I like this idea, but I can't understand why whenever I try to communicate, everyone runs away.

Let errrrrr RIP!!!! Ppppfffffttttttt!!!

Jack da rippers my name. Crop dustin aisles at walmarts my game.

Take pride in your glide. I call people on the phone just to demonstrate my colon is workin. "Hey Ma! Check this one out! Ppppppppfffffffftttttttttt"!!!!!! She's so proud!

Cmon! Let's get those digestive juices flowing!!!

wonder if someone's trying to sniff around

Blonde. James blonde....007. My spincter is registered as a lethal weapon. Colon. Shaken, not stirred.

Isn't it illegal for john tesh to fart?

And you just know the verizon phone guy with the gay granny glasses is a farter. Can you hear me now?

Howie mandel doesn't fart. Everyone knows that's how all his hair fell out and how he was able to do "Bobbys" voice so well. If I didn't fart I could give mariah carey a run for the money. LAAAAASCREEEECHHH!!!!

Ron jeremy? Farter. Nuff said. One look at him and you want to fart.

Ok ....so this dude goes to pick up his date. the girls dad answers the door and says , shes not ready yet. come in and sit. the dude really hasta pfart bad and sees the dog is sitting next to him. he thinks to himself, maybe the dad will think its the dog so he lets a little out....Butch!!the man yells, the dude thinks to himself, sweet!! im in the clear, so he lets out a little more...Butch!! the man yells again, so the dude says to himself, cool! im gonna let er rip. so he rips out the rest of this long fart and the old man yells, Butch, get away from that dude before he sh!ts all over you

Molly ringwald? I will let you decide.

Well its a known fact that women can't keep a secret. But they sure can hold a fart. So if you ever want to tell a woman a secret, tell it to her spincter.

Biker, I never hold them in. That's just not natural. My favorite is letting a stinker in the car. Closing the doors real fast then sending my daughters out to get my purse.