welcome back to the east coast!

Thanks Lilith for showing some concern.

I've always been honest. I'd never ever meet a guy with all that going on. I want a guy who is my peer.

And Tod, these barriers have existed since you jioned the site, yes?

That makes me wonder something. So you do you suppose a guy, even if he is considering bankrupty and even retained an attorny and all the ugly things I mentioned previously, can still be a peer with someone despite all the setbacks?

I'd have to agree

A peer is an equal. What you are asking a woman to do is date you despite the fact that you have no stability or structure. Would you date a woman in the same or similar circumstances as you?

Yes, if we got along, had things in common, and she was pretty..

Coming from you -- "I'd never ever meet a guy with all that going on. I want a guy who is my peer" so you are saying a guy with all those problems cannot and will never be a peer. I disagree.

I'm not saying he could not be a peer. I'm saying he would not be at that point and time. A peer of mine would be stable and have things to offer and share as well as accept and be given. Equality.

And where and how would you date a woman with no car, no job, and lives with her dad?

A peer is someone with the same standing... meaning socially, economically, spiritually and emotionally.

I'm broke, live in a cardboard box, but have an (2008) F150 Lariat. Will you date me? LOL

so are you saying, correct me if I am wrong, that you would meet him only but only after he overcame his setbacks and issues and then that would make it acceptable to be a peer? So to you it is like half half give and take 50/50 am I on the same page?

I will make up a scenerio. The where part could be anywhere. On the computer, in my hometown, or better yet next door. I cyber dated a girl once till I actually met her in person a long long time ago. The how part is I could walk to see her take a bus or ride a bike. Not having a job is not a huge problem so long as I know she is working to better herself and making an effort to seek a career. And the living with her dad part is not a huge issue. As long as the dad liked me and accepted me I would be content with that.

Hell no. It is 100/100. I don not date until I'm there, til I'm complete. I had to move back to Ohio several years ago and I had no job and was staying with a friend.

Once I got a steady job, found myself a place, and felt like I was secure in my life I started dating. But no dates whatsoever during that time. I was weak and needy and boring and .....etc.

Oh and my cardboard box is a newer one. :)


What she is saying is she is looking for someone stable. Pretty simple to me.

I'll tell you the scientific method of finding your one true love on a dating site, keep in mind I've known of this secret for awhile and have shared it with few. With that in mind, lend me your eye's...

1: Look around your place real quick, everything tidy?
2: Good, now look for the nearest coin, any will work but this works best with a quarter.
3: Take the quarter and place it on top of your thumbnail resting against your pointer finger.
4: Flip; call it in the air, best of luck.

"I'm saying he would not be at that point and time." Lilith thanks for clarifying that and shedding light for me..

That makes sense. I am the same exact way. I want to get my life together and stable before I date someone or take things further with someone. I have to concentrate on making my economic, social, and emotional stronger and more firm. Till then I will only be needy, weak, yada yada.... gotta keep one foot in front of the other!

Well, I was weak and needy. I am the sort of person who needs to work and feel good about herself by being independent. Dating in less than ideal circumstances for me... well it just wasn't an option. It is unfair to me and those I'd meet.