1)
Years ago I had just delivered twins. They were a boy and a girl. The head nurse brought them out for their father to see. He could hardly believe his good fortune.

The girl baby had a pink blanket wrapped around her and the boy baby was enclosed in a blue blanket. He took one step forward just so he could touch the babies and believe they had finally arrived.

As he started to touch them the nurse took a step backwards and said, "You can't touch those babies. You aren't sterile!!"

Without missing a beat, and with a big smile, the husband boasted, "You betcha I'm not!"



2)
Two guys were at a bar talking about how highly their wives thought of them. The first guy said, "My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won't let me do any work around the house. It's incredible."

The second guy says, "That's nothing. My wife thinks I'm God."

"She thinks you're God? What makes you say that?"

"Easy. Every night she places a burnt offering before me."



3)
Two women (Jane and Emma) were sitting having coffee in a coffee shop
Talking about their recent break ups
Jane:
"I just couldn't believe he had the nerve to lie to my face when i caught him, the cheek of it, so thats why we broke up, how about you and george? what happened there?"

Emma: "We had this big argument about religion, He thought he was god and i didnt!"


4)
Why are men such jerks?
It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span of a male is typically 10 years shorter (and it's not just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure)? Hormone modifies behavior. We're just misunderstood.