Anyone have any tips about being a new Step parent?

It all depends on how open to letting you into thier lives they are!!!

I have done foster parenting and sdopting but the step parent thng seems kind of dicey. I wound think it is a lot different than either of those. My late husband adopted my boys who were still relatively young and had no relationship with their birthfather but the final say on anything about them was always with me. He was frequently deployed so not like he could step in a lot.

I had step children and I tried to treat them as if they were my own. Everyone goes through a huge transition and it's hard. Everyone wants to be accepted and loved. Fairness is a necessity.

Don't be afraid to have the same rules and boundaries as you do for your own. All children need rules and having less rules for the step children will make your own kids feel slighted.

It's tough to balance but just give it your best.

Good luck.

The best I can tell ya is to lose the word (step) parent!

Yes but isn't that terribly disrespectful to the birthparents? What if the Mother has died? Or was injured. Seems cruel to take that honor for a child you didn't bring into the world.

this is a difficult subject... my ex's boys still call me mom because i am all they know... but as far as dropping the step i think that is ok because you are a parental figure. it would be different if you were making them call you mom

I don't see why there isn't something so terrible about a child just calling a person who cares about them something beside Mother.

It seems strange to me that with all the words in language they can't come up with a more approriate word than Step Mom which seems to have such and ugly conotation. A word that doesn't take away from Mother's but gives a child the right to be loved as a child which everyone seems to get; even other children.

Just treat them like your own. Show them you care.

Let them be who they are, give them space to feel them out . Do not be to quick to impart your order or rules unto them. Let it be a slow integration process, where u are learning as well . Do not be static but with an open mind if u allow it all of can be happy. patience and love.

I did not mean any disrespect at all.I have seen that word used to hurt children so many times.It makes me sick.If you are willing to take on the role of being a parent of the child,Than why put a lable on it?We all know there is a birth parent.And most respect that.
Love of a child is love of a child! And When you chose to be in a relationship with someone that has children.I would perfer not to lable to are a family.Am I not right??
J.M.2.Cents!

Yes I agree. Unfortuneately society labels and we often are stuck with them. Ever tried to find a Mother's day card that reads for the woman who treats me like a Mom?

Children are also territorial. If you have a blended family it is not only the feelings of the child being brought into the family but siblings. I don't think a child gets to dictate who else a parent loves but it kind of messes with where a child feels they belong in the world having additional siblings that actually have a Mother.

The loyalty issue also comes up with Grandparents who want to protect their territory.

It is a delicate position.


I kind of wonder about the letting rules slide for a while idea. Doesn't that prolong the process of adjustment if what is let pass one day then doesn't fly the next? Seems to set the kid up for extended failure? I think a kid needs consistency and honesty and can figure out your boundries if you are clear where they are.

Hopefully, you have discussed and agreed with parenting issues with the one you are marrying. His/her support is very important. Kids need to see a united front with all parents. My ex and I (and his wife) discussed things going on with the kids and supported each other in the decisions. They are grown now and have turned out well!