I love this life, but I hate the aftertaste. Like waking from a dream
with someone's fingers in your mouth.

What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind

LMAO @ NomDiPlume

I used to do drugs.... I still Do .... but I usede to too

Mitch Hedberg(RIP)

Elvis is alive and kicking it!!

why do I deliver newspapers to people
It's almost like I am saying
"here you throw this away for me"

(Talking)
Once upon a time at the foot of a great mountain, there was a town where
the people known as Happyfolk lived.(Chorus in background humming)Their
very existence a mystery to the rest of the world, obscured as it was by
great clouds. Here they played out their peaceful lives, innocent of the
litany of excess and violence that was growing in the world below. To
live in harmony with the spirit of the mountain called Monkey was
enough. (Chorus stops humming) Then one day Strangefolk arrived in the
town. They came in camouflaged, hidden behind dark glasses, and no one
noticed them; they only saw shadows. You see, without the truth of the
eyes, the Happyfolk were blind.

(Singing)
Falling out of aeroplanes and hiding out in holes
Waiting for the sunset to come, people going home
Jump out from behind them, and shoot them in the head
Now everybody dancing the dance of the dead
The dance of the dead
The dance of the dead.

(Talking)
(Chorus humming in background) In time, the Strangefolk found their way
into the higher reaches of the mountain, and it was there that they
found the caves of unimaginable sincerity and beauty. By chance, they
stumbled upon the place where all good souls come to rest. (Chorus stops
humming) The Strangefolk, they coveted the jewels in these caves above
all things, and soon they began to mine the mountain, it's rich seam
fueling the chaos of their own world. Meanwhile, down in the town, the
Happyfolk slept restlessly, their dreams invaded by shadowy figures
digging away at their souls. Every day, people would wake and stare at
the mountain. Why was it bringing darkness into their lives? (Chorus
humming in background) And as the Strangefolk mined deeper and deeper
into the mountain, holes began to appear, bringing with them a cold and
bitter wind that chilled the very soul of the Monkey. For the first
time, the Happyfolk felt fearful for, they knew that soon the Monkey
would stir from its deep sleep. (Chorus stops humming) Then there came a
sound. Distant first, it grew into castrophany so immense it could be
heard far away in space (echoes). There were no screams. There was no
time. The mountain called Monkey had spoken. There was only fire. And
then, nothing.

(Singing)
Oh, little town in U.S.A
The time has come to see
Oh nothing you believe you are
But where were you when it all came down on me
Did you call me now?


Gorillaz

and you all knew I was gonna post this one again


Swedish Chef]

Hoo tu meke-a KFC PupCurn Cheeckee

1 Cheeckee
1 Toob ooff lerd
1 Coop ooff selt
2 Coops ooff breed meex

Teke-a zee cheeckee. Poock oooot it's feezeers. Boot dun't let it's
screemeeng boog yuoo. Iff it duse-a poot oon iermooffffs.Zeen veepe-a
ooffff
zee bluud. Zeen heet up zee lerd teell it bueels. Puur zee selt oon zee
cheeckee. Yuoo meeght veesh tu poot tepe-a eruoond it's beek su it
dusen't
peck et yuoor hund vhyle-a yuoo ere-a roobbeeng zee selt intu it's fresh
vuoonds. Zeen poot zee cheeckee in zee bueeling lerd fur 10 secunds.
Joost
inffuoogh tu meke-a zee skeen bueel up. Zeen teke-a zee cheeckee oooot,
und
peel
ooffff zee skeen. Yuoo meeght vunt tu ckeck thet zee burd cun't hoort
yuoo.
Bork Bork Bork!

It shuoold be-a in sefeer peeen by noo... Teke-a zee skeen und poot it
in zee
breedmeex su thet it steecks tu zee skeen. Zeen troo it in zee toob ooff
lerd
unteell zee breed meex herdens. Ta Da! POPCORN CHICKEN!!! Oo ya.. Yuoo
cun
vetch
zee cheeckee sooffffer es a furm ooff interteeenment vhyle-a ieteeng its
skeen..
Bork Bork Bork!

-Swedish Chef

Walks in. looks round. Can't think of anything to say. Backs
out

The five reasons behind NASA:

Inflatable rubber rafts

The color periwinkle

and banjo music

-- that's why god invented fjords --

and then the Magic 8-Ball said, "Butte, Montana."

Pelicans are fun to throw small figurines of the Taj Mahal at.

(Andy Rooney said all of this on 60 Minutes, July 11, 1997.)

Best job in the world: Radio ventriloquist.

Be free.......Dance in your Undies..........

Is that stupid enough for ya?

Ever since I moved out I havn't worn any extra clothing besides my
undies

What was the question again?

Good evening, I would like to obtain a license for my pet halibut.
This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to
meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you
hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is
metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and
joined the bleedin' choir invisibile! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
Look, I'm going to ask you again if you have any cheese, and if you say,
"no", I'm going to shoot you in the head.
If La Fontaine's elk would spurn Tom Jones, the engine must be our head,
the dining car our oesophagus, the guard's van our left lung, the cattle
truck our shins, the first-class compartment the piece of skin at the
nape of the neck and the level crossing an electric elk called Simon.
The clarity is devastating. But where is the ambiguity?
It's over there in a box.
Shunt is saying the 8.15 from Gillingham when in reality he means the
8.13 from Gillingham. The train is the same only the time is altered.
Ecce homo, ergo elk.
La Fontaine knew his sister and knew her bloody well. The point is
taken, the beast is moulting, the fluff gets up your nose. The illusion
is complete; it is reality, the reality is illusion and the ambiguity is
the only truth.
But is the truth, as Hitch**** observes, in the box? No there isn't
room, the ambiguity has put on weight.
With many apologies to John Cleese.
And that's all I have to say about that.

blorf

something anything

as long as its stupid

--------------------------

Jump up and try to get your panties/shorts on b4 you hit the
floor....

You first...

Nus, please, no Klingon talk in front of the accursed Romulans!

I found the love of my life here!!!!!! Lostpuppy I'm all yours!!