Well, lets see... they argued all the time...


I slept between then til I was 12..


I KNOW there was no sex going on there...


I dont think THEY know what the hell it was about.


My mother doesnt like anyone I meet, theyre all evil.


My father just lives his every day hoping I meet rich guy that will let him live with us so that he doesnt have to go into a home when hes really old.


They dont know.

Theres no way I could discuss sex with them.


They just tell me to be moral.

it would creep me out if they'd told me stuff. they were going to tell me the "birds and the bees" when i was 6, but i already knew. they didn't believe me until i explained it to them. they were a bit shocked and it woke them up to the fact that growing up in the 80s was a lot different than growing up in the 50s. at the age they were watching "leave it to beaver" i was finding out about beaver.

My mom said if I got a girl pregnant, now matter what color she was I would be getting married to her.
My dad said to be careful.

Other than that....
Be on time to pick her up, do not pull up and honk the horn, meet her parents, be sure they know where you are going-what you are doing.
Have plenty of cash, its embarrassing to have to ask your date for money.

nope i learned from Hustler

no matter what color she was? what kind of women were you messing around with? aliens?

nope, only thing my mom told me was sex was evil ,unless within the bonds of marriage, and that if I kissed a boy while wearing a bathing suit I could get pregnant.

my dad said,

"If you ever feel like getting married just find a woman who hates you and buy her a house.

and if you DO get married then marry a fat ugly biotch. That way no one will try to steal her from you. And if they do, who cares?"