ZACKENBERG RESEARCH STATION, GREENLAND—Claiming it to be one of the most dramatic and visible signs of climate change to date, researchers said Monday that receding polar ice caps have revealed nearly 200 clandestine lairs once buried deep beneath hundreds of feet of Arctic ice.

An ice shelf off the coast of Greenland in 2006 (above) and last week (below).

"We always assumed there would be some secret lairs here and there, but the sheer number now being exposed is indeed troubling," said noted climatologist Anders Lorenzen, who claimed that the Arctic ice caps have shrunk at the alarming rate of 41,000 square miles per year. "In August alone we discovered 44 mad scientist laboratories, three highly classified military compounds, and seven reanimated and very confused cavemen. That's more than twice the number we had found in the previous three decades combined."

"This is no longer conjecture," Lorenzen added. "This is a full-blown crisis."

According to oceanographers, the Arctic Circle has been devastated by the effects of global warming in recent years, threatening hundreds of men and women who use the frozen tundra as a place to conduct bizarre experiments in human-animal grafting, carry out massive government cover-ups, or simply as a hidden headquarters from which to battle the forces of evil and fight crime.

"Last week a giant ice sheet broke off and split my prized underground complex nearly in half," said Dr. Raygun, a self-described psychotic mastermind best known for his diabolical thought-control experiments. "Now millions of dollars in state-of-the-art doomsday devices are gone—all because of the environmental carnage wrought by the human race."

"You spend your whole career concocting a brilliant scheme to wipe out all of mankind, and what happens?" Dr. Raygun continued. "They bring about a major global catastrophe completely on their own, those fools!"

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Evil Scientist Dr. Raygun has begun the expensive task of moving his entire mutant staff to their Titan moon base.
Scientists predict the problem will only get worse as rising temperatures release methane trapped in Arctic permafrost, perpetuating the warming cycle and threatening the habitats of those who depend on the ice caps for safety from the prying, meddling public.

Earlier this week a flying saucer surfaced and is reportedly still pulsating with increasingly intense, unearthly colors. And late last month, a mystical order of Nazi occultists emerged from an underground bunker where they had spent decades communing with the Hyperborean gods and attempting to breed a new Aryan super-species destined to destroy Homo sapiens and rule the earth for untold millennia.

The 12 elderly Germans were detained by local law enforcement in Wainwright, AK.

According to a Natural Resources Defense Council survey, 78 percent of sinister one-eyed industrialists based in the Arctic have been forced to relocate their powerful underworld shadow governments, with many now secretly orchestrating world affairs from dormant volcanoes on remote islands.

Many villains have also been forced to change their entire way of life.

Zawallah, the super-intelligent ape whose gold-teleporter crippled the global economy during the 1980s, recently ceased operation of his orbital heat cannon. Others, meanwhile, are genuinely concerned about the effect that increased temperatures may have on the future of humanity.

"Gwaahhhhrrr-huaawwwrr-gwaahhhrrrr," cried test subject PR-433809-21, the ghastly result of a human cloning experiment gone horribly awry. "Pwwwuuuagharrgh!"

But not all inhabitants of the polar ice caps are upset by global warming. Last month saw the thawing out of a team of British explorers frozen in 1848. Expedition members told reporters they were confident that, if more ice melts, they can finally complete their original mission of discovering a Northwest Passage.

For the time being, most researchers have shifted their attention away from the ice caps and toward finding a way to contain the giant reptile monster Bizarricus, who was trapped in an ice floe by Japanese scientists in the 1950s and has now returned to teach the world a lesson about the folly of man.

cool! If it gets warm enough, I'll be able to move somewhere further north-away from the crazy mf-ers here! :)

If they are finding this stuff that was obviously frozen over at one time and now thawing out and we are discovering them. Wouldn't thaat kinda just mean we are going through a weater cycle? Obviously the Icecaps weren't as big then and it got colder and froze things over. Now it's warming and thawing out. how many more years till it gets colder again and things freeze over? IDK just a thought. But that has to be to simple to be true.

It's been cooler than usual so far this year in AZ, so it may be sooner than expected that the icecaps come back!

Same here in WI
I just don't get the global warming thing oops I mean climate change.

What about Santas home at the North Pole?

It was exposed as a cover for a mini-me cloning facility.

Supermans Fortress of Solitude is also up there too

The same with St. Louis. July and August are supposed to be hot and humid here. It wasn't even warm enough for swimming.

Didn't you hear? The bank foreclosed on it.
Besides, when he saw how batman looked in tights, they decided to live together in the Bat Cave.

Understanding global warming, suitable for age 4 and up:

Take a glass of water and put ice in it so some is coming out the top, but it does not touch the bottom, just like the ice caps.

Let it thaw.

Notice it doesnt overflow...because the ice was already displacing itself in its solid form.

Thats whats so funny about the global warming science, a child can prove its bunk as far as man having anything to do with it, and furthermore it raises crop yields and allows farming farther north. Generally periods of warming increase prosperity, a warming trend ended the dark ages...gee, wonder what factories we warmed the atmosphere back then with?..

That's funny....Phoenix broke the record for high temps in July, average high temp was 110!

Cooler than usual? Really? Hahahahaha

I like science.

http://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/player/environment/global-warming-environment/antarctica-ice.html

In my part of town it seems to be. The "official" measurements are taken at Sky Harbor airport, and don't reflect the whole metro area. (I also suspect the heat island effect distorts the accuracy somewhat)

All the burbs of Phoenix are within a degree or two...doesn't matter where you are in the valley.

And it was what, 103 today? Going to be 106 Saturday and 108 on Sunday?

Yup, cooler than usual!

I like science that isnt done by people financed by political groups.

That video contains facts.

I was burning hot here in Tennessee, though we made up in rain for the drought we had for a few years. Or I think we are back to normal.

It's 66 here right now. It'll be 50 during the night. It's been that way for awhile.

So do these links:

http://www.rense.com/general75/oppo.htm


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_warming_controversy

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_scientists_opposing_the_mainstream_scientific_assessment_of_global_warming