It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we don't know where the heck she is.

I don't jog, it makes the ice jump right out of my glass!

I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put 'em further up on our body.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I joined a health club last year, spent about $400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

If you're going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again.

I would have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

Thanks for the Monday morning laughs

That was cute!!

I'd rather get old than be young and unhealthy..