i think yer all missing my point

child support should be paid

and the receiver should keep an accounting record of it

that is all i have been trying to say through this hole thread

is that so hard

sshhhhhzzzzzzzzzz

yes, robin...it IS so hard. how do i account for what is spent
where...and whether it was MY money that bought it, or his?

i count it as income...and there is a record of every penny i receive
from him through the child support clearing house. not a penny is
undocumented, other than the fifty bucks he gave them for christmas,
which was a present.

and it's nobody's business whether i cook my kids dinner tonight or
choose to eat out.

it does not matter which money was spent it is just that it was spent
for the child how does a business keep track of expenditures

if you can show where the money has gone (when you go to court
cause the payer wants a reduction----or the receiver wants an increase)

it would be much easier to argue your case and win

unless you might be receiving to much already

all you would need to do is set up a basic budget

no it is not that hard

there's always unexpected things...but that's not the point. in
arkansas, it doesn't matter a whit how much i make or what i do with the
money...it's set off of HIS earnings. there's a chart that they use to
set the support.

i'd be happy to provide rent receipts, maybe even utility bills...but
nothing more than that. it's not their business what i eat for dinner,
or what brand of clothing i put on my children. it's not their business
whether i think my child needs to be in the band...or go to the
movies...or have a new toy.

i have enough to fill my time with four girls, the youngest two being
special-needs...i'm sure not itemizing my life.

like it says in the title

the system sucks

i happen to think it sucks more for the person that pays then the person
that receives

but it sucks worse for the person that does not receive anything
cause the person that is supposed to pay

says i aint paying cause the receiver is not accountable

but hey what do i know

i do know that there are times that they take nearly the whole
check of the person that has to pay

and that is not right neither

it should be based on a actual amount made percentage

if you were still married and the payer missed work
the money would not be there

and should be accounted for

but hey what do i know

the original amount is set by percentage...but they can only take up to
a certain percent of his check, so that if he DOES miss work and falls
below a level, the child support falls, TOO.

if his circumstances change, then he can petition the court to
reevaluate his obligations.

i personally receive 100/week...when he's employed and they find him.
he often quits before holidays and such so that he can start a NEW job
that's NOT garnished...

there are far too many men that would be happy to quit their jobs and
NOT work to NOT pay. my father was one of these...he put his ranch in
his wife's name to show no income.

my hundred per week covers half my rent and some utilities...the actual
cost of raising these children is FAR more. gas to school...clothing,
food, books, educational opportunities, basketball, flute...all of those
are "extras", i guess. not to mention, my income is literally less than
HALF of what it was before we split.

Well this is what I think.

If your man or woman enough to get into a relationship and then have
kids and then decide one day you're not happy, guess what tough s***.
You made the kids, deal with it. Go be "happy" when they're all grown
up. Suck it up and do what's right for them.You made the decision to
have the sex and the relationship. It's your problem if you don't like
it. Don't make the kids pay for it.

This does not, of course, mean stay if you or the kids are being abused.

That is a truly strange observation. Are you suggesting that one
partner should put up with the protracted wrongdoings of the other "for
the sake of the kids"? Or that one partner "made" the kids, while the
other one just watched? That is bizarre to me. In my case, I decided
to end a marriage to a philanderer precisely because I did not want my
kids--three teenaged girls and an almost teenaged boy--to think that my
self-esteem was so low that I would trade it for financial security with
their dad. What kind of role model would I have been? It has a lot
less to do with happiness than you seem to think. It has to do with
acceptable behavior and an appropriate valuation of the self. To this
day, my ex makes at least six times what I make, and I have not one
regret that we divorced. And my children are closer to me than ever.

Here is the bottom line. Two people make children, and two people are
responsible for them. Anger and vengeance are not appropriate parts of
that equation, and research clearly indicates what tends to happen to
obligors once they set up single-parent households. Accounting for the
paltry sums that tends to be collected is a colossal waste of time,
especially as the formulas are income-driven, not expense driven.

It's not about money. It's not about self esteem. A commitment has been
made stick to it. Don't screw around. Don't cheat.
It is about happiness. You don't cheat on someone or leave them because
your happy do you? You cheat or leave because you're not happy.

well i do feel divorce is to easily obtainable but no one

should stay in an abusive relationship

usually that abuse carries to the next generation

as far as support

the answer is very simple indeed it is just the gov does not wanna do it

could set a percentage (always the percentage) attach it to their
ss card when someone is hired the employer should run the ss number to
verify its legitimacy and the child support info would come up and that
percentage would be removed and sent from every pay period

it should always be a percentage never a predetermined amount

does not seem all that complicated does it

but hey what do i know

Employers of any size are required by law to coperate with the child
support enforcement program. And you are correct, wage withholding is
the ideal way to get support coming in on a regular basis.
Unfortunately, many who should be paying go to great lengths to avoid
being caught up in the system. They classify themselves as
self-employed, work only in very small businesses, work as contractors,
change jobs often, and move from state to state. All of these issues
can be dealt with by the child support enforcement system, but time
lapses occur, and it is expensive and debilitating for the custodial
parent to keep up with them. Far too often, then, those who should be
paying wear down the custodial parent, and thus, get away with depriving
children of the support they deserve. That's a sad cultural commentary.

robin, the problem with a set percentage is that there is soooo many
ways around it. a parent can have a second, under the table job that
provides most, if not all, of their income...and only be paying a tiny
amount based off of the part-time position. or they can marry a woman
that makes lots of money, and stay at home.

right now, when an employer sends in new-hire paperwork, it includes the
social security number, and is eventually traced by child support
enforcement. this is pretty quick when the company uses computerized
accounting, but for small companies...it can take months before a
garnishment happens. for a skilled tradesperson, this is no big deal,
as they often work job to job.

dont feel bad, ecause I am on state assistance, the state takes all but
the first fifty of my back support every month!

well i gets mine and the SOB hasnt seen his kid since Christmas.As long
as the check keeps coming he can just stay away because this in and out
game he plays sucks.That money helps pay rent,buy food and helps with
the clotes.I can only work certain hours because of Brandons schedule
and have you seen the cost of daycare?? I absolutely refuse to account
for one cent of the money I spend because one look at my son's room and
you know where the money is going.I cant remebr the last time I bought
anything for myself in the way of clothes or other luxuries.So pay the
fking support you deadbeat parents,noone is going to f@#$king Bermuda or
anywhere on 25% of your salary.Damn.

My ex owes me allot of money for back child support and doesnt pay.

Its my kids that loose, but Im not sure the government could solve the
problem.

Child Support sucks? The world sucks. Women can easily find some rich
prick to bang and pay for their kids college. Us men who have to raise
kids alone won't get any help. Even the good guys and so on. Because
society expects us to be it all. Does it suck men are jerks and do
stupid things, giving courts the right to put the kids with their mom?
Yeah. But the other way around would be worse. Be lucky you don't have
a penis. Nuff Said.

TOTAL Weekly income after tax....$533.00..(including rent subsidy and
family payment, in leiu of child support, paid by Australian
Government,'Centrelink')

Rent...$250/ week.

Food...$120-$150/week and increasing due to food prices.

Utilities (power and phone)...$50/week

Petrol...$20/week (max)..

Sundry items..(birthday presents, pharmaceuticals, sports, dvd,
etc....)...$30/ week


Clothing, footwear, dental and any other necessary related
items.....$33...

Total....$533.00 per week.

Umm Robin, where might you see some flexibility in this budget?

Shall we perhaps not celebrate christmas and birthdays?

Or go without clothing?

That budget you see here is for four people..one adult and three kids.

What would you like to see different?

There is my budget...you fix it...you make the adjustments...

That is my wage, and my student fees removed, and government assistance,
in leiu of child support.

Not much room for holidays, drug addictions, alcholism...or anything
really....and to take four of us to a cinema to watch a movie is
$50...so that doesn't happen..


and if the children's father was to be paying child support, the reality
is it would look no different, as I would not receive rent assistance,
or family benefit, or the luxury of public health assistance...

i never said you should not get it

i said the deadbeats that don't pay may be more willing to pay if they
knew where it went

was all i was saying

i'm glad my kidz are grown and i don't have to pay any more

i paid my child support and owe nothing

there were times when they deducted the support that
i had less than 10 bucks left on my check

that aint right neither

if the union was still intact and there was less money made
then there would be less to live on

a piece of paper should not change that

what would you do if the money was not there b4 the divorce

support should be a set percentage

not a chart on what they a supposedly going to make

if there is a percentage used to set up the chart
then drop the chart and use the percentage

it would save court time and leave more money to the parents
of the kids the courts don't give a shyt about anyway

both parents still have to survive