I can't remember if I posted this before, but just in case I didn't, I
thought I would share it.

THE FOLLOWING ARE ACTUAL STATEMENTS FOUND ON INSURANCE FORMS WHERE CAR
DRIVERS ATTEMPTED TO SUMMARISE THE DETAILS OF AN ACCIDENT IN THE FEWEST
POSSIBLE WORDS. INSTANCES OF FAULTY WRITING SERVE TO CONFIRM THAT EVEN
INCOMPETANT WRITING MAKES HIGHLY ENTERTANING READING:

I saw a sad moving sad faced old gentleman, as he bounced off the bonnet
of my car.

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house, and collided with a tree I
haven’t got.

I collided with a stationary truck coming in the opposite direction.

A truck backed through the windscreen into my wife’s’ face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before
I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law,
and headed into the embankment.

In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telegraph pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I
reached the intersection, a hedge sprung up obscuring my vision, and I
did not see the other vehicle.

I had been driving for forty years, when I fell asleep at the wheel.

I was on the way to the doctors with rear end trouble, when my universal
joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I hit the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car…… and vanished.

I told the policeman I was not injured,
But on removing my helmet, I found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure that the old fellow would never make it to the other side of
the road, so I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which way to run. So I ran over him.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy, in a small car,
with a big mouth.

I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a
ditch by some stray cows.

The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.

The accident was due to the man narrowly missing me.

I left my Austin 7 outside, but came out later, and to my amazement,
there was an Austin 12.

To avoid collision, I ran into the other car.

There were plenty of on-lookers, but no witnesses.

The water in my radiator accidentally froze at midnight.

I was scraping my nearside on the bank when the accident happened.

I collided with a stationary tree.

There was no damage done to the car, as the gatepost will testify.

The accident was due to the road bending.

The other man changed his mind, and I had to run into him.

I told the idiot what he was, and went on my way.

One wheel went into the ditch. My foot jumped from the brake to the
accelerator pedal, leapt across the road to the other side, and jumped
into the trunk of a tree.

A cow wandered into my car. I was later informed that the cow was half
witted.

She suddenly saw me, lost her head, and we met.

I was taking a friend home, and keeping two yards from each lamppost,
which were in a straight line.
Unfortunately, there was a bend in the road, bringing the right hand
lamppost in line with the other, and of course, I landed in the ditch.

If the other driver had stopped a few yards in front of himself, the
accident would not have happened.

I misjudged an old lady crossing the street.

Driving out of my driveway at 7am this morning I drove into a bus.
The bus was five minutes early.

I can’t give details of the accident as I was somewhat concussed at the
time.

Wilful damage was done to the upholstery by rats.

I blew my horn, but it did not work, as it had been stolen.

A lamppost bumped into my car, damaging it in two places.

The car in front of me stopped suddenly, and I crashed gently into the
bumper.

The other car collided with me without giving warnings of his
intentions.

I unfortunately ran over a pedestrian, and the old gentleman was taken
to hospital, much regretting the circumstances.

I thought the side window was down, but it was up, as I found out when I
put my head through it.

I consider no vehicle was to blame. But, if either vehicle was to blame,
it was the other one.

I looked for the sign, but the more I looked, I couldn’t find it.

My breaks weren’t working and the other driver wouldn’t move over, or
let me pass. So I ran into him.

The other driver had not wound his window down, and I broke my hand
trying to hit him.

I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road. I hit them,
which caused me to ejaculate through the sun roof.

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I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road. I hit them,
which caused me to ejaculate through the sun roof.
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OMFG I just got a visual of this...and now I gotta change my undies
haha

And I am in the Insurance Business