I'm looking for the honest truth as to why i'm never approached...

do you want the truth or a lie?

um...honest truth

Honestly, some guys don't exactly want kids to be involved in the relationships immediately, it's hard to spend time with someone when you have to take care of your kids.

Also, get your name out there, post on the forums and don't be afraid to match with or message someone who looks nice.

yeah, i thought it might be the kid thing, but i'm not really interested in guys without kids (just the HUGE difference in lifestyles), so I'd think guys with kids wouldn't mind that I have kids....

any opinions on that?

Don't expect as many replies then, you don't see many single fathers who have custody.

i wasn't meaning exactly dads with full custody. just dads in general...

If you have kids, and a guy is not interested in you because of that, you wouldn't want anything to do with him anyway.

indeed

yeah, lewis, i agree 100%....

but that leads back to my original question - why does no one approach me or respond to my emails??? is this a site for kid-free singles and i didn't get the memo ;)

I have kids so I guess I didn't get the memo either...

You have only posted 9 times! Hang out more. I have been around for over a thousand posts and haven't dated one guy here yet. Don't give up...and welcome!

Also, I don't have kids and I know there are men out there my age so what the___?

Really - Maybe its my dogs? LOL

its just like the real world

you have to put yourself out there. see and be seen. be charming charismatic and persuasive

just because you're on the internet doesnt mean someone will magically find you any more than having a phone means that someone will magically call you

hang out in the forums and get to know some people. you might only make some great friends. but friends always seem to have good looking other friends

It's not just you Bizee, don't think that. There are many of us here in the same boat. Good things will come your way, maybe when you least expect it! Don't get discouraged.

Well, if you want rough honesty, you came to the right guy. However, I don't think this will hurt too bad.

Look, I see from your profile that your a Mom and you have a job, but other than the fact that you like a good margarita (really who doesn't), I don't know a lot about you.

For example no one is going to say "is cruel to animals" in a profile. So the fact that you like animals really tells me nothing. How do you help, do you have pets or just volunteer at a vet clinic or something. I enjoy the beauty of an animal in nature myself, but would never own a housepet so while I like animals, saying as much doesn't tell you an accurate story..

I don't explain myself well so I hope you see where I am going. You need to put a little more of yourself out there. Let a guy see the real you. I keep adding things to my profile all the time, haven't ever removed a thing.

Look it seems that women believe that they are the only ones that try to guard themselves or shield themselves from possible heartbreak. Most people aren't going to take a chance on something unless they have some descent information to work with. The better a profile of yourself you paint, the more comments you'll get on your artwork. Like anything else it's all just a work in progress.

1. If you want more guys to approach you, you might need to "slut it up a bit" as Lex and Terry say. Not saying that you have to look like a tramp, but dresses, skirts, a little makeup, etc. goes a long way.

Sounds superficial? Welcome to our screwed up society.

Fact of the matter is that when you're browsing profile's 9/10 of getting clicked on and having someone actually read the profile is your primary picture. And 9/10 of catching eyes with someone when you're out and about is how you present yourself.

This is why the only people I meet in public don't care about how I dress. I'm always in jeans and a t-shirt. I don't mind wearing a suit, but my attire is both easy and it acts as a buffer so that I don't get gold diggers. It does drop my "hit count" quite a bit though and I get ignored most of the time until people spend some time talking to me.

2. Profile might be a bit short, embelesh a bit. I find that 2-3 paragraphs on your page is the proper amount. Gives the reader plenty of information about you while not being too long or laborious to read.

3. At least one pic that shows more than your face. You may think them superficial for wanting to see more, but guys will sometimes tend to think that you are hiding something if all you have is face shots. Sometimes that will evolve into distrust by the time they get done reading the profile, and without trust... you know?

4. What everyone else said about the kids, they are going to be a bit of a deterrant, but you need to keep it honest and keep 'em on the profile. Perhaps dressing up the rest of your profile a bit (more pics, longer description) will offset that some but it is what it is. Personally in my life I've taken care of a lot of kids that were not mine and I really don't want to anymore, because when breakup time rolls around your breaking it off with the kids too. There have been times when I would have gladly kept the kids and told mommy to kiss off, but that doesn't happen and rightfully so.

--end note I'm making generalized statements about human nature. Please don't take this as a personal insult or waste time trying to tell me what a jerk I am. She wanted honesty and there it is from what I've observed and studied about human nature.

Good advice.

It doesn't matter what you write on your profile. Write a lot, write a little. I am rarely approached here and I have had tried both with my profile. And, I don't think I'm alone in this. Just get to know people in the forums and keep your expectations low. Eventually you'll meet "him". Either here or somewhere else. Good luck to you.