I'm not one for airing personal laundry for the public eye, but I'm to the point of being seriously worried about my best friend. I've run out of ideas, so am hoping someone else has something that I haven't tried.

She has been married for 13 years, and they have a son with Asperger's. She is a stay at home mother as a result, and the family demands are very high.

Her husband's brother has moved in with a 19 year old girl, and the two of them go to my friend's house every single weekend, as well as popping up randomly during the week. My friend made every effort to be pleasant, but she cannot stand this girl. Neither can her husband, but he's a "go along to get along" type, and he and his brother are very close. My friend does not do that well, and she's stressed to the point of my being very worried about her. She has tried explaining this to her husband, but he forbid her to say anything to his brother, for fear the brother would stop coming over. She suggested that her husband go over to his brother's house and visit there, but her husband said that their house is disgusting, (they don't clean, do laundry or take out trash) and he won't set foot in there. She is to the point where she leaves her house the minute that she hears that they are coming over. She comes over here - if I'm not home, she uses her key and just hides out until they go home. She has attempted multiple times to talk to her husband about the situation, and is told to just "deal with it". From what she & her husband & the rest of their family have told me, it's not just her being petty. I don't know the girl, so I won't list out the reasons for my friend's dislike.

My fear is, I'm seeing things that have me worried. She's not eating, she's not sleeping, she rarely leaves her bedroom. She's lost interest in everything other than her son, and it scares me. Her leaving is NOT a possibility right now...it would throw her son into a severe emotional tailspin. He cannot tolerate any change to his routine, and that is not him being "just a kid", it's the Asperger's. She says that she has to consider what he can handle, not what she can handle. The problem is, her husband knows this.

She knows that I am available to her 24/7 if she needs to talk, but it's not cutting it and I'm out of ideas.

ETA: I realize that the reason behind the stress seems petty, but it isn't. It's just far too involved to give a thorough explanation in a post.

I'm sorry, I don't have any ideas, but my heart goes out to her and her son, and you. I hope that the husband decides that his wife and son and their well-being, and the priority of them as a family, is more important than anything else. They should all be able to sit down and discuss it, and if certain behaviors/issues continue, then there should be alternative options that can benefit all. JMO

Is there any things she can do for herself when these situations arise, beyond the situation involving the husband? Maybe try and find something to do for her to make herself feel better?

As for the rest, maybe she needs to talk to the brother one to one or something I don't know. It's a tough spot for her to be in to be sure, hope things get worked out.