Somebody asked me what I thought about a girl I had met awhile back but never really got to know very well. And in the absence of having anything to base a real impression on, I just sort of muttered, "Oh, well, she seems nice."

That's when it occurred to me that my whole concept of "nice," as it applies to a description of a person, is built around the idea of "this person hasn't made any discernible impression on me whatsoever."

Whether that's because I haven't been around them enough to develop a sense of who they are, or whether it's because they really just don't have any semblance of a personality, is irrelevant. It's a "catch-all," a junk drawer, a place to file zeroes.

But it helps me understand why we see so many "nice guy" threads from posters here, often new members -- they define "nice" in terms of "pleasant, inoffensive, innocuous" -- with a vague tinge of that being something good (i.e., in the absence of anything "bad" -- inoffensive and innocuous certainly isn't "bad" -- so it must be OK), whereas some of us see it more as a negative by virtue of being bland, boring, and all too easy to ignore.

Now, of course, I expect to see a spate of "Why don't girls like innocuous guys?" threads. Fair is fair.

are you just waiting for someone to say.. "thats nice?"

"It's nice to be nice to the nice."...Major Frank Burns. be seeing you

Well, not really. Standard Operating Procedure dictates that this will eventually be turned into a thread about genitalia or beer.

I never really thought of anyone being just nice

The "just nice" is usually that first put out there impression everyone gives just to grab you in

We all have a little niceness in us but really that niceness can turn into a grizzly in heat!!

(sound bitter?)

or moobs...don't forget them! but outside of just enjoying the write, i can't think of anything to say other than...that was nice! okay, how about well said and thought-provoking!!

Not sure where you are taking the "innocence" approach here, but whatever works for you!

"Innocence",or just being on guard.

I think I have been guilty of saying someone was nice too, when asked
about them, when I hardly knew them.
Guess it was a politer way to respond then saying I did'nt even know who the heck they were.
Perhaps subconciously we just don't want to be mean.
IDK...

Yeah, I think there's an almost reflexive need to be "nice."

But we have to fight it. Being honest (which is just another way to say blunt, or mean, or so overly critical that you just have to grit your teeth to stop yourself from pushing my ex-mother-in-law down a flight of stairs again) is part of the "human condition," like bunions or ebola.

Let's all get in touch with our inner not-niceness and use it to our advantage, such as making fun of people who put "I'm laid back and easy going" in their profiles.

So all these years I've been an "innocuous" guy. OK. That clears that up. Thanks, Lex.

No problem. I'm all about defining the terminography.

When I get asked about someone I don't know my typical response is "eh"...I wonder where that puts me at, could it be a pre-cursor to cannibalism?!

You can't have escargot without "eh."

So your whole life>>>you'll read out of a dictionary?

Nice to me is pleasant, positive or along those lines. So I guess the definition of the word to the person would matter in this realm.

Why not? Most people can't use the English language properly anyway, might as well familiarize yourself with it and go from there. Hell, it might even make you happy...and if you're happy why the hell do you need something that can cause a rift in that?

Be back in a minute, my Stewart Steak is ready.

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