Sometimes I get really depressed, and I don't really know why. I mean, I know that I have bills to pay, that the next debt is just around the corner, but that's not it, well at least not all of it. I have 3 jobs, one of them I love, but I only work a couple of days a week, if that, one that I hate, and it's my full time, I'm more at work there then anywhere else. And the third I haven't started yet, so I don't know how that will pan out. I don't have many friends. I'm new in my area, the one friend I have, I'm afraid I'm smothering him. I enjoy hanging out with him, and I feel like when something important in my life happens, I have to share it with him, but I'm thinking that he doesn't feel the same way, he's probably annoyed by me. I don't mean to be annoying, I just have no one else to talk to, and I know that's not fair for him, I just don't know how to make friends on my own. I literally grew up with all of my friends,or met them in college, which is the easiest way to make friends, but they are thousands of miles away. He's a great friend though. Helps me out with so much, and he's very intelligent. But there's a tension going on lately, there was a misunderstanding with a common "friend", and now I feel like I'm walking on a tight rope that is 5 miles long, and I'm about to fall any minute. I want to make things right, but don't know how. I could move back to my original home in MI, but that would accomplish nothing, and I have a career here, even though I hate it. I'm doing well for the first time in my life, I'm responsible, have my own place, etc... But I feel like there is something missing. I don't think it's a man, whenever I think about dating, I think it's too much hassle. This is my rant, thank you for listening.

Talk to him about it. Whatever the issue, it may not be as big as you think. And, don't give up on yourself, no matter what. You're in a good place, keep plugging away! It's not easy for most of us who have moved away to make new friend's. I know this, I've moved far too many time's. Just the way it is. Good luck girl.

Jessica, I have learned a few things in my almost 45 years. A true friend will be there for you to listen to all of what you have to say to them, no matter what time of the day it is, and no matter how much sleep you cost them.

About your guy friend. It sounds like you can't make up your mind if you want to take it further with him. Am I right? Take a seat, and ponder the future of time with him by your side. First as just a friend, and then as a lover. If you can get that done, you might have your answer of if, or when you will take the next step.

I have discovered in the past few years that the one that "got away" from me and I were able to sit and talk for hours about anything, even though we came from different states, had different slants on politics, and religion. What we had in common outweighed all of the differences we had.

She and I still talk on a regular basis, and we stopped dating more than 20 years ago. She is a huge part of my life to this day.

First I am sorry that you are having a bad of it. Moving to a new location, leaving behind everyone you know, finding new work etc etc can be very challenging and it takes time to adjust. When my son made a major move I made him promise me that he would give it a year before he acted on his home sickness (I knew it would happen) and came back. The first year was hard for him in many ways even though his girlfriend was there. It is a huge adjustment for anyone, more for some than others so give yourself some time.

Second, i think you need to talk to your friend, tell him honestly how you feel and give him a chance to confirm or deny that he is feeling smothered by you. Also with honesty, clear up the situation about the mutual friend.

Third, working a job you hate is draining emotionally and physically so if you must keep the jb try to find ways to make it less unpleasant for yourself.

Probably no real help in this but perhaps it will help to know someone listened and feels for your situation.

Wow.
Sometimes we all go through difficult times, and it's really hard to deal with the stressors without someone to share it with.

You mentioned that you have other friends that you moved away from. Do you have someone you could call and talk to?

It would be optimal for you to get involved in a local group where you could meet some people, but it sounds like your jobs keep you pretty busy.

You did the right thing posting to the forum. Because you aren't really alone, you know.

Don't give up...I give you back a quote from your own profile:

"You cannot change fate. However, you can rise to meet it, if you so choose."

Oh no, another misunderstanding, we are just friends, and that is all, no relationship other than that, and I plan on keeping it that way, lol. Thanks for the info though.

Thank you all for your support, lol, was just ranting, it felt good, wasn't really expecting anyone to read it, but thank you again.

You have several issues that you seem to be able to define but not address. Don't feel bad the later is always the hard part. However carrying around so many issues makes for a pretty heavy basket of stones.

Depression is a common and treatable problem. It can be chronic but usually what triggers it is predictable. It is not unusual that allergies and poor health habits amplify the problem.

Bills are a common stressor that again can be managed. Usually living with in your means is the cure. Reality is for most that living alone is a luxery most women can not afford. That said you are not the only hardworking woman in that situation so keep your eyes open and find someone who can share the real estate.

Having three jobs sounds like lunacy. Obviously one has much greater appeal than the other so figureing out why and pointing your career ship in that direction would definitely improve your over all life quality. Not replaceing a job you hate is like standing in the toilet and not expecting your life to stink. The best revenge is finding a better job and moving forward.

I don't buy you don't have friends. You have friends but from the sounds of it you burn them out and or move away from them so working on your friendship skills will reinvigorate the ones you have and make you better at finding new ones. You hit the nail on the head about finding friends at school. So what is keeping you from taking a class and building a few local friendships. You are in a new community with no foundation outside of your work place. Join a group, volunteer, or at least hang out someplace regularly for Sunday brunch. The definition of a friend does not necessarily have to be someone your own age. Older and younger friends can definitely help you keep perspective. Read the same gender profiles in your area and see if any seem like gal pal material write and ask for some tips to the new neighborhood.

If dateing is a hassle then you are doing it wrong. Lighten up. Go out if someone asks and forget about the next date and just have fun. (I am not suggesting getting drunk or dropping your drawers but smile, laugh, dance, and just generally play. It will definitely up the odds of more dates because people who have fun are more attractive. No date go out anyway and have a great meal, take a walk in the park, feed the swans at the zoo, go to a charity funraiser, or local scrimage.

Good luck.

We all go through stages in our lives, and this may be one of yours. You are "growing up". You do need someone to talk to that will make the transition easier. Maybe even talking to a counselor to get your feelings out, and that will help your friendship as well. Good luck to you hun. I think you will come out of this just fine.