best friends for 8 years...drink from the same glass eat from the same bowl...laughed and cried together...some started a family...happy for them...but why the women have to be with their men 24/7??...we all missed the old time...but the women always come along no matter what the occasion is...we get 10 mins smoke time alone at most...when it ends i can see everybody's sad...

i can see them trying to be part of our group...but it's not a club...

Ummmmm, maybe it's time to grow up?
Not trying to sound harsh, but life moves forward and circumstances change. It is possible that you are feeling more of the sadness than some others are. You can always try for a guys weekend and tell the gals they get to have their own as well. Work with it, not against it!

- guys weekend: won't happens.
- time to grow up?: do i ever stop growing...but when we grow...our bond shrink?...is it that easy to stop loving (not sexually)...or love new ones just because circumstance changed?...

anyways, i just had to say my last words somewhere...from here on...i know...where i go...only me.

people have their own mind...do/don't is up to them...i'm not going to try anything...i don't own my friends...stay or leave is up to them...i'm just a little emotional to see good time ends...who could see sun set and not feel a thing?...

I understand.........it's hard when one era ends and another begins. Don't be so quick to say a guys weekend won't happen. Or you could always just wait until they all get divorced..... Kidding, well sort of anyhow!
You have 2 choices.......either resist the change and fly alone and possibly lonely, or you could work around the situation and make it such that you still get to see your buddies. You get to decide.

Is it not possible to hang out with everyone as a group.

I.E....you hanging out with your friends and your friends wives or girlfriends at the same time?

Believe it or not...this is a good way to meet women. If your friens signifigant other thinks your cool, she may introduce you to some of her single friends or sister. And then...everyone an hang out and have a good time.

Mayhem_J, actually we had something like that. and you're right, they all try to introduce me to their single friends and sister. it happens once in a couple of weeks.

hanging out, drinking isn't what i missed. i missed the moments we discovered each other...hard to put down in words...if i keep talking like this i might not know wth im talking about...
-----------------------

thanks u both for the support. i don't get emotional for more than 10 minutes.
we'll just have to reduce to regular friends.

No worries man....just trying to help out. I hope it works out for you in the end.

It happens, people grow...part of the growing process is the introduction of new people into activities that used to be enjoyed with a smaller group of people. Can't really get all bent out of shape about it though, friends are still friends they just approach the situation differently given the circumstances that changed.

No real use in wallowing about it though, unless you want to I guess...

I've never known a friendship to stay the same when one or both of the friends became involved in a relationship. It's natural to prefer to spend time with the SO instead of the friend, if it was the other way around, I'd be very surprised. Don't take it personally, I'm sure they're still your friend, it just has a different dynamic now.

I cannot relate to that

sorry

my two best friends have been there for forty years. when I was married and then divorced they were still there (all three times)

there have been times when I was pissed off at em and didnt talk to em for a couple years but we got over it and they are still best friends

if I was stranded in Spokane or Atlantic City or somewhere and I called em they would come get me. They would be pissed but they would do it

but that means when one of em calls me at three in the mornin cause he's too drunk to drive I have to get up and go get him and *I* am pissed but I do it

take care of your best friends. they will be there long after everything and everyone else is gone

hmmmmm do these women (BTW...not all women need the 24/7) have that much control over your friends? Can you friends just say that they would like to have a night out once in a while or something?

I actually have a best friend that is the same way. When she has a man, nothing else in the world matters. She has to be with him 24/7. It is sad that some people don't know how to live their own lives.

And we have been "somewhat" best friends for 24 years. Some people, men and women included, never grow up or learn to be independent.

I do have some sympathy for papersmile

she is gonna have to deal with these yahoos now too

I don't think it's bad to want to be with your bf/gf wife/hubby all the time, to each their own. Everyone defines a relationship differently, what works for you won't work for everyone. If it bothers you that your friends prefer spending time with their SO over you, just get new friends and if they come back whining because the person dumped them or f'ed them over, ignore them.

I totally agree with this! They are the ones that need to figure out what is important in their lives.

But I will add, that some people need to learn to live their own lives without the other. Because if they never do, then they won't learn to be an "individual".

I had a friend who made her plans with the rest of us depending on what her bf at the time had planned. We'd decide to go out for dinner and she was like, "oh I don't know, I'll have to see what he wants to do first." Mkay....so we made definite plans one day, and then she announced that if he was free that day she couldn't go- and she just happened to be my ride, so if she couldn't go, neither could I.

So she azzed around for 2 or 3 days and finally he told her he was busy because she had pissed him off for some reason, so she calls me up about an hour before we're supposed to meet our friend, "I can go now, since he's not free." Pffft, I made up an excuse not to go, just to show her I wasn't her second option. She never did that again.

we all have choices. The friends can chose to be with their SO 24/7. The SO can chose to be with the friends 24/7. we can chose whether we want that in a friend. Your friends can speak up (if they really want to) and say they want a guys night out.


I can understand when someone is in a new relationship that they want to spend morning, noon and night with that person. Priorities change when dating, when you get married and when you have kids.

Hey Quiet can I have the cutie on the left for Christmas? I got the wishbone should I use it's magic?

quietman_2009
that's the kind of friendship we are, one different is we have never angry at each other before, not even once.


yellowrose10

yeah...i mean, if he wants to go he can but when he gets home...and i don't want to put him into that situation.

don't know about him but im, kinda sick of her already. came to talk to my friend ended up talking to her most of the time cos she sitting right there. always saying how great women are and find ways to prove that women > men.

getting new friends is easy for me, i just don't want to see him like that. his attitude/tone of voice/laughter etc. all different when he is with her. he lacks his usual confident (if i used the correct word). imagine going from a lion to a mouse.

....
you have to know that this isn't about me crying cos my friend wants to play with somebody else than me.

this isn't like we called him out and he doesn't come out because he is with his SO. this never happened, he always come...with her

we want time alone with him, so we can ask him how he's really doing. we want to hear what he couldn't say when he is with her. how is he coping with his new life.

if we ask him those question in front of his woman, you think we'll get the real answer?

what i really think is. couples bf + gf or wife + husband whatever...should have time of their own. and things to do on their own. i personally have not seen or heard 2 persons wanting to be with each other 24/7.