The Art of Living
By Jack E Stowe

Just as the planets follow a pattern in their path around the sun, life itself follows a pattern. All life follows this pattern. The planets can not go off in a different direction and nether can you or I. Our lives can not escape the path that life has set for us. All we can do is to perceive this pattern and attune our selves to it. We all have a mechanism for sensing the pattern of life. The mechanism is our emotions or feelings. When we are at peace and content we are in tune with that pattern, and the more we feel uncomfortable the greater we are resisting what we are and what we need to do.

Life is lived in the moment. The past is dead and the future is only a dream. All that really exist does so in the now. Everything in the now affects you and you affect everything in the now. No one can change the past or know the future. The first rule in the art of Living is “LIVE IN THE NOW !!”

Every person who has ever lived struggles with the same five needs.
1. Safety
2. Comfort
3. Companionship
4. Health
5. Understanding

How he sees and tries to meet these needs is what makes each one unique. We learn from our environment and experience. Most of the patterns we see in life are set in our first five years and then enforced by our experience. The trouble is that much of what we learned is wrong and we do not take time to question our Beliefs. It is these false beliefs that are at the base of all our pain, anxiety, and fears.

Let us look at some of these false beliefs:

1. That others are smarter than we are,
Others may have more experience or education in some things but that does not mean that they are any smarter.
2. Others have our best interest at heart.
There is no way that they can know what is best for us. No one can know the future so no one can know what is best. What worked for them may not work for you and what did not work for them may be the best thing you can do,
3. That what has happened in the past will happen again.
Everything that happens for an extremely complex and unique set of reasons. The idea that that unique set of reasons will happen again is beyond even the possibility of happening.
4. That you are responsible for what other people think, feel, or do.
No one has the power to make you do what you do not want to do and You do not have the power to make them do anything.
At every moment, everyone has to make their own choice. Do not blame others for your choice or let them blame you for theirs.
5. That you will be judged by what you do.
Every moment your choices create you anew. What we call the past is just a memory of our previously creations. No one can judge what you have created but you, just as you can not judge the creation of another.
6. That you will make a choice that will affect you whole life.
Every choice you make not only creates a new you but a new world for you to live in. Your life is limited only by the choices you choose to make.




Distortions in Thinking

1. All or nothing thinking
2. Over generalization
3. Mental Filter
4. Disqualifying the positive
5. Jumping to conclusions
6. Magnification or Minimization.
7. Emotional Reasoning
8. Should and shouldn’t statements
9. Labeling
10. Personalization

These thoughts that we all have distort our thinking and prevent us from seeing the world as it is in reality. They are the main cause of our inability to cope effectively with our every day problems, and see the true value in ourselves and others. If we will learn to recognize these distortions of thought in ourselves and others our ability to cope and enjoy life will be greatly enhanced.

1. All or Nothing Thinking
a. We do not live in a black and white world.
b. Life contains all the colors of the rainbow
2. Over Generalization.
a. Although things may look the same each is unique.
b. You must look for the uniqueness in each.
3. Mental Filter.
a. This confuses what you are seeing now with what you have seen in the past.
b. You must not confuse one thing with the other.
4. Disqualifying the Positive.
a. To see the good in life you must look for the good in all things.
b. If you take the positive for normal you will overlook most of the good things in the world.
5. Jumping to Conclusions.
a. Conclusions are based on the facts you know so do not make any until you have had time to examine the facts.
b. All new situations have new elements to examine
6. Magnification and Minimization.
a. It is far to easy to overestimate or discount the importance of things in you life.
b. This leads only to mistakes and disappointment.
7. Emotional Reasoning.
a. Your feelings or your bodies reactions to you thoughts, and both or in a continuous state of change.
b. Do not depend on how you feel it will soon change.

8. Should and Shouldn’t statements.
a. These or based on what was done by others in other situations and have no bearing on your current situation.
b. Using Should statements puts an unrealistic urgency and feelings of gilt into your mind.
9. Labeling.
a. When you label anything you think of it as the label and do not see its uniqueness.
b. Once you label something you can not recognize the real object.
10. Personalization.
a. To own or see something as yours magnifies it beyond all realistic per portions.
b. The only thing that you can call yours is your awareness.




The Art of Living


Just as the planets follow a pattern in their path around the sun, life itself follows a pattern. All life follows this pattern. The planets can not go off in a different direction and nether can you or I. Our lives can not escape the path that life has set for us. All we can do is to perceive this pattern and attune our selves to it. We all have a mechanism for sensing the pattern of life. The mechanism is our emotions or feelings. When we are at peace and content we are in tune with that pattern, and the more we feel uncomfortable the greater we are resisting what we are and what we need to do.

Life is lived in the moment. The past is dead and the future is only a dream. All that really exist does so in the now. Everything in the now affects you and you affect everything in the now. No one can change the past or know the future. The first rule in the art of Living is “LIVE IN THE NOW !!”

Every person who has ever lived struggles with the same five needs.
1. Safety
2. Comfort
3. Companionship
4. Health
5. Understanding

How he sees and tries to meet these needs is what makes each one unique. We learn from our environment and experience. Most of the patterns we see in life are set in our first five years and then enforced by our experience. The trouble is that much of what we learned is wrong and we do not take time to question our Beliefs. It is these false beliefs that are at the base of all our pain, anxiety, and fears.

Let us look at some of these false beliefs:

1. That others are smarter than we are,
Others may have more experience or education in some things but that does not mean that they are any smarter.
2. Others have our best interest at heart.
There is no way that they can know what is best for us. No one can know the future so no one can know what is best. What worked for them may not work for you and what did not work for them may be the best thing you can do,
3. That what has happened in the past will happen again.
Everything that happens for an extremely complex and unique set of reasons. The idea that that unique set of reasons will happen again is beyond even the possibility of happening.
4. That you are responsible for what other people think, feel, or do.
No one has the power to make you do what you do not want to do and You do not have the power to make them do anything.
At every moment, everyone has to make their own choice. Do not blame others for your choice or let them blame you for theirs.
5. That you will be judged by what you do.
Every moment your choices create you anew. What we call the past is just a memory of our previously creations. No one can judge what you have created but you, just as you can not judge the creation of another.
6. That you will make a choice that will affect you whole life.
Every choice you make not only creates a new you but a new world for you to live in. Your life is limited only by the choices you choose to make.




Distortions in Thinking

1. All or nothing thinking
2. Over generalization
3. Mental Filter
4. Disqualifying the positive
5. Jumping to conclusions
6. Magnification or Minimization.
7. Emotional Reasoning
8. Should and shouldn’t statements
9. Labeling
10. Personalization

These thoughts that we all have distort our thinking and prevent us from seeing the world as it is in reality. They are the main cause of our inability to cope effectively with our every day problems, and see the true value in ourselves and others. If we will learn to recognize these distortions of thought in ourselves and others our ability to cope and enjoy life will be greatly enhanced.

1. All or Nothing Thinking
a. We do not live in a black and white world.
b. Life contains all the colors of the rainbow
2. Over Generalization.
a. Although things may look the same each is unique.
b. You must look for the uniqueness in each.
3. Mental Filter.
a. This confuses what you are seeing now with what you have seen in the past.
b. You must not confuse one thing with the other.
4. Disqualifying the Positive.
a. To see the good in life you must look for the good in all things.
b. If you take the positive for normal you will overlook most of the good things in the world.
5. Jumping to Conclusions.
a. Conclusions are based on the facts you know so do not make any until you have had time to examine the facts.
b. All new situations have new elements to examine
6. Magnification and Minimization.
a. It is far to easy to overestimate or discount the importance of things in you life.
b. This leads only to mistakes and disappointment.
7. Emotional Reasoning.
a. Your feelings or your bodies reactions to you thoughts, and both or in a continuous state of change.
b. Do not depend on how you feel it will soon change.

8. Should and Shouldn’t statements.
a. These or based on what was done by others in other situations and have no bearing on your current situation.
b. Using Should statements puts an unrealistic urgency and feelings of gilt into your mind.
9. Labeling.
a. When you label anything you think of it as the label and do not see its uniqueness.
b. Once you label something you can not recognize the real object.
10. Personalization.
a. To own or see something as yours magnifies it beyond all realistic per portions.
b. The only thing that you can call yours is your awareness.

Very nice .
.

Double Post.