I'm new here and recently divorced. My ex left me and is always calling me to cry and mess my head up. Wish I could just put her completely out of my life but we have a child together. Any suggestions....

welcome to the site and good luck with that.

Smith + Wesson

Tell her unless it's about your child, you'd appreciate it if she didn't call you. If she needs to whine to someone, they have therapists for that. Good luck and welcome.

Don't know the situation well enough, but welcome to this site.

talk to her about child only

I agree...if it's not about the child then just say good bye. It takes time though. Join in the forums. That can help get your mind off of things

Easier said than done, but that is the right advice.

I would make it very clear to her, that you are willing to discuss the child ONLY during the phone conversation, and that if the conversation changes, you will say good-bye and hang up.

Following thru, consistently is the challenge. Stick to your guns.

It is the only way to get her to stop calling, unless of course, she gets involved with another man. That will probably end the phone calls, but you have no control over that. Unless of course you have a "friend" you can set her up with.

great advice.and I agree with u

I find it is rarely necessary to converse with the Ex about the kids. Maybe pick up times and drop off times but if you have a pediatrician and or the school telling you the information you are entitled to both know then there is little need for relay of information. Most seperated parents are going to deal with things in their own way anyway. Kids are smart enough to adapt to two different standards and will do what works in either.

If a spouse is getting into your head emotionally the best thing is run contact through a nuetral third party. That usually filters out a lot of junk. When she runs up on the stone wall she will find someone else to take her drama out on. Hopefully not your kid but it is possible.

There will always be some kind of a relationship with her because of the child. The question is what kind of a relationship do you want/can you have?

Be clear on visitation times, be prompt on pick up's and drop offs.
Understand that changes happen and can 'upset' a visitation schedule, It's OK to be flexible, but also be firm about getting the time together you and your child deserves.

If your child is school age, try to stay involved with their school activities, sporting events, plays, music recitals, etc.

If you can do Dr.'s office visits, dental appt.s, orthodontist's, it's like free 'bonus time' with your child.

If you are paying child support, be on time with it. I do mine through direct deposit-to the State. It is all automatic and very convenient for ME. And there is every an issue, its with the State.

Avoid discussions about money with the Ex. if the child is present.
Limit contact with the EX to concerns about the child.

Good Luck.

Hello and Welcome.

Divorce is never easy,emontions all over then place for both of you.Self healing does take time,lots of time.
Based on what you have stated, you want to move on,she needs to also.
Be firm with only talking what your child needs are.If you have to hang up, do so.Or you may want to communicate threw a mutual friend,until she can get a grip on reality. Best of luck.

since you have a child together you're always gonna have her in your life in some way or another

you'll prolly get used to it in twenty or thirty years

Hookers help!