I can't be mean...especially to one of my fellow Utahans.

Ya but I'm taking people's advice now so I let them change my definition of rude.

Way to read the post explaining it :b

Last time I tried that people told me I was rude and basically a spoiled brat T_T

That was another joke I put in the profile waiting to see how long until someone brought it up. It's been there for quite awhile. Screwing around at the beach isn't really an interest I care about people finding me by so unless it makes things worse I'm not concerned.

I've already gone through everyone in my area so why bother with that feature?

I already did.

I have always had a hard time telling arrogance and confidence apart.

Mostly I wrote that to try and make the profile less stiff.

That was me trying to mirror people in the last thread. I'm trying to avoid that now.

Show me what that looks like...

I don't know how to do it in text. There's no timing, I can't vary the quality of my voice, and when I say something bizarre people think I don't understand that it was weird.

Plus a lot of it is observational.

Didn't I see this thread a day or two ago?? time to move on my friend.

Oh, I didn't read the "introductions" to this newly posted topic. You tend to drone on and you still find a way to insult people.

I can't believe you are seeking our advice yet still have the nerve to say, "Don't step on my toes". When people are offering you the favor of their time -- don't act like you are doing us the favor by gracing us with your presence.

As far as you trying to put humor across in your writing, yes, it's difficult to translate into the written form BUT if you use smileys -- it helps!

I don't mean this to sound offensive but I had a thought as to why you have trouble relating to anything we've said. Are you American born? Sometimes languages, vernacular, and upbringing can cause cultural discord. Are you like Fez from That 70's Show?

And, yes, you need to put something in your profile about the type of girl that attracts you; from the physical to the intellectual.

Based on all your little dissected replies to my post, I see you still don't plan on changing anything. You just want to argue and act mordant.

What are we going to do with you?

I had my two sisters and 1 female friend of mine read alllllllllllllllllll the crap you wrote and it was a victory for,"YOU ARE A BORING,MEAN SPIRITED PERSON AND SHOULD GET A NEW LIFE!!!!

A: I mean don't tell me I'm a bad person, just tell me how things I've been doing are bad. Big difference.
B: If emoticons don't count as smilies I'll just have to throw lol on the ends of things.
C: You made a long post about a lot of things, I'm just trying to acknowledge I've read and thought about it all, lol.

Once again, the poor Mingle horse - beaten bloody from the very first post and long since dead - continued to suffer the indignity of being beaten silly!

oooh, asks for advice and rating and gets a bit bent out of shape... It sounds like sexual tension... Oh, Wrong thread...

You see, I asked people to not call me boring and mean spirited and that sort of thing.

It's ok though, I'm going to just not reply to any more posts like this one n_n

No one has ever said you are a bad person. You MIGHT have less than gregarious or attractive characteristics but you are not a bad person. You need to delineate the difference between constructive and destructive feedback. You are going to face a lot of people in your life -- many will be less than “nice” bosses. If you are too sensitive and keep that chip on your shoulder much longer, your life is going to miserable (and getting fired a lot).

Emoticons or smileys, whatever, they are more expressive than ‘lol’

Come on, posting the Peanut Butter Jelly Time guy is cathartic! Try it!

What is n_n ??? or T_T ??? I see you use the strange little symbols peppered throughout your posts.

My advice:

1. I know, you know, but change your heading. "No" doesn't cut it. Use a favorite quote or something funny or creative, to describe yourself, but nothing cliche like "searching for my princess" - YUCK!

2. Your profile gives the impression of someone that has a specific type of humor, which is fine.

If you are trying to attract a woman with the same type of humor - someone that "gets" you, leave it alone, but doesn't sound like you've had much luck, so far.

I would re-do it completely. Erase everything and start over. Be brief, describing yourself, your goals in life, your priorities, what kind of person you are, how your friends view you, what type of woman you are looking for, what is important to you in life.

Yes, I agree, this will not work.

I am going to email you directly, tho, when I get a chance. There is just too much to say, and I don't have enought time, tonight.

O.K., this is the copy of the email I sent you. (had more time than I thought)

Let's break down the quote in your original post:

The ideal relationship is one where I have someone to not just talk to but with. Sarcasm and not being easily offended are probably the main requirements there.

1.Sounds like you are going to be sarcastic and make fun of her. Women are sensitive. This statement will scare them off. Just say "good sense of humor."


I'd like someone more excited about the activities available here and will help me get out and do more of it.

2. Sounds like you need someone to force you to get out or hold your hand and show you how to do it. Say something like "lots to do here - need an activity partner."


This one I don't have any idea how I can ask for without ruining the impression of me in the profile but I figure it would work better later in conversation if I could get people to talk with me for awhile. A partner in crime/adventure also works because I know plenty of things that are enjoyable with someone else that enjoys that sort of mischief.

3. Does this mean you do things that are illegal? Mischief sounds a little juvenile. Just say you want someone that enjoys life and isn't a couch potatoe. Use general terms - you will figure each other out, once you have actually met and got to know each other a little. If she is not into the same things as you, then move on.


I'm not looking for someone especially clingy. I'm for women's rights and while I don't want to have anything to do with someone who is going to war with anything that is symbolically female I'm not turned on by the idea of having a house slave that lives to dote on me. Moderation is the key here.


4. Too much negativity, even tho it isn't intended that way. Just keep it GENERAL. "I am a very giving person, and am looking for the same."


With sex I would probably be easily seduced but I'm looking for a long term relationship and sex there will happen if it happens. So it's not my goal but it's a plus.

5. Again - WAY too much info. Just say "I am NOT looking for a one-night stand." Period. Women will have some respect for that - they don't want any mention of sex, right off the bat.

That is my best advice for you. Hope it helps.

Haha
Lewis the great!
still he helps!
if you dont take the advice,its time to become A-sexual my fiend of the forums!
theres always thailand,
it sounds you may be a rich man some-day!

I have evolved beyond the use of yellow smiley faces :O

The underscore is the mouth with those. The n's are an exaggerated curve for when you smile with your eyes closed, and with the T's picture the horizontal line as the eye and the vertical line as a trail of water pouring out of it.



In case that's too hard to see in words.

Or I guess I could pull out bizarre smileys nobody uses

It kind of irks me when people tell me "women are ____." It hits the same switches in my head as "black people waste all their money on gaudy jewelry."

But I'll try and repress that sensation for now.
I can tell the difference between fun and harm. Is "good sense of humor" the only good way to describe that? I had that in a different version of my profile but it didn't seem to help so I got it in my head that maybe it was't descriptive enough.


I'd say remind how :P
But alright, that sounds good.


Hasn't anyone here ever heard of hyperbole? With mischief near it I would think you'd get that I did indeed mean something less severe than crime.
But sure, juvenile probably describes most of it. It's been quite awhile since I had someone else to do that with so everything of the sort was done before I was an adult. I guess I thought there would be more adult versions of the activities but I don't know what they are.

I might accept this piece but it conflicts with a lot of other people's advice and about the only complements I've had in these threads came from people saying the more descriptive stuff was better.

Anyone have experience with whether the twenty something girls on these sites prefer details or general information?

That does sound like exactly the attitude I tried to make my profile with early on. I've shied away from it thanks to the "whaa, I never get to hold conversations long enough that we learn anything about each other" bellyaching of mine so I think I'll need a little stronger push to flip back to that.


If this site didn't have a rule against multiple profiles I could just make one of each -_-;


I got the impression that so many of them only had that in their profiles because of the waves of creeps that message them for that. Not sure why I hadn't considered sticking it in my profile-

Ya, after my next bout of exams is over I'm going to have some noticeable revisions to make. Thanks.

You are right, in that my statement of "women are sensitive" is a generalization, comparable to "black people are..."

BUT, I'm telling you, women and men are wired differently. And the humor you use with your friends is PROBABLY not going to work with a woman, without toning it down some.

It is like thinking that, because you are a couple, she will like every movie you do and vice-versa. They don't call them "chick-flicks" for nothin'.

Yep, definitely different tendencies. I could turn this into an argument about if they are born wired differently or if the way our society works is what wires them like that most of the time but that would be a huge tangent.

...the humor I use with my friends...
Well thing is during high school most of my friends were girls. My sister is the only girl that sort of fits into the "friend" category that doesn't understand my humor so much, though after she married into a social group with humor like mine the tables have turned there a bit.

To be honest in most cases I'm probably too cautious about anything that might be a sensitive subject. IRL I don't joke much until I know what kinds of views someone holds, and although I don't appreciate how warren said I was mean and boring, boring is a good description until I loosen up around people. I still get described positively but "fun" is something I have to learn over with each person I meet.

I've been struggling against that for a few years and I've made significant improvement but it's hard to stay optimistic.