A joke and see how many you get back. then post them here.

TOM

A man escaped from a lunatic asylum, and made his way into a small
countryside village.
On entering the village, he came across a laundry, where several women
were doing their weekly wash.
He entered the laundry whereupon he threatened the women with a knife,
and proceeded to rape two of them.
When the owner of the laundry heard the screams, he ran into the main
washroom.
At this point, the lunatic ran out of the laundry, and disappeared over
some garden fences, and escaped.
The next morning, the headline in the local newspaper read;


NUT SCREWS

WASHERS

AND

BOLTS


Tom

Hi. If you enjoy the following joke, please post it in the above thread.
Then post one of YOUR jokes to one other friend and see how many
different jokes we end up with.


A woman, heavily pregnant with triplets enters a bank to withdraw some
cash.
As she was standing in the queue, two masked robbers burst into the
bank, and demanded money from the cashier. On their way out, she was not
fast enough in moving out of their way, and, unfortunately, one of the
robbers shot her three times in the stomach.
She awoke in hospital to find that the swelling in her belly was no
longer there. Hysterically, she started screaming for her children. The
doctor quickly reassured her that her children had been saved, and that
there was nothing to worry about; apart from one thing.
Each of her children had been hit by the bullets, and they had lodged in
inoperable areas. But she need not worry, because, during the passage of
time, the bullets would dislodge and exit in a normal fashion.
12 years later, the first of the woman’s children, a daughter, came to
her and said,
“Mum, I’ve done something that I can’t explain.”
“What is that?” asked her mother.
“I went to the toilet, and this came out.”
It was, of course, a bullet.
Her mother explained what had happened 12 years later, and not to worry.
Every thing would be fine.
A couple of weeks later, her second child, also a daughter, came to her
mother and said,
“Mummy, I’ve done something I can’t explain, or understand.”
Her mother said,
“What. You went to the toilet for a pee, and a bullet came out?”
“Yes.” Replied her daughter.
Once again, the mother explained what had happened, and that everything
would be fine, and that she had nothing to be concerned about.
A couple of days later, her third child, a son, came to his mother and
said,
“Mum, I’ve done something bad!”
His mother said,
“I know what. You went to the toilet for a pee and a bullet came out?”
“No.” replied her son. “I was having a wank, and I shot the cat!”

why did the robot cross the road?

he was carbon bonded to the chicken!!!!

Two men were sitting in a bar, and having a discussion about marriage.
“I’ve been married twice. “ Said the first one. “I’ll never get married
again!”
“Why’s that?” asked his companion.
“Well. I’m just unlucky.”
“How do you mean.” Unlucky?”
“Well, my first wife died!”
“Oh dear, I’m sorry to hear that. How did she die?”
“She died from food poisoning. She ate some poisoned mushrooms.”
“Good God!” Exclaimed the other. “What happened to the second wife?”
“She died as well.”
“My commiserations. That is bad luck. How did she die?” If you don’t
mind me asking?”
“She died of a fractured skull.”
"How on earth did she die from a fractured skull?"
"She wouldn't eat the mushrooms!"

UK

Two friends are talking in a café and one says to the other,
“I phoned the drug helpline this morning and a voice said,” ‘If you want
information on smoking, press 1. If you want information on alcohol,
press 2. If you want information on drugs, press Hash.’


UK

A man and a woman meet at bar one day and are getting along really well.
They decide to go back to the woman's house where they engage in
passionate love making.
The woman suddenly ****s her ear and says, "Quick my husband just got
home, go hide in the bathroom!" So the man runs into the bathroom.

Her husband comes up into the bedroom and looks at her. "Why are you
naked?" he asks.

"Well, I heard you pull up outside, so I thought I would come up here
and get ready to recieve you."

"Okay." the man replies "I'll go get ready."

He goes into the bathroom before his wife can stop him and sees a naked
man standing there clapping his hands.

"Who the hell are you?!" the man asks.

"I'm from the exterminator company, your wife called me in to get rid of
the moths you are having problems with."

The husband exclaims, "But you are naked!"

The man then looks down and jumps back in surprise, and says... "Those
little bastards!"