another thread made me think of this and curious of the answers....

is it emotional abuse if you don't let it effect you?

sorry it's late and my brain is on over load lol

Disclaimer....This topic is not based on personal experience. It is a topic for discussion only

I just wanted to add this

I think it affects you, but it's more how you show it. Some people are strong enough not to let it show physically to others.

Falls under the bottling up, methinks.

If it doesn't bother you then no I don't think it is... If someone is brash and harsh and you don't care then what's the big deal.. If someone demeans you, calls you names and tells you you're worthless, etc. I'd think that it'd bother anyone and therefore be emotional abuse..

But, I'm tired to so may not be thinking of all possible scenarios..

I'm talking about the inside. If you are strong enough to not let it mess with you....then is that abuse?

I don't think so. Some people are strong enough to take anything and not flinch, while others are afraid of being hurt. Lots of factors involved, but it definitely is emotional abuse if the other person is purposely trying to get under your skin.

Usually when emotional abuse happens, the person doing it is not meaning to.

It's just like throwing snowballs. Either the other kid is going to stand there and cry or they are going to laugh and throw some back.

ok...let me put myself in this hypothetical....

I am dating a guy and he says things that are belittling, degrading...whatever.

If I didn't let it get to me...then????

Yes the same way a push is still physical abuse even if you don't get hurt.

I'd say you were numb and he's an azzhole..

No one should talk to another like that even if it doesn't bother the other... People don't realistically do that Kim... IMO

lol Joy...I think you know me better than to hold my tongue when someone speaks to me that way lol. even when you aren't in a romantic relationship? I agree that no one should do that....but it happens

totage....so you are saying it is still abuse? (it's late and I'm just trying to make sure I understand lol

But being numb doesn't mean it's not affecting you. It may not right then and there, but it may later when he's not watching and aware.

When I was in the 4 year relationship, it didn't bother me in public, so to speak, but I remember plenty of times I would sit and cry in the shower. He never knew, and neither did anyone else.

Perhaps he would stop doing it. Mentally he might think that there is no need. Believe it or not, sometimes people say things that sound bad while thinking they are helping.

If he continued to say such things after you made it seem that he was'nt getting to you anymore, then I would think he has a problem.

It's okay to try to make yourself less able to be insulted, but at the same time, it's not right to make yourself into a garbage catcher for whatever he spews at you.

I understand being blunt and it hurting someone. I can be very blunt but it's not because I mean to hurt. I'm talking about saying things with the intent to hurt.

If somebody was saying things with the intent to hurt, I don't think that I would find a way to take it. I think that I would think 'It's on' and go right back at them, convinced that I am going to win.

It could be exciting, but I don't think that anybody really wants to take it.

Interesting points so far

odd this topic came up... was thinking of an old song, this was originally done by the Beatles.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfIh34uZY00

I suppose we have all been through this, and the song is basically saying, don't wear it on your shirt sleeve.

I surmise (seems a fitting word) that if you ask the question, then there was motivation, meaning that whatever the situation, was hurtful in some manner, right? otherwise, there would be no question. There would only be an answer, so the answer, i propose, is in the question itself.

huh Mark??

Meaning, that if the question was asked, then there was a reason for it. I realize you probably meant hypothetically, but those type questions often arise from some grievance, at least some sympathetic influence. Now, Kim, if i'm getting too deep here, we can call in Doctor Phil..and he can take it from here...

I forgot to add my disclaimer

THIS THREAD ISN'T ABOUT ME PERSONALLY

Too late for disclaimers, i've already called dr. Phil, and he said you need to sell out, and move, and stay away from bad influences, so that means you can't talk to me anymore..

I am beyond Dr Phil. I'd make him quit his practice and go into hiding lol