Topic: how far are you willing to go...
ellgee1976's photo
Tue 05/22/07 11:43 AM
when i decided to get divorced, i looked for an apt, got the keys, and
was waiting on him to get served, that way i could move, and bring our
daughter (at the time she was only 18 months old) with me.

i got a lawyer out of town so he wouldn't find out (talk in a small town
travels really fast)

he got a lawyer IN town, so..the race was on..who was gonna get served
first? who would get temporary residential custody of our daughter?

as Murphy's Law would have it, it was i who got served first.. the day
before he did, so i moved out, but his papers said our daughter was
going to stay with him.

now, for the next year, he tried to prove me unfit, i was investigated 3
different times, before Child Protection Services saw it for what it
was.. a 'smear campaign"

in the end, he proved nothing, and i was awarded shared custody, (the
only way to get full or joint custody, was to prove him unfit, and i
couldn't do that) so..i get her from 7a-7pm daily according to the
papers, but in reality, i get her from 7am- whenever he gets in from the
field to pick her up. (sometimes that's 9pm)



now, my reason for this post...

yes we've been living apart for 2 yrs, there's nothing in this town for
me, no family, and few friends... job oportunity? what's that?
however, i won't move to another town, not til she can decide legally
that she wants to live with me. i won't have her thinking or feeling
that i've abandonded her. i know if i move, he'll play that card, along
with his family, to the fullest, and she'll be hurt even more.

now, if i find someone else (a man obviously lol) he's either gonna have
to be in town, or move to town... for this reason alone.

so..my future's pretty solid..i'll either be single til she's old enough
to live with me, or i'll find someone in town

my question is..how far are YOU willing to go for your 'relationship'?
are there ppl here that would actually MOVE to another town? are you
capable of leaving the town you're in?? for this type of reason?

i'll be interested in seeing some replies

ellgee1976's photo
Tue 05/22/07 11:57 AM
c'mon people, this is a serious post, im pushing this up cuz i want some
replies, what are your thoughts on it?

karmafury's photo
Tue 05/22/07 12:03 PM
If I found the right I'd move. Haven't got much holding me to one
location.

Easyboy's photo
Tue 05/22/07 12:03 PM
For the right reasons i would move and have done so before.

mtironroses's photo
Tue 05/22/07 12:08 PM
Due to my career, I can't right now, but I would consider it

uk1971's photo
Tue 05/22/07 12:09 PM
I live in Germany, and the person I'm really close to lives in PA.
(6000 miles) So do you think that's far enough to moveglasses

oldsage's photo
Tue 05/22/07 12:11 PM
Looks like your between a rock & a hard spot.

I will not consider moving for 6 more yrs. Son will retire from navy &
where they go, I may go; things depend.

If I was you I'd be looking for a something you can do from home.
Unless he gets a change of heart & you 2 can work something out. Soon
she'll be in school & your actual time with her will be lessened.

pms64's photo
Tue 05/22/07 12:24 PM
Have done it before, and will do it again, if needed when I find Mr.
Right.
PMS

davinci1952's photo
Tue 05/22/07 12:50 PM
move on..it may be the best decision you will make..
things have a way of working out...

ellgee1976's photo
Tue 05/22/07 01:53 PM
umm...move on??

leave my daughter? i don't think so...not for anything..

Jess642's photo
Tue 05/22/07 02:57 PM
Children first...

I would also stay put, possibly study from home, to further my potential
of better work, in another town, when she is old enough.

I feel the saddest part is that your life is governed by a person who is
able to dictate where you live for the next how many years?

Because he can move, cant he?

As can you, however you choose not to, for your daughter's sake.

I commend you for putting her first, and for committing to your child,
first and foremost.

A partner will turn up, when they are meant to, even if it is ten years
time, for me, I would just get busy with my daughter.

MsTeddyBear2u's photo
Tue 05/22/07 03:02 PM
I would move for someone- only because I don't have little

kids anymore. I applaud you ellgee1976 for staying put where

your at till she is older. I hope you find someone real

speical...that will move to where you are. flowerforyou

ellgee1976's photo
Tue 05/22/07 03:33 PM
Jess, yeah..he can move..but i know he won't...he's a farmer..his roots
are firmly planted so to speak...

if he wanted to move, he has to clear it with me first, i CAN and WILL
opose it ..

but however, if he did move, i'd move also..i won't allow him to try to
remove me from her life..i was the number 1 care-giver and still am..she
still needs me

the only thing that has changed in her life, is mom's location

no photo
Tue 05/22/07 04:05 PM
((((LG))) We've talked about this before a lil bit, I feel for ya I do,
I still got not answers though....as far as me moving when the time is
right I'll go...but my situation is so different from your's...maybe
he'll get hit on the head and some sense will get knocked into him ( ok
I said maybe)

ellgee1976's photo
Tue 05/22/07 08:36 PM
lmao CCP

*hugs* that's why i love ya girl..one could only hope

no photo
Tue 05/22/07 08:37 PM
bigsmile it could be arranged ya know LOL

no photo
Tue 05/22/07 08:41 PM
My bags are packed and im ready to go......
YES,,I would and could move very easily to another state or
any where MY LADY would be in....!:heart: flowerforyou

no photo
Tue 05/22/07 08:46 PM
I WOULD MOVE BUT NOT UNTIL I SEE MY SON THRU COLLEGE AS I DID THE ELDEST
SON!
MADE THE COMMITTMENT MANY YEARS AGO AND I AM GOING TO STICK BY MY
CHOICE!bigsmile

(((LG)))
GOOD LUCK GURL!AND IF YOURE AS GOOD A MOM AS YOU ARE A FRIEND,SHELL
CHOOSE TO LIVE WITH YOU!

AND IM SURE YOU AREflowerforyou flowerforyou

unsure's photo
Tue 05/22/07 08:50 PM
My children are #1..so with that being said...if I had to stay put I
would do it. I am not allowed to leave the state of Indiana nor can I
move more then 100 miles unless I go to court and get permission.
I also have joint custody but I have physical custody...so I have my
boys ALL the time! Thank God!! He is allowed to get them every other
weekend and every other holiday if he wants to take them...does he? NO,
but thats fine by me!
I have to say this, I think that most of us would do anything for our
children. This even includes waiting to live our lives when they are
gone :smile: Good luck on your situation, I am sure that everything
will work out for you flowerforyou

ellgee1976's photo
Tue 05/22/07 08:53 PM
thx nascar and unsure..

just like most parents..i'd do anything in my power for my
kids..including stayin put lol