(NOTE: We have gigantic stores called, "Wal-Mart" all across our country. Do you have these? Anyways...)
The recruiter at Wal-Mart was looking to hire a new greeter for the front door. She had managed to whittle the big stack of applications down to just five applicants.
"I wonder how I can discern who, amongst these remaining five applicants, will be our new greeter?, she wondered. Then, she smiled, as a simple solution came to her.
On the final day of the interview process, she asked that the first applicant come in and take a seat. A young woman came in. During the course of the interview, the recruiter asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
The woman thought a minute and said, "A WINK! I tend to drive too quickly through the intersection, and give a quick wink to the traffic cop there. I've never gotten a ticket!"
The recruiter said, "A wink, eh? Good answer! We'll get back with you concerning our decision. Next, please!"
An older gentleman walked in. In the course of the interview, the recruiter again asked what was the fastest thing the applicant could think of.
"Why, a BLINK! We blink all the time, and it happens so quickly, we scarcely notice it. It happens in the blink of an eye, lol!"
The recruiter seemed impressed, thanked him, and called for the next applicant.
A young man walked in. "What is the fastest thing you can think of"?, the recruiter asked.
"A THOUGHT!", the young man said. "We have thoughts running in and out of our heads, and they are instantaneous!" The recruiter said, "Great answer. We'll get back with you. Next!"
A woman walked in. After pleasantries, the recruiter asked, "What is the fastest thing you can think of?" The woman thought a minute, then said, "LIGHT! Light comes and goes at the flicking of a switch!" The recruiter was quite impressed. "Very good answer! We'll get back with you. Next!"
In walked a man wearing overalls, a cap, hunting boots, and a scruffy beard. As he sat before the recruiter, he stuffed a wad of chewing tobacco into his mouth. A bit of brown spittle ran down into his beard.
The recruiter was unruffled, and saw his name on the application before her. After pleasantries, the recruiter asked, "Mr. Bubba, what is the fastest thing you can think of?" The man immediately replied, "DIARRHEA!" The recruiter was shocked. "Diarrhea??? Well, I must say that is the most unusual answer to this question I've had all day! Why diarrhea?
Bubba spit tobacco juice into a cup, and farted. "Well, as I was goin' home from the tractor pull last night, I had to "go" real bad. I tore off for the house, and before I could WINK, BLINK, THINK, or TURN ON THE BATHROOM LIGHT, I HAD SHAT MY PANTS!"
"Bubba" is now the new greeter at Wal-Mart!
A little of what we call here in the Old South, "Redneck humor".

Loved it!

"Why shoot fire man, we got a Walmart on every dang corner!