I just got back from a trip to visit my Dad and Mom in Atlanta,Ga I live in Gainesville,Fl. I found out through a posting from my sister on Face Book My mom could not remember my number they had all but one of the digits right. So she sent me the message. I called and he is stable but not breathing on his own and was put on a kidney machine. I wanted to say that I suffer from clinical depression not just from events like thus but I battle day to day things. I went through a 3 year program for Veterans here in Gainesville who have mental illness and Recovery issues. I was the only one there that just had depression and Alcoholic problems I have been in recovery for almost 4 years now . I had a Brain Tumor removed in june of 2003 and filed for Social Security benefits and was grated at a hearing in Atlanta on December of 2006. And So I am retired now. I have been in Gainesville for 3 years now.And I went to a AA meeting last night one of my friends well the only friend that I have right now was chairing the meeting. So I decided that it was better than sitting home by myself Something I am good at. I went down there and I told them what I was going through, In received support there on what they did and heard what not to do as well A lot of people drink when they are faced with a crisses but I am doig good there. I did think about it though mainly because I am alone and not dating anyone. I guess I just feel like I could deal with this better if I was not so very alone. I am not dating anyone so there is not anyone here with me to help me cope with the pain of having my Dad on Life support. I do know that I would not help things any by drinking. So I am doing my best to get through this alone. I don't have any credit cards so I have to live off what I get every month on SSDI I had to plan the trip up there as far as income goes. So when I got back Sunday I did not know about this until Wednesday afternoon. I had already gone to the grocery store and I checked my account after the trip up there and I have less than 200.00 in the bank So I called my Sister and she said that there was nothing I could do but wait and she understood that I had just come back there this past Sunday. I always thought I was strong but I did cry a lot and also in the meeting as well. I have not had to go through this alone before. When my ex wifes Mom died I was there with her. So now I am dealing with this alone. My Best friend has her own life and is dating someone working as a CNA so she does nit have a lot of time. I really wish at a time like this that I was dating someone of had someone to call. I evenn thought about calling my ex wife but there was so much abuse there in the last 6 years that I don't want to get started again with that. I don't have any contact with her and she wrote my parents asking for money recently My Dad told me when I was up there he asked if I wanted to see the letter but I said no. I don't want to have any contact with someone that abused me as well as her own 90 year old father as well. So right now I am on here I guess seeking some support. I have not been active in the AA group here I do go to aboiut 2 meetings a week but I am not doing any service work. When I had the Surgery for the Brain Tumor one of the side effects is that I get really tried after I do any errands in the car or just clean the house I have to take a nap SO my energy level is not what it was before I am on about 10 different medications I have chronic pain form Arthritis in my hip and my back so the VA doctor has me on Methadone and Morphine for pain. I am very careful and I don't use the Morphine unless I start getting bad pain in my back and hip areas.So thats what I am dealing with now. I fished the VA program so now I don't have the weekly groups at the outpatient area of the VA here anymore. So I do spend a lot of time alone at home here. I live by myself just me and my Cat Muff. I did have a roommate Melissa was living at my old apartment before I moved in here until they had a yearly inspection there. And I was sneaking her in there. She was not on the lease or in the Gainesville Housing Authority program, So she had to move in with her boyfriend at the time. Now I have been living by myself for over a year. I do want to start dating again but I am kind of shy about asking anyone out. I will go up there if anything changes but my Sister and my Mom said they will call if I need to be there. MY Mom is not at the house there she is staying with different relatives at night the hospital said that she cane be there at night alone because she was wondering around different rooms one night there the nurse told me. She has been forgetting things and did ask me 3 different times the same thing MY sister and my uncle are there to help and my Sisters daughter Ashley is in the Clearwater,Fl area opf Fl here. I don't have her phone number but my Sister has been calling her every day or so. I have not heard from anyone there, but MY mom and my Sister have my home number. I dont have my cell phone on right now It was on Suspension but now it ios canceled through T Mobil So I don't use the cell so I have not turned the phone back on. I would need the phone when I go back up there. As it is with my Mom not at their house I don't have anywhere to stay there. My Sister has my Moms keys to the Car she drove there last Sunday and the House keys So If I do go back she would have to leave the Keys with someone at the Hospital. Right now there is nothing to do but wait and pray that my Dad wakes up. So she said to stay here for now.

Frank Duffey

you have my prayers
and if you need to talk just email me

prayers are said

u have my prayer's and thought's r wit u.if u need or want to talk mail me it might take a few to get back but i wil.i'm getting ready for surg my self next wens.i wil light a candle for yer dad and let it burn keep the faith and say a lot of prayer's as u and yers will b rememberd in mine

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."


I say this to myself all the time.


Email me anytime you need some support, or just want a friend to talk to.

xo

Keep comin back.

Wish you the best.

Prayers sent to you and yours