<------6'2" 220lbs. climb on posse i'll take everyone of you over the
goal line ,,,very broad shoulders here

i did mention that this is a real crowd and when someone can't get a
word in edge wise or feels ignored ,,,well ,,,they'll just sit quiet
,,or get mad,,,neither is good and all should be heard and acknowledged
..except if you find it worthless and no one should feel they must
respond because of someone else

Now it's pretty clear why everyone is leaving

I'm talking via satellite site by telephone, but Morena, Fine, Lex,
Bored, Soroity, Big, Marie, Adj:

I started a thread today because of two members deactivating. Those
members were my friends here for almost as long as I have been here.
Attacks came down in it. Now it is gone. There was so much love and
compassion shown in it for Poet and Karma but now it is gone, taken from
us and taken from them because of a couple of people's disrespect on my
thread which in essence was a love thread and friendship thread to two
beautiful people.

When people say here that we take this or that too serious, I say to
them, we on this site have to take a lot of small serious very serious
because this site here Justsayhi is not just a video game or cyber or
the net. This is a site where real people with all of their beauty,
love, and handicaps are behind the screen to see someone's insults and
feel the hurt inside them.

We on this site who some might feel try to control the site you can (YOU
BETCHA) because all of us long members came to this site in its birth.
This site that you have all come to, all of us including me, the old
members have helped make and form this site the way the forums are
displayed, the way the pages are, the topics that are in the forums,
were all made by our old member suggestions to Van and Mike.

This place Justsayhi I have called my home because of the embodiment of
friends, support, welfare, of all members here. We, the old members are
not going to just run away and let the site become what some people
easily call cyber or the net, another play place.

Whenever words are used like retarded, fat, skinny, toothless, bald,
midget, etc., all of these words can and will affect one of the many
members at Justsayhi. I try very hard never to use these references out
of respect for the members that possibly could be offended.

This site was made by Van, helped run by Mike, and made the place that
it is through us in its birth here. We don't want to lose our baby.
Everybody here is welcomed graciously, not caring where they are from,
what color they are, what language they speak, or any handicaps they may
have and it will stay that way as long as I have a breath in me or
fingers to type with.

Peace, Love, and Be Real. This idea so simple, so discrete has brought
friends together and kept the site to be a place where everyone feels
welcomed and enjoys the company of good people. So with my book being
written, this is my truth. This is my reasoning. This is my life on
Justsayhi.

Can we now look over small indifferences and unite together as
friends and family of a beautiful place to go to to relax and have fun
and maybe even learn life from each other and feel compassion for
everyone.

i agree too ,,,,,

Me too.

marie, nice to see you

big brother from another mother,,Im glad your here

Hey I made the site too!

I wondered about that Mike, did he put his foot in his mouth on this
one???


Hi Morena, how are you tonight??

yes mike,, you guys rawk,,,and this site still the best

I second that Morena.

I especially like the way they respond to the issues, like underage kids
on here, and offensive pictures.

Thanks Mike and Van for keeping this place a nice place to be.

You're very welcome! Glad you guys are enjoying the site. And iam4u,
I'm just teasing ya

HEY !! MIKE !! this is












AN EXCELLENT SITE !!AWESOME JOB !! BOTH you AND VANCAU
You guys have no control over people and their manners or lack of
manners ,, you've done a very good job !you can set the rules , and hope
,

Terry -- I saw the post you referred to, and I responded to it, because
there were a couple of points that I thought needed to be made.

First of all, I was sorry to see those people leave, too. I liked both
of them, I enjoyed their postings, and, although I do not know them as
well as you do, I do recognize the length and depth of their
contributions to JSH. I don't want to minimize that in any way.

As to their being attacked (i.e., your mentions of their being called
"fat" and "bald," etc.), I don't know anything about that, because I did
not see those posts. I would consider any such remarks, toward ANYONE
on the site, inappropriate and worthy of suspension or banning.

My point, though, is that they left voluntarily. I am not saying they
had no reason to leave (I can understand not wanting to stick around to
be insulted), I am just saying that it was a choice they made. They are
both adults and certainly have the right to make that choice, just as
they hopefully will make the choice to come back.

My concern was that there were some on the group who seemed to be
pointing a very wide finger at the "newbies" as the source of the
problem. Maybe I misread the comments; if so, I am certainly not the
only one who did so -- I have heard from a number of others who
interpreted the posts the same way I did.

Be that as it may, I have to admit that I have no idea who made the
attacks you referred to in your post. I doubt, however, that it was a
huge number of "newbies." So, I thought it inappropriate for anyone to
paint with such a broad brush.

The problem that I saw developing in the aftermath was, as usual, the
same problem that develops any time an "old-timer" decides he/she likes
the group less now than he/she did x number of months ago -- i.e., it's
"somebody's" fault.

I think it is unfair and unrealistic to expect JSH to remain static and
unchanging simply to suit the whims of any one member, or any one group
of members. I won't get into the details, as I posted them in your
other thread, but suffice it to say that the group must grow and change
if it is to remain of viable use to the larger number of members. This
is true of any website (or any organization that expects to progress in
any meaningful way) and I believe this concept is self-explanatory
enough that there is no reason to belabor the issue.

Now I see some of the "old guard" taking it upon themselves to
determine, for one and all, what should or should not be posted here.
This strikes me as exceedingly arrogant -- in what way has JSH become a
propietary organ of a handful of members?

I saw nothing when I signed up about JSH being a dictatorship where
members could, on the basis of seniority alone, make decisons for the
site as a whole, entirely apart from anything Mike & VC might have to
say about this!

Terry, what I am saying here ( -- and please understand, this is not
directed at you personally, because I have NEVER seen you engage in this
sort of behavior -- you have been nothing but SUPPORTIVE since I got
here, and have done nothing other than your best to make the site better
and more functional, and I have the utmost respect for you -- ) is that
we have a few here who apparently feel a need to make the newbies into
some sort of "scapegoat" for whatever problems (real or imagined) exist
on the site.

I feel this is unfair, because the vast majority of the newcomers are
simply trying to enjoy JSH, EXACTLY the way the old-timers did when they
first arrived.

There's an inherent hypocrisy here that I find disturbing.

Seniority is worthy of respect. It is not, however, an entitlement, it
does not give the "seniors" the right to run things as they see fit, to
the exclusion of the wishes and welfare of newer members. I would
suggest that a certain amount of the schism between the groups results
from the fact that some newbies DO feel excluded and ignored, even when
they make an effort to participate. There have certainly been postings
to that effect.

All I'm saying is that this problem is not one-sided. It can be
resolved, but it will require the cooperation of those who, up till now,
have regarded the newcomers as "second-class" citizens."

And the first step in that direction is to stop blaming an entire group
for the misguided and idiotic actions of a very few. If a new person
attacks someone (and, yes, I have seen it happen), let's report him or
her, and let Mike & VC deal with it.

To blame all newcomers for one person's stupidity is unfair and totally
inappropriate.

Terry, I believe, as you do, that JSH works best when we all work
together to promote a caring, family atmosphere here. That SHOULD be
what the site is, for everyone -- a friendly place to go and talk with
friends, maybe to look for that "special one," to laugh and read a poem
and try to help each other with problems.

But we have some who preach "unity" and "family" while their actions are
inconsistent with their words.

I would like to see the people you mentioned return. I think they have
a lot to contribute to JSH. If they do, I would hope that the JSH they
return to is a little more open and honest, a little bit less
hypocritical and less inclined toward accusatory finger-pointing.

There will always be those who attack. Our best strategy, rather than
fighting amongst ourselves whenever this happens, is to stand up to the
attackers as a unified community. Is that really so hard for people to
understand?

OMG ..typo .SOOORRRYY.VANCHAU ...please forgive the Canadian Basket
case , she means no harm ,,

Hey Mike!! you writing in invisible ink too!!

MIKE, sorry man I didn't mean to leave you out of
that Mike, your concept too and work.

Lex, I agree with everything that you said with the exception of
referring to new and old members. The term "newbie," needs to be only
be illustrated at the top of the main page forum as a welcome thread to
the newbies meaning new members.

There are a lot of misconceptions here but not with just long term
members but also some of the new members. When we were overwhelmed by a
large group of new members was about the time that I had to leave here
to go on the road to work through the week and unfortunately most of the
regulars were not here posting very much, to help guide new members on
how we were here as a group and functioned with respect and integrity.

So as new members arrived daily from then to now they have come on to
post pretty much doing and acting in any way that they want to with no
real helpful guidance of wrongs and rights or offensive or defensive?

And this is why I have asked Van and Mike if there could be an
ongoing presence of monitors to be able to stop bad actions when they
first start.

My thread to show Poet and Karma the love and friendship that they have
here was put in a trash can because of only a few people's acts. I am
not happy with that because of all of the love showed to them is now
also in the trash and they don't even know because it is gone. We are
all adults and this is a friend's and singles dating site. I am here
because it was a great place of refuge and I am still here because I
believe in the good of all of its members, new and old and yet to be
called new, but no place can be run solely by forums and postings.

It takes good people with good thoughts and respect for each other to
continue to make it grow. We may change in numbers here but as long as
I am a member, we will not change as a whole on the harmony of good
against bad, respect against disrespect and always showing compassion
for someone who needs it. If we could all TRY to carry ourselves in
this manner, the harmony and tranquility of JSH will always be here and
never DIE!!!

We don't have to all be anything, we don't have to all same. We don't
have to all believe in God, but we do all have to respect each other and
act as the adults that we are.

If anybody doesn't want to do that then maybe this place here isn't
right for them because hate breeds hate and love breeds love and I love
it here and who am I? I am only a mere member like yourselves but I
like to think that in respect and compassion I am only a reflection of
you the members here.