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you say something to someone, a stranger, out of anger...do you really beleive what you said? Or are you just venting, your psyche releasing things that have built up? Because what have heard, anger is just hurt feelings. I don't get angry with people. It's very hard to make me say something out of anger, and it would only happen if we were very close. My sisters are the only people I've ever even yelled at, but they're family so that's different. If someone were to upset me or anger me, I would walk away to avoid conflict. I'm not going to start anything with them or allow them to start anything with me. |
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I have a bad tendency to mimic the person I'm dealing with. So, if the person is happy, then I'm good, but if they're upset, AND lashing out, I will snap back, because I won't put up with it.
Otherwise I normally bottle up the emotions until I get home. Then go home, throw hay around, bags of feed, mess with the animals, or grab a machete and whack a dead tree, or drag wood into a pile - hard physical work. I have gorgeous potted plants, because sometimes I walk in, grab a drink, say hello and have to cool down, and then go sit and play in the dirt. I try really hard to get it out without saying something to the person or taking it out unintentionally on family. Believe me, if I didn't have to work, I wouldn't. |
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In Japan, every factory has a room with the rubber figure of the boss -- for the workers to take their frustrations out in a one-to-one "intelligent" discussion!
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I'm not a physical person, andhave thought about this for the alst few days. Iam very glad for the time off, and documneted the conversation as soon as getting off the phone..so not repercussions. I told her also , that i had been documenting this persons actions, or lack thereof, since Sept. also. She was surprised but I learned you have to have back up for what you are saying a long time ago.
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Unfortunately, your own transcriptions may not be much of an evidence. Get yourself a "telephone recording equipment"!!!
And do not caution her!!! She will watch her steps, and might never give you the opportunity... |
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Oh it's nothing that serious, I assure you...it's more a CYA. I've already talked to her today, she knows she has been way out of line and my 'discussion' of truth appears to have done some good.
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Hm, she might just be getting on your good side...
(Or I might've seen too many detective movies! )
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When i was younger I sometimes said things I didn't mean.
Now I'm less rash |
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Oh it's nothing that serious, I assure you...it's more a CYA. I've already talked to her today, she knows she has been way out of line and my 'discussion' of truth appears to have done some good.  YEAHhhhhhh, I am happy for you and happy THIS made you feel better in your job.....Very cool,,and I hope truly their is no aggression later from her,,wink..
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Shasta, I don't know what is exactly that you do for work, but it sounds a little complicated. What I do know, and unfortunately this is a double standard, is that bosses seem to think it's okay to blow up at their employees, but employees are NEVER allowed to return the favor. If you do, it usually follows with dire consequences. So we are left with acknowledging that we are upset about something or disappointed, and want some fair resolution to the concern, but we can never "get angry" or even say we are, because the boss' ego or sensitivity will punish you for it. At least that's what I've learned in the offices I worked at over the years. Find that inner peace, and state your concern logically and calmly. Not as easy as you might think.
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I work with the homeless, my boss is 77 years old. I was very appropriate and sometimes way too sensitive for my own good. I've known her for years and last year she recommended hiring me. She has accepted and approved the new program change from the old but fought me the first 6 months. We never blow up at each other, she has a knack of being extremely mean at times with uncalled remarks to alot, it's well known with the church and her group. It was in private so no other heard our conversation, I was upset that after all the time I have wked, esp since Thanksgiving, wking double time for a pt low salary until after new years. I asked for 5 days off and she denied it saying only 2. When I later spoke with her, I asked why my asst. couldn't do my hours, and she finally acknowledged to me that he wasn't capable (lazy)- which I have been telling her and asking for meetings to deal with this person in a group. Which bought me to say the volenteers feel he is also incompetant, she said no one told me, and I stated because you dismiss people. She said I don't and I said M- you dismiss me all the time. This is what I was feeling bad about being so honest about, truthful and to the point. We are adults and do not scream or demean people in ways that could even be interpeted as spiteful or hurtful but at the time...I was exhausted and felt she was being unreasonable (and she was) and it was time to stand up and finally say something. I felt bad because I care for her, we have the same goals and heart for the people we serve and felt badly about being so brutally honest. If there are repercussions...I will be more open and honest from now on, it has been resolved. My other supervisor is 81 years old and between the 2 of them my patience gets extremely tried, I respect them, know they are tired by the way the program was running for the last few years. The energy has shifted there, we are now respected by the city and police. I really think she knows she just pushed too far this time for me, it's a difficult but good job and my worth has been proven.
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I work with the homeless, my boss is 77 years old. I was very appropriate and sometimes way too sensitive for my own good. I've known her for years and last year she recommended hiring me. She has accepted and approved the new program change from the old but fought me the first 6 months. We never blow up at each other, she has a knack of being extremely mean at times with uncalled remarks to alot, it's well known with the church and her group. It was in private so no other heard our conversation, I was upset that after all the time I have wked, esp since Thanksgiving, wking double time for a pt low salary until after new years. I asked for 5 days off and she denied it saying only 2. When I later spoke with her, I asked why my asst. couldn't do my hours, and she finally acknowledged to me that he wasn't capable (lazy)- which I have been telling her and asking for meetings to deal with this person in a group. Which bought me to say the volenteers feel he is also incompetant, she said no one told me, and I stated because you dismiss people. She said I don't and I said M- you dismiss me all the time. This is what I was feeling bad about being so honest about, truthful and to the point. We are adults and do not scream or demean people in ways that could even be interpeted as spiteful or hurtful but at the time...I was exhausted and felt she was being unreasonable (and she was) and it was time to stand up and finally say something. I felt bad because I care for her, we have the same goals and heart for the people we serve and felt badly about being so brutally honest. If there are repercussions...I will be more open and honest from now on, it has been resolved. My other supervisor is 81 years old and between the 2 of them my patience gets extremely tried, I respect them, know they are tired by the way the program was running for the last few years. The energy has shifted there, we are now respected by the city and police. I really think she knows she just pushed too far this time for me, it's a difficult but good job and my worth has been proven. I am happy for you that it worked out, Shasta, truly. Curious that your bosses are so advanced in age. How large is this entity, number of people who work there? Do you have younger people working there as well, or is your organization understaffed? You asked for 5 days off, would you consider moving those 5 days to a different time in the calendar? A week before, after, next month? Your story is very interesting, and I am very pleased you are one of the noble few that is actually helping the homeless. I would love to learn how the homeless are coping with the extreme cold and snow back East right now, I feel bad for them, and I pray that they find safety and shelter. |
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