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Topic: My latest attempt
Monier's photo
Wed 08/26/09 09:29 PM
Edited by Monier on Wed 08/26/09 09:29 PM
I've known this lady my age personally for over a year, and we've been intimate for around a month now. I spend the weekends with her right now and she lives 6 hours from me so I guess you could say this is a long distance relationship.

I was there for her during very stressful times in her life, international child custody trials etc. I've been her pillar of strength. Her tribulations are over and we have been growing close. So close that there has been talk of the possibility of moving. I don't come to a decision like that easily and I've been leaning that way. She thinks about me all the time and often speaks of the time we spend together.

So here comes the next part, problem time. She spends time with a 'friend' of course a guy that she's liked for a long time. I really have no problem with this since we had no commitment until recently and I feel that she's been honest with me except for a few things that make no sense to me.

1. She spends time with him even though he's made it clear he wants no relationship and would just like to bang her. She's expressed disgust with this in the past. That is not my definition of 'friend'.

2. They do things together like fishing and riding ATV's. I had no clue until tonight that drinking was a part of it.

3. She told me this week that the next time she see's him (tonight) that she would let him know that she could'nt spend time with him anymore because of us. (Totally her idea)

4. They hung out tonight. I called her when she would normally go to bed, wondering if she was ok. no answer (she must be tired) I caller her again a few minutes later to leave a msg and say goodnight (straight to voicemail).

I'm pretty pissed right now. Do you think I have the right to be?

I was in a pretty bad accident yesterday and it's a miracle that I walked away unscathed so you can imagine that I am a little edgy.

As of now I don't find myself interested in her at all now that I know she is safe. Am I throwing away a good thing here?

I just don't have any answers to my own questions tonight.

msmyka's photo
Wed 08/26/09 09:31 PM
Edited by msmyka on Wed 08/26/09 09:32 PM
You need to step back completely until she decides she doesn't want him anymore... even if she says he's "just" a friend. She should have known that you would want to talk to her after spending time with this guy.

Jeff0828's photo
Wed 08/26/09 09:33 PM
Edited by Jeff0828 on Wed 08/26/09 09:33 PM


Curious.. but give yourself some time to cool off before making any rash choices.

Meg8771's photo
Wed 08/26/09 09:38 PM
flowerforyou

writer_gurl's photo
Wed 08/26/09 09:40 PM
Wowsurprised

Sounds like she is blowing you off because of this other " friend" Personally I think she doesn't have the guts to tell him anything(which would be a slutty thing to do)No Offense...Just wait a day or two and see if you can get the whole story of what she is doong and what she wants

flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou

Monier's photo
Wed 08/26/09 09:43 PM
I'm going to try really hard to not make a decision right away. I'm supposed to fly down to her on friday. I'm not sure if I should.

anthsm22's photo
Wed 08/26/09 09:43 PM
Hang in there brother.....communication is everything and sucks when your not getting it, but dont assume anything!!!! just wait till tomarrow and youve time to cool off

artman48's photo
Wed 08/26/09 09:45 PM
Love of o woman can make a man not think----think this one out--In the 60's i all-most went AWOL for a woman---would have been jail time. anyway your young and the world is full of nice women---remember that.

writer_gurl's photo
Wed 08/26/09 09:45 PM

I'm going to try really hard to not make a decision right away. I'm supposed to fly down to her on friday. I'm not sure if I should.

Okay then, get the answers you are looking for before you leave...If she isn't truthful with you don't go

daniel48706's photo
Wed 08/26/09 09:46 PM

Wowsurprised

Sounds like she is blowing you off because of this other " friend" Personally I think she doesn't have the guts to tell him anything(which would be a slutty thing to do)No Offense...Just wait a day or two and see if you can get the whole story of what she is doong and what she wants

flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou


Keep in mind also that you said there has been drinking involved in the past, so to play the opposite side, maybe its just a case of her being unable to drive home, or something like that? Totally innocent, but confusing when yuo dont know the details.

I agree with waiting a day or so till you calm down and can discuss this with her rationally. If it turns out htat somethign HAS happened, then you will at least be calm, ant do anything rash. If it is somethign innocent, then yuo save yourself some embarassment for the future (of course embarassment saaving can add up fast so b careful on that issue :wink:)

AndyBgood's photo
Wed 08/26/09 10:01 PM
Uh OH! Trust issue alert!

DANGER

DANGER WILL ROBINSON!

Personally I would know a lot better than to buy that. If she is hanging with a "friend" and drinking together that is a recipe for controversial behavior. When alcohol is involved one thing EASILY leads to another.

I hate to say this but DOG SCHOOL IS OPEN!

I think you are being played.

Yeah talk to her but I would see if I could get some 411 from others local to her like is homeboy spending the night with her.

Now personally I have had women as friends and gotten drunk at their houses but it is different sleeping on their couch vs. sleeping in bed with them.

On top of that he is also 'interested' in her.

I say tread carefully, breaking ff sooner may spare you greater heartbreak later!

Just bear in mind we are all fuqued up one way or another. If you break away do not do it in anger!

G'luck mate!drinker

InkedMilitaryMan's photo
Wed 08/26/09 10:02 PM
Real talk man, chicks change their mind like they change tampons. So if there's another dude in the picture, you know he's going for the same **** you are no matter what she says. Just be wary.

Monier's photo
Wed 08/26/09 10:12 PM
She's on the phone right now.


She's asking me not to ask her what happened tonight

Monier's photo
Wed 08/26/09 10:13 PM
and she wants to tell me now.

msmyka's photo
Wed 08/26/09 10:15 PM
Sounds bad, sorry man flowerforyou

Jess642's photo
Wed 08/26/09 10:20 PM

I'm going to try really hard to not make a decision right away. I'm supposed to fly down to her on friday. I'm not sure if I should.


Monier....please fly down this Friday....and discuss all of this with her....how you feel, what you want, and allow her an opportunity to decide also.


You have the right to your feelings, however, you need to talk this through with her.


then decide....

Jess642's photo
Wed 08/26/09 10:21 PM

and she wants to tell me now.


uh oh............scared

TxsSun's photo
Wed 08/26/09 10:24 PM
Wow sorry, doesn't sound good.

no photo
Wed 08/26/09 10:27 PM
It might not be bad - maybe its good

HawaiiMusikMan's photo
Wed 08/26/09 10:29 PM

It might not be bad - maybe its good


Hope so

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