So, I just got off the phone with my most recent ex-girlfriend. We talked for about an hour about life, how things are going and such, and it occurred to me. If she would have had some of the realizations about life that she's having right now, things may have worked out between us. As it stands, her ex-husband and her are getting back together, which is great. Her kids are exited, and she sounds like she's finally pulling her life back together. I am truly happy for her.

But another weird thing occured to me while we were talking. This always happens to me. I spend months in a dead-end relationship with no future trying to help out here and there, just throw in my two cents when the moment is right, and give some guidance. Then a month after the breakup they end up doing all the things I was trying to encourage while we were dating and their life seems to right itself. Seems a very peculiar phenomenon. She even told me about some habits of mine that she now understands from her new perspective and how much better off she is now.

Even though I'll probably be lonely for the rest of my life I guess I can take some comfort in the fact that people's lives seem to change for the better after knowing me. Thoughts? Anyone else seem to be stuck in this scenario?

Hmm, I'm curious, did you specifically mention she and her ex-husband's situation when giving advice or help, or mention any other men period? I've learned the hard way about that. If I mention past women that I was interested in it seems to make a woman feel strange, like she is being compared to another. Also, she may try to compare you with her past relationships and find an excuse to get rid of you if she doesn't want to deal with habits or anything about you for that matter. That was a mouthful...and I hope it makes sense, lol.

Anyway, I believe that when being involved with a woman make it about you and her...no third party (of course the children situation is a bit different). But I mean just focus on how you can make her happy with you. But also, why did you both break up?

I really hope this will not continue to happen to you. You sound like a great man that truly cares about his woman being happy, and I believe you will make a woman very happy someday with that kind of heart. Stay true to who you are.

No, I made no mention of her ex-husband, she talked about him plenty. But she was, shall we say, a bit of a "sauce monster." Not necessarily a problem but the sauce was screwing her life up. She was unfocused and pretty much acted like a sixteen year old most of the time. That said, I talk to her now and she sounds like an adult. Like I said, really happy for her.

Wow, I didn't know all the circumstances. I hope that you find a lady who has no prior attachments. That seems to be the type of lady you need, since your recent ex-girlfriend was obviously still way to attached to her ex-husband.

Trying not to sound cocky here. I'm just telling honestly.but two of my exes already admitted to me that after being with me as a g/f they see things differently and they already regretted dumping me. One feels she rushed dumping me for a guy with more money and better job, while the other never really loved me and now she is sorry about it, because she can't find anyone really loves her. They are friends, all my exes (3) are in a friendly status with me, because I can't really keep enemies. Not sure how I changed them, but maybe make them appreciate small things instead of superficial stuff that has no real value. They know well, they can't turn the time back, I moved on.

hit the nail on the head

Be glad you made a positive difference in someone's life; not everyone can say that.

And to the person who suggested you find someone with no prior attachments, I assume you mean a woman who's never had a bf or a husband before? Yeah, good luck finding that.

Well, they're out there, my friend.

so you're recommending he date a virgin or an ex nun (still a virgin)?

Heh, I doubt all nuns are virgins...and he could date a virgin. What's wrong with that?

By the way, I'm not suggesting anything about him dating a virgin...where did I say that?

quit giving advice and go for it yourself

I agree. You may want others to be happy, but your happiness matters, too.

If that is true..can we meet because my life could use some "righting"

May I ask you, why were you initially attracted to a woman that had a drinking problem?

And why did you remain in a partnership where you weren't loved, a dead end relationship?

I find this fascinating....is it possible you like to 'rescue'?

Or are attracted to women that are less?

I find this a little flawed, is all...you are attracted to women with 'issues'...give them good advice, they move on, grow, and move into healthier relationships...and you don't...

Perhaps working on yourself, may help you be attracted to healthier women?

Co-Dependent?

I'll take dysfunctional relationships for $500 Alex.

Seems to be what I'm here for, but I can't PM you b/c I'm a smoker, lol!!!