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| Topic: Keep trying? or move on? | |
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I wasn't going to post but well of course I went against my better judgment... A few things I'd like to say that I won't b/c you might get mad at me..
So plainly put, the bottom line is she's still into this guy and no matter what he is or what you or anyone else thinks of him she's not over him and won't be until she learns how to be... That being said, I'd move on and not just with dating other people but I'd move away from the frienship as well... In my opinion she's using you b/c you like her and will talk to her even when she's being stupid... jmo |
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Exactly. You're being played, and it simply isn't worth trying to hang in there. Your best bet is to just cut your losses and move on.
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I don't know, I need to ask my wife
 
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I don't know, I need to ask my wife
(((Tom)))
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she has to decide for herself no input from you will alter that .Maybe make it worse even. Then at the last thing you text is "I give up" yeah you explained that.. but thats the point....you know you should just give it up. Its best for her right now .NOT YOU IMO. Thanks for an actual response instead of an attack! What I meant by "I give up" was not that I give up on her. I meant I give up trying to help her get over this guy. I know it is not my place to tell her anything she should or shouldn't do to get over this guy. I'm mainly asking if I should try and explain this to her and tell her that I still do care for her. Or would this be "stalkerish"? Or whether I should wait and see if she calls or messages me ever again. I do give up on trying to build a relationship with her for the time being. But I do still care a lot about her and would hate to lose her as a friend. But would my attempts to tell her this be taken in the wrong way? |
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Exactly. You're being played, and it simply isn't worth trying to hang in there. Your best bet is to just cut your losses and move on. If she was still seeing this guy at all, I would agree completely and never present the opportunity. But I still have to agree 90%. I do believe in that 10% chance that she may actually get over him and there will be possibilities in the furture. So I'm wondering whether I should talk to her at all. Or should I just tell her she's crazy I don't wanna talk to her at all anymore. Either way I'm not going to stick around and wait. There are lots of other fish in the sea. I just can't seem to meet one elsewhere. |
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I don't know, I need to ask my wife
(((Tom)))
 
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I don't know, I need to ask my wife
(((Tom)))
doin' great love.. follow me... |
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So I have this lady friend. She broke up with her man a few months ago. It was apparently a rough breakup and led her to check herself into a treatment center. A couple months later she still says she loves him. We had a long conversation by text message the other night. Eventually I asked her what she's so in love with him for. She sent me a message back saying: companionship, good times, and good sex. I sent her a message back saying those are B.S. reasons to still be torn up over somebody. She could find those things anywhere else. I told here he was a typical man using her for a piece of a$$ and a free ride. And another saying she was very lucky to know a single guy like me who doesn't have it in him to treat women like that. So from there I thought I had her convinced that her last man was a piece of sh!t and that her feelings for him should be no more. I told here if she was looking for someone genuine, she could find it in me. So we kinda sort of hooked up via text message. I know that's kinda lame but anyway... We made plans to talk and go to the pool the next day. I get a message about an hour later saying something like, "I'm so sorry. I just can't. I got things to think about. I'll talk to you tomorrow." I replied, "Ooooo...K. I give up." Keep in mind that I've been talking to her for weeks trying to get her over this guy. We have been flirting back and forth this whole time too. But she's still not completely over him. I thought after our conversation the other night that I had gotten her over him, but apparently not. I haven't heard from her since I sent her that last message. Not "Sorry for not showing up" or "How you doing?" or anything. I know "I give up" may sound kinda harsh, but I didn't mean it as "I give up completely and never wanna talk to you again." I just meant I give up on trying to get her over this other guy. If she wants to make a serious effort, then I'm open to it. So I'm wondering should I abandon all the flirting and talking we've done these past few weeks and move on? Or should I keep trying to score this woman I really do like? Would it be worth my while? Or would it be a waste of my time and possibly be getting myself into nothing but a troubled relationship? Should I let her know I haven't given up the idea that I can make her forget about this other guy? Or should I let her deal with it herself? I dunno. Women are crazy. How do you think I should handle this from here? Much appreciated EZ
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dang right it is degrading to her and her feelings.... there is nothing more degrading than someone trying to slide on in during a rough time and having to degrade someone they loved in the past to make them self sound better as you have done you compared her ex to you in ways.. and while doing it degraded him and his ways by name calling.. that is just plain hurtful to her cause she loved him..
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I wasn't going to reply either but couldn't help myself.
WOMEN ARE CRAZY AND YOU SHOULD GIVE UP. You weren't trying to be her friend or help her get over a bad relationship. You had an agenda and she didn't follow it. Be a friend and just maybe you'll get one in return. *stepping down off her soap box* |
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Remember the only good advice is the advice some want to hear...
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its apparent that she has moved on herself from you so i dont know why u are worring about it if you should or not...and i would hope that she doesnt have to worry about you moving on also...
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Remember the only good advice is the advice some want to hear... One of my weaknessess. I will make a list. 
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Remember the only good advice is the advice some want to hear... One of my weaknessess. I will make a list.
Eh I always forget that rule but I just watched it here so it reminded me that I forgot my helmet...
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dang right it is degrading to her and her feelings.... there is nothing more degrading than someone trying to slide on in during a rough time and having to degrade someone they loved in the past to make them self sound better as you have done you compared her ex to you in ways.. and while doing it degraded him and his ways by name calling.. that is just plain hurtful to her cause she loved him.. Name calling? When and where? Oh yeah, the P.O.S. thing. He completely took advantage of her, manipulated her to get his way, constantly lied to her, cheated on her with multiple women, used her for her money, used her for a place to stay, stole money and jewelry from her to support his drug habit, beat her,... Is this not a man you'd call a P.O.S.? I am not trying to "slide on in" anything. I was just trying to be a good friend and be there for her, offer her some words of comfort, give her a shoulder to cry on. She took it to the flirting level. I never responded to the flirting until she showed very much apparent progress in getting over him. Next time a lady friend goes through a rough breakup, perhaps I should just tell her, "Tough sh!t, get over it"? "Sorry, not my problem"? |
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dang right it is degrading to her and her feelings.... there is nothing more degrading than someone trying to slide on in during a rough time and having to degrade someone they loved in the past to make them self sound better as you have done you compared her ex to you in ways.. and while doing it degraded him and his ways by name calling.. that is just plain hurtful to her cause she loved him.. Name calling? When and where? Oh yeah, the P.O.S. thing. He completely took advantage of her, manipulated her to get his way, constantly lied to her, cheated on her with multiple women, used her for her money, used her for a place to stay, stole money and jewelry from her to support his drug habit, beat her,... Is this not a man you'd call a P.O.S.? I am not trying to "slide on in" anything. I was just trying to be a good friend and be there for her, offer her some words of comfort, give her a shoulder to cry on. She took it to the flirting level. I never responded to the flirting until she showed very much apparent progress in getting over him. Next time a lady friend goes through a rough breakup, perhaps I should just tell her, "Tough sh!t, get over it"? "Sorry, not my problem"? I will defer to IndnPrncs's rule on this one. You don't want to hear so I won't say. Good luck to you in the future. |
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dang right it is degrading to her and her feelings.... there is nothing more degrading than someone trying to slide on in during a rough time and having to degrade someone they loved in the past to make them self sound better as you have done you compared her ex to you in ways.. and while doing it degraded him and his ways by name calling.. that is just plain hurtful to her cause she loved him.. Name calling? When and where? Oh yeah, the P.O.S. thing. He completely took advantage of her, manipulated her to get his way, constantly lied to her, cheated on her with multiple women, used her for her money, used her for a place to stay, stole money and jewelry from her to support his drug habit, beat her,... Is this not a man you'd call a P.O.S.? I am not trying to "slide on in" anything. I was just trying to be a good friend and be there for her, offer her some words of comfort, give her a shoulder to cry on. She took it to the flirting level. I never responded to the flirting until she showed very much apparent progress in getting over him. Next time a lady friend goes through a rough breakup, perhaps I should just tell her, "Tough sh!t, get over it"? "Sorry, not my problem"? Well I HAVE to say: 1) he manipulated her? What are you trying to do by trying to get her over him and to go out with YOU?? Sorry that's manipilation plain and simple... 2) you stated "you" were the better man for her.. NONE of my male friends would ever say that b/c REAL friends do not try to get with you when you're down, they try to help you feel better and get through your heartbreak... So now every female friend should be told 'tough sh*t' b/c you didn't get the one you wanted.. Or do you want all your female friends? All lot of contradiction going on... |
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Remember the only good advice is the advice some want to hear... I disagree completely. If that were true, I'd still be violating my probation, staying out all night, smoking the hell out of some weed, slacking off in school, eating lots of junk food, ... I never wanted to hear that I need to quit all these things, but I listened. Now I am in the process of getting my life back together. |
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Remember the only good advice is the advice some want to hear... Pssst Princess look up. You got your helmet? |
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