there was once a lifeguard who jogged to work every day
one day, he hears crying from behind a sand dune. running behind the dune,he discovers a beautiful woman with niether arms nor legg, sitting on a blanket, sobbing. when asked what was wrong,she replied she had never in her life had a hug, so our hero, being a gentleman,picked her up and gave her a squeeze. after setting her back down, and having made her day,he continued his jog to work. next day, same sand dune, same crying and whining,same question, different answer. seems she had never been kissed, so being late for work, he picks her up, plants a big old wet one on her lips, tosses her down on the blanket, and runs to work. next day, sure enough, same damn dune, same whining, crying,no arm no leg woman. now he's getting tired of the routine, so when he asks her what's wrong this time, she replies that she still a virgin. upon hearing this, he reaches down, picks her up, and runs out into the surf,throwing her as far as he can, and yells"yeah, well you're f#*@ed now, *****!