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| Topic: Jokes to make you groan!!! | |
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A wayward goat wandered into a Carl's Jr. restaurant Sat. in Mira Loma, CA...Before being corralled by the Riverside County S.D. the goat approached the counter and requested a "Kids" meal...
A 49-year-old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked 'Is my time up?' God said, 'No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.' Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in, change her hair colour, and brighten her teeth. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, 'I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?' God replied: 'I didn't bloody recognize you.'  
Do you know why the Snowman was smiling? The snow blower was coming. 
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Just what I needed this morning tom!!!
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i got one, anyone here have issues with blond jokes??
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Edited by
uk1971
on
Tue 05/05/09 08:36 AM
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i got one, anyone here have issues with blond jokes?? The blonder the better. 
This happened at Harvard University a couple of years ago. In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen which gives the sperm all the energy for their journey. A blonde female freshman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand you correctly, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar, in semen?" "That's correct," responded the professor, going on to add statistical info. Raising her hand again, she asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing. The poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class, never to return. However, as she was going out the door, the professor's reply was classic. Totally straight-faced he answered her question. "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat. Have a good day!" 
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Here's one:
The was a prisoner escape at a minimum security detention center in Washington State, where a midget (little person) who was serving three years for fraud (he was pretending to a psychic) just walked off the grounds. The next day's headline read: Small Medium at Large. |
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A wayward goat wandered into a Carl's Jr. restaurant Sat. in Mira Loma, CA...Before being corralled by the Riverside County S.D. the goat approached the counter and requested a "Kids" meal...
A 49-year-old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked 'Is my time up?' God said, 'No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.' Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in, change her hair colour, and brighten her teeth. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, 'I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?' God replied: 'I didn't bloody recognize you.'
Do you know why the Snowman was smiling? The snow blower was coming.
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i got one, anyone here have issues with blond jokes?? Never ever. |
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