A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful
morning........

Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table.

He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. 'Who's been eating my
porridge?'
he squeaks.

Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks
into his big bowl and it is also empty. 'Who's been eating my
porridge?!?' he roars.

Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and
yells, 'For God's sake, how many times do I have to go through this with
you idiots? It was Mummy Bear who got up first. It was Mummy Bear who
woke everyone in the house. It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee. It
was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put
everything away.
It was Mummy Bear who swept the floor in the kitchen. It was Mummy Bear
who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch The newspaper and
croissants. It was Mummy Bear who set the damn table. 'It was Mummy Bear
who walked the bloody dog, cleaned the cat's litter tray, gave them
their food, and refilled their water.

'And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-***** downstairs
and grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully,
because I'm only going to say this once....



'I HAVEN'T MADE THE F***ING PORRIDGE YET!!!'