Topic: 3 months
KRYSTIE08's photo
Fri 10/23/09 09:37 PM
how can u tell if ur a good parent? if u felt in ur heart that uur kids father could not take care of ur child what would u do? how long per day should u work with ur kid? exspecially if hes an infant? would u give ur child the h1n1 vaciation? what about losing pregnancy weight? any parenting suggestions at all? ill take all the advice i can!

Ladylid2012's photo
Fri 10/23/09 09:42 PM
Your child is 3 months old?

KRYSTIE08's photo
Fri 10/23/09 09:54 PM
two and a half and just got rlease

yellowrose10's photo
Fri 10/23/09 09:55 PM
just take a deep breath. all parents make mistakes and aren't perfect. all you can do is do your best.

Ladylid2012's photo
Fri 10/23/09 09:59 PM

two and a half and just got rlease


just got what?

yellowrose is right..none of us are perfect parents. We each do the best with what we have and what we know.

Queene123's photo
Fri 10/23/09 10:12 PM
i raised both my kids without there father even though i was married to my son dad, he wasent there to help.. after my divorce my mom actually took over and help me raise my kids, i had alot going on in my life and i felt it was best for her to help out...

no photo
Fri 10/23/09 10:26 PM

how can u tell if ur a good parent? if u felt in ur heart that uur kids father could not take care of ur child what would u do? how long per day should u work with ur kid? exspecially if hes an infant? would u give ur child the h1n1 vaciation? what about losing pregnancy weight? any parenting suggestions at all? ill take all the advice i can!


ummm..if your child is growing and thriving...you are doing fine :)
keep my child..only option for me.
i spend all the time i can with my son-he's 14 now :)
i won't do h1n1, but my kid got all vaccinations..idk if i would now do h1n1 if he were an infant...
losing pregnancy weight? eh, takes time.
go with your maternal instinct and you'll be fine :)

PacificStar48's photo
Fri 10/23/09 11:12 PM
Edited by PacificStar48 on Fri 10/23/09 11:27 PM

how can u tell if ur a good parent?

That is something you probably will not know for years and years for a really comprehensive answer so probably want to focus on the day to day. Is your baby thriving, does he eat, sleep, poop, and respond to comfort? Is he safe? Meeting basic needs for him and yourself then you are doing a good job as a parent.


if u felt in ur heart that uur kids father could not take care of ur child what would u do?

If you are leaving the child in his unsupervised care and he won't ask for help when he needs it then you need to step in and insist that he does. If he just parents differently and no real harm is coming to the child then there is not a lot that you can do. It is not your job to teach the other parent how to parent but if you can do anything to make anyone in your child's life more sucessful then you are showing true love to your child.


how long per day should u work with ur kid?

That has a lot to do if you are seeing to it that your childs needs are met. While I think it is better for a child to be parented by a parent or trusted family member it is fine for a child to live in a world where a diverse number of nurtureing people help him thrive. Pick people who support your family bonds and and allow you to meet your child's needs. When they are very young if they are seeing you dailey where they can interact with you they will thrive.

My preference is for in home care or the most homelike setting possible for infants but once a child is standing part-time day care in a quality child care facility can help your child learn all kinds of valuable things. It is better to work and keep a stable life for your child than live in a constant state of drama and upheavel. And abusive environment for you is poisonious for your child. You are better in a shelter program. If you need a referral contact me. Or if it is accute First Call for help a number the phone operator can give you.

exspecially if hes an infant?

Surpriseingly infants do well in child care where necessary. Parenting by surrogates is barely distinguishable to the infant that is well cared for and children have the uncanny knack of blending memories in favor of parents so don't beat yourself up if circumstances mean you must be seperated. Drop in and check un announced to comfort your fears and keep people on their toes but your anxiety is the biggest vibe your baby will read if you chronicaly worry and feel guilty about working to meet his needs.

would u give ur child the h1n1 vaciation?

If my Pediatrician (Not just any smuck doctor) said that was what was best for my infant that is what I would do. Flu is a serious serious illness and a baby can die in a matter of hours from vomiting and diarreah so ALWAYS error on the side of taking your infant to medical attention if your instincts tell you he is sick. If you are a single parent you do not want to buck the system by refuseing recommended medical care. Follow all written instructions that your Ped's guy give you and if you have questions do NOT guess ask questions until you understand.

what about losing pregnancy weight?

It takes 18+ months to get thru pregnancy and lactation and other post delivery body changes and it should take at least that long to let your body recover. If you are looseing more than a pound a week you are over taxing your body. That does not mean that you can not improve your dietary habits, general health habits, and increase your activity level. Being tired is ok but being exhausted is not. Let your baby be part of your recovery and the movement and fresh air will help him also. DO NOT tan it makes streach marks, stressed hair, and dehydration worse.


any parenting suggestions at all?

Read any of the basic baby guides that are readily available at public libraries or patient information centers in clinics and services for children. Often thrift stores have Mother's guides. And of course tons exist on line.

Network with other successful Mom's through your family, church, local preschool or public school, health clinic, YWCA, Red Cross, Community Colledge, Scouting, or Fire Department.

Trust your instincts. Mothers are naturally protective and if you feel you need help ask for it but if someone is butting in to futher their own agenda tell them to back off.

Plan ahead but live one day at a time.

Expect to make mistakes. Babys are really good at letting you know when you are doing something wrong. Listen to their cry and you will learn quickly what they mean when you give them what they need. They don't cry as judgement or only for distress sometimes it is just exercise or blowing off steam. Don't take it personal. The calmer you stay the faster it will end. Swadleing is often great soother.

Removeing offending smells and sounds is another. Your sweaty stinky t-shirt sometimes is a great soother. Just do not let your baby sleep in your bed. Near is fine but the sooner you can move them out of your sleeping area even if it means sleeping in a segregated area in the corner of the living room the better rest you both will get. If you need to sleep with something make it your baby's teddy bear because really they are often allergic to stuffed animals even small ones. ]

Sure there is more if you have specifics I will be glad to address them. Good Luck. Congratualtions. You have made it this far so you are doing something right.

ill take all the advice i can!


That is a good attitude. If you listen respectfully even if it is not good advice you have made a friend. Friends are essential. Not pissing off Grandparents is smart. They will be around when everyone else has and excuse. Unless you really think it is going to hurt your baby try to find a middle ground.

Popular parenting ideas seem to change with the generations. Most of the bad ones usually get shot down pretty fast but some still linger on and a few for a good reason. Keep in mind the ONLY EXPERT about your kid is YOU! Follow your gut. Children learn what they live. Be a parent before a pal.