Ello...

Who's pissin' ya off, Joy?

Let me at'im... I'll moiderizie him, is what I'll do...

Yeah. IF there's anyone you don't want "moiderizin'" you, it'd be Mahan. He got street cred, yo! (Fo' Shizzle!)

(((Mahan))) thanks sweets, I'm calming down slowly...

Calming down slowly, Prncs? So you're not taking out your frustrations by beating your children and getting your dog to fetch your ball when you actually threw a stick?

Nope the boys are asleep and just took the dog potty...

Moofooga, what'choo mean street cred? What have you heard?

The only reason I got my butt kicked that time in Sylmar was cuz I had JUST gotten a manicure and a haircut and didn't wanna mess up my nails. You know? Otherwise, I coulda taken on all three of them cholos!

The boys are asleep??? At THIS hour???

I'm actually taking Ji Kwon Do classes. It's like Tae Kwon Do but mo' betta!

I'm studying under Master Ming who studied with a guy who used to be friends with the neighbor of a dude who's barber once cut Bruce Lee's manager's hair...!

Yeah go figure....

Yeah, did you put sumptin in their drinks, like redlin or elephant tranquilizers?

No, the oldest was up all night, his usual.. my younger one went to sleep late so he's tired, he had a busy weekend with birthday parties and disneyland....

Yay... Disneyland. Over priced, over-rated and over crowded...!

...

I remember when I was going to college in East L.A. when three shaved-headed cholo types pulled a gun out and tried to rob me. Of course, they made the tactical error of standing too close to me, as they never saw me snatch the gun from the head cholo's hand.

Then one tried to punch me in the face in trying to get the gun back. Big mistake.

For you see- I was around 262 pounds at the time, having been a devout follower of the weight-lifting and body-building arts while in college. I had also moonlighted taking classes in a pro-wrestling school in the San Fernando Valley as well as some judo classes, too.

In short, I punched one of their faces in, dropping him instantly. I then proceeded to get the second one in a pro-wrestling move known as "the jack-knife powerbomb", which is where you scoop the dude up and drop him on the back of his skull from way high up.

The third guy was SO scared he pissed himself and ran home to mama.

Now THAT'S street cred!

Wow. Hangin' out at Disneyland, eh? That must TOTALLY suck!

He loves it.. He has an annual pass my sister got him for Christmas... I'll put money on he'll want another this Christmas in addition to the regular stuff....

Well, impressive street creds. But I'm not gonna get my butt kicked any more. The 3 days a week Ji Kwon Do classes I'm taking are teaching me how to defend myself...!

I'm still a grasshopper!

Yeah. Ji Kwon Do's pretty good.

But...


... if it's TRUE ass-kickin' you wanna do, check out Brazilian Ju-Jitsu (often called "Gracie Ju-Jitsu" named after the founders of the style). It's some TRULY vicious grappling-related wrestling, chocked full of choke-holds, arm-bars, and down-and-dirty fightin'. Plus, since it's wrestling, and not fist-on-face stuff, it's all about momentum and NOT about size, too. That means you'll be takin' down fat, bloated bikers in no time!

Krav Naga is another really good martial art, and it's REALLY easy, too. It was developed for the Israeli army, and is probably one of the most bare-bones, leave-the-other-dude-in-a-pool-of-his-own-blood kinds of martial arts out there.

As for me, I've had pretty good luck with picking people up and throwing them around.

Awesome...

*YAWN*

Well, I reckon I should go get some shut eye.

It's my night off and nothing to do...

Good night ya'll...!