I havnt seen my son in two years. He's 12 now. All ADHD of him. I want to see him again. I miss him. If you have kids I'm sure you know what I mene. His mother makes it hard. She has A family of her own. They want to keep it that way. Up until two years ago. I raised him. I fell on some hard times. His name is Taylor. My knickname for him was "the buddies", or "buddy". He was my buddy! For all those years we were there for eachother. I feel as though I let him down. To be honest with you. I know I did. A father should be better than this. I'm scared. Should I call him? I do miss him. Any ideas on how I should go about this? I thought about writing him A letter to explain myself and including A calling card. His choice. We were so close. Sad part is I recently moved back into the same town he lives in. Maybe I'm A coward. Love is love. I do love my son. I just want your input. I'm just afraid of what he may say, or think of me. I hurt everyday. Thats how much I love him. Any ideas?

Yes, call and write him. Tell him that you're sorry and that you love him.

Give him a call his mother would probably more than happy that you want too.just be consistent not only when you feel like it.Everyone makes mistakes.He isnt doing nothing but getting older.And he probably thinks about ya.Good luck and call

If your ex has started a new family then it is hard. Thing is your relationship with your son is very different than your relationship with his mom. You do need to communicate with her in order to work something out, but it might be better if you offered to deal with the both of them instead of just her. Writing to your son will let him know exactly how you feel, but remember that anything you put in print could be used against you in court. Have someone you trust read the letter before you send it, maybe even a lawyer. If you can not deal with her at all, you do have legal rights. It may be costly, but you might have to go that route. Maybe you could offer to get the boy a cell 'phone. Unfortunately alot depends on how his mother treats you. You and your son are in my prayers. Bulldog.

It doesn't hurt to try and make contact. I'd give anything for my son to see his father, but sadly, he's moved on with his life and left his son behind. He hasn't seen or called about him in 4 years. My son, just as your son deserves his father in his life. But as someone else said, consistency is key, especially if your son has ADHD, he can't deal with someone hot and cold in his life. Best of luck and I hope you take that first step and try to contact your son.

I understand , i hope buddy's mom will give u no issues in this regard.

You must with reach out , no matter how hard ,never let him say in the end why you did not fight for me ,to be with me. That child loves u man , u have established that bond.. do it

You should call him or write a letter because you are hurting & this hurt and quilt will continue to haunt you until you do something

Yes...call him and talk to him. Apologize, he's 12 he'll get it. Don't let time slip away, next thing ya know he'll be 13, then 14.
We all make mistakes in parenting..step up, it will be worth it.

Yes...contact him. He misses you just as much. As the dad, and the adult, you need to make the first move. You are and always will be his dad....

PAUL,

HERE I FIND MYSELF AT A WEIRD PLACE OFFERING A HAND TO SOMEONE OBVIOUSLY OLDER THAN MYSELF. mY ADVICE TO YOU IS SIMPLE ON THIS, I WAS IN YOUR SON'S PLACE, AS I GREW UP. I HAD A FATHER FIGURE THAT WAS NOT BLOOD AND NEVER REALLY KNEW MY REAL DAD UNTIL I WAS 16. THE TRUTH IS, MUCH LIKE ME I AM SURE, HE WILL ALWAYS FEEL LIKE SOMETHING IS MISSING WITHOUT YOU THERE. HE WILL ALWAYS WONDER WHO HE REALLY IS, BECAUSE IN ALL REALITY HE WILL ONLY KNOW WHAT HE IS TOLD ABOUT YOU, IF YOU ARE NOT THERE.

I WILL NOT MAKE THIS RUN ON ANY LONGER. CONTACT HIM PAUL. AS SOON AS YOU CAN. BE CAREFUL WITH ANY LEGAL ISSUES REGARDING IT FIRST THOUGH. YOU WILL DO HIM NO GOOD IN JAIL. BUT MAKE SURE YOU CONTACT HIM, OFFER AN APPOLIGY... IF HE ASKS FOR AN EXPLANATION, GIVE IT TO HIM, IF HE IS LIKE ME..... CHANCES ARE ALL HE WILL CARE ABOUT IS THAT HE HAS A FATHER!!

MINE STILL BAILED ON ME... AND NOW WE NO LONGER SPEAK... DON'T LOSE OUT ON SOMETHING THAT COULD BE AMAZING. IT MAY BE HARD TO FACE HIM, BUT DO IT FOR HIM AND FOR YOU!! BOYS NEED A REAL FATHER, YOU SHARE BLOOD AND I BELIEVE SOULD AS WELL.

TAKE CARE AND GOOD LUCK SIR,
MUCH LOVE
MICHAEL PRIEST
PHOENIX,AZ

The longer you wait the harder it will be. Call him, set up a visit. Do it now. dont wait. the apology can wait until you see him. and telling him things in person will mean a lot more than a letter. I watched my husband let his son slip through his fingers, and I don't know if it can ever be repaired at this point. For your sake and for his, call him. Just being there will help the hurt some. And if he says no, or mom says no, give it a little time and try again. God bless you and good luck.

Engage contact.
Its not like you're a stranger.
He wants his Dad, be there.
The money doesn't matter as much as you think.
The Time Does.

Call him and write be there in his life because it will make a difference.My son's have not seen there father in 5 years going 6 and I know it hurts not having him in their lives and now they are 15 and 9 time is going by so fast and when it goes like that you can't get it back.Be there for him and support him just take it slow and talk with him in time he will understand.also he will be thankful you stepped back in his life.I know it will be hard but just take a deep breath and let him know you love him and yes grown ups do make mistakes and we learn from them.Just be straight and up front with him.I'm into education and I deal alot with kids in many different schools and I hear so much how kids want the other parent in there lives because it makes a difference to them.The kids tell me if they only had the chance to just hold them and just say I love you that would mean alot to them.Good Luck and My prayers are with you and I also have a son that is ADHD also.

My first question is this, what does it matter that your son has ADHD? If your child has ADHD or not, they still would like to hear from an absent parent. My son has ADHD..its a medical condition that does not effect how he feels towards any parent. So please don't use a medical condition about NOT contacting him.
Get off of your butt and contact him!! If you don't do it, time will slip away and the more time that slips away...the harder it will be to talk to him and explain everything. IF you don't do this, you have one person to blame...YOU!!!
Good luck

Yes...I agree with everyone...contact him. Kids bounce back alot easier than adults do. Kids love unconditionally.

Listen Paul,


From my experience, dont wait another second.


Whatever reason you needed a break, you took it, and its over.


Call that baby, and let him know how much you love him.


You know hes a whole lot more than a diagnosis, and he is a little person with feelings.


You can start now to be the best Dad you could, and you really should.

Every second your not calling him, and being present in his life is a direct strike against you, and DOES really affect your child.

Get over your issue crap, and call the boy, what's between you and him is something noone else can share. Just because a family extends with a new wife or husband does not mean you go on abandoning your child.

You have to be strong, and know how important it is your child has their biological father.

Get in there, and talk with the mom, and explain to your boy that your here now, maybe you couldnt be there before, but you can assure him you will be calling, and there for him in his life.

AND THEN CONTINUE being consistant.

The bond between the two of you is something that cant be duplicated.

I share my child with his father, and when hes gone for his part of the time with him I am VERY present, ALL of the time.

Stop with the guilt crap, and the feeling bad, and sorry stuff.. its selfish, and when you do that you create distance between your child and yourself.

Also, children feel responsible when a parent abandons them. They believe its their fault. I say get in there with urgency.

And by the way, while you are in front of the computer.. google ADHD and learn about your childs condition> Because of it he needs you more than a child without this issue.
Good Luck.

Agreed .

Double post .

i'm with everyone else here too...get in touch with him, apologize and be in his life, he needs you, he needs to know you love him. be a father to your son

I think your first step should be to call and do it often, perhaps every couple days, maybe once a week...I am not sure if an apology can fix things, being that he's 12, he's already got his mind made up about you, an apology won't fix that.

You should let him know that from now on you'll call and if his mom allows it, for you to see him. You both should talk and try to work out a joint custody agreement, written and notarized, just to make it legal.

2 years is a bit of time to go without a parent, I know this and soon my 5 year old son will understand the same thing.

It's not going to be easy, you are going to commit yourself to your pre-teen, who is probably already going through a-lot, you need to think about what's best for him and not for yourself.

Just, whatever you tell him, be sure to follow through with your actions, thats the only way your son will realize you're sorry and that you miss him. Because words can talk talk talk, but its the actions that prove it. Good luck.