my children have this little personality quirk...they happen to be a bit
domestically challenged, i.e. lazy.

anyhow, i explained that we were a family, and that there had to be give
and take. if i was to wash their clothing and cook their dinner, they
had to do their chores. if they didn't do them...then i wasn't cooking,
either.

my 11-year-old just handed me this note:



dear lori,

we need to negotiate! i have a deal that would help both me and you!
but first, here are my reasons!

1. firstly, kids are dying because parents won't feed them.
2. second of all, my school isn't feeding us enough! and you won't make
us lunches!
3. no one's full when they go home or right after lunch!

okay, here's my deal. circle one of the choices below:

no clean house and no dinner for us

OR

we eat dinner and then clean. (the room you want us to.)

one way goes for none of us and one way goes for the both of us. please
turn page!

you want a clean house, and we want dinner! you want it your way, we
want it our way! we have our word!

please sign name below:


_____________________________________



caitlyn

jordan

Don't you just love them more?


We encourage our children to reason and compromise...

They are my best teachers.


And I so love it when I am wrong..

(So do they)

yeah, i signed the silly thing...i was impressed that they worked that
out, all by their lonesomes.

i encourage my children to be free-thinkers, to be their own
person...and that includes compromise. i don't get my own way all the
time out in the world, and i don't at home, either.

So what was for dinner, Mum?

Clever little creatures aren't they!

making it as we speak. angel hair pasta with a homemade alfredo sauce
with squash, red bell pepper, and onion; brussel sprouts; and garlic
bread.

That's one clean room of your choice!!!!

Even I would clean a room for that dinner...and it's breakfast time
here...

hehe...i mentioned i'm a pretty kick cook, eh?

i'd be honored to cook for you someday, lee...rennetless cheese, and no
dead stuff.

Bravo Lulu,, You have some pretty amazing children you have done a fine
job in raising them,,,

*grins* thank you, i'm pretty darned proud of them.

Shows good parenting. Your getting in their heads & that is the most
important thing we can do. After some seperation, my son came to live
with Gwen & I. We got in his head & he is now a great man. Better than
his dad, I am so proud of him.

LOL that is cute. My son was 3 and i was potty training and used to pay
him a quarter for everytime he went potty until about a week into it and
he told me he needed it raised to a dollar.LOL It's only gotten worse
since then he's 8 now and we're in the process of negotiating a raise on
the allowance due to inflation.LMAO

my son is 9 nad he works for his money i have thought him from a very
young age that he has to work for a living and if he does not work he
does not get paid. that is something that has been lost in the kids of
today. it is called a work ethic.

Matter of opinion six. As for work ethic it's learned by actions more
than anything you can preach till your blue in the face if you don't
practice it your doing nothing but teaching a double standard. My sone
has things he is required to do in order to earn his pay so to speak but
i have to say i'm proud of the fact that he has negotiating skills and
can discuss valid points as to why he needs or feels he deserves a
raise. I may not agree with him but he can intelligently discuss his
reasoning with me. He doesn't just tell me i want more money because
johnny get more or just cause he does. His bargaining chip right now is
he needs a raise because gas pirices are rising and he wants a gas
powered minibike and he'll have to buy the fuel and he's not old enough
to get a real job so......

ooh, you've got a smart one on your hands.

we don't do allowance, i figure the things around the house are what a
family does as part of living in the house. if they do EXTRA, like
clean out the van or the yard...then i pay them.

Yes he is I have to say I'm glad he did take after his father in that
department he is highly intelligent but it does have it 's drawbacks.

Lori, I would be honoured to be invited as a guest into your home... and
would be so appreciative of a meal.

I also do not have allowances, pocket money with my children, we have
what we have and if we can't afford it, we don't have it.

We also share a house, we live together, we all work to maintain our
house, we are not separate, we are one family unit.

This thread pleases me inside...

My boys have been a big help as of late, and our limited time of
dialogue has shown the rewards of the improved behaviours... all of
ours...lol

Children learn what they live...

Wow Lori, you have bright children and its obvious your doing a great
job raising them. They seem so confident and articulate with that
writing. Impressive..

"Children learn what they live..."

i couldn't agree more.

and thanks, darren.