least I now have confirmed, I'm not the only one out there wondering WTF
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Oh come ON ... three years ... ? I did that standing on my head. Look, the overall tone of your question is kinda whiny and 'poor me'. With that kinda attitude, you are definitely not givin' off positivity that any babe train is gonna pick up on. In short, you are NOT making yourself the ride all the girls WANT to ride. You have a big sign out that says you want THEM to be the ride - or, worse, you're advertising that you're looking for ... (wait for it) ... 'sympathy' and ... (worse) ... 'understanding'.
'Dating' today - and I don't care if it's someone you met 'online' or in 'real life' - is still like a variant of 'speed dating' ... people make snap judgements in the first 30 seconds after they sit down for coffee. That's ALL the time you got to make a favorable impression. How far you think clammy palms and a sweaty forehead are gonna go toward winnin' the hawt of yon fair maiden? Not. Very. If you want to bump up your 'favorabiity' rating, grow a set and display some confidence. It don't hurt to be a bit 'cocky' (so to speak) in a humorous sort of way. Lighten up on the 'serious' stuff, too, 'mkay? Nobody cares. No time. Maybe after a relationship is 'in progress' you can bring up the stuff from your emotional baggage room, but trust me, even once you think you have it licked (to use a term), diggin' around in your torture chamber of emotional distress will send 'em packing real quick. In short: Quit whining. Be positive. Man up. Be cocky. Have a bit of a 'tude. Nobody wants to hang out with a whinybaby. Realize that life goes on after divorce. You were hurt? Oh. How unusual. We've all been hurt. Shut up and move on. Nothing to see here, folks ... move along ... |
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If you want to bump up your 'favorabiity' rating, grow a set and display some confidence. It don't hurt to be a bit 'cocky' (so to speak) in a humorous sort of way. Well, that doesn't work at all. I tried that. I even took it up a notch, to Arrogant Narcissistic Conceited Jerk level, and that didn't help. All I've got left is Reclusive Self-Absorbed Author, and nobody wants one of those, either....! |
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Well it took me 14 years to find the right man. When I stopped looking he found me.
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If you want to bump up your 'favorabiity' rating, grow a set and display some confidence. It don't hurt to be a bit 'cocky' (so to speak) in a humorous sort of way. Well, that doesn't work at all. I tried that. I even took it up a notch, to Arrogant Narcissistic Conceited Jerk level, and that didn't help. All I've got left is Reclusive Self-Absorbed Author, and nobody wants one of those, either....! Well, there y' go, then ... where was the HUMOR ... ? Girls like a laff, y' know ... 'serious' is a killer ... |
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